


Punished Angel

by FiliAtYourService



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Bondage, Carl sorta being a bamf, Child Abuse, Daryl and Rick bromance, DarylWhump, Dubious Consent, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Negan is a sick fuck, Negan owns that fucking door, Oh my god Negan's swearing is so beautiful, Past Child Abuse, Protective Daryl, Protective Rick, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rick is just so confused as to what he wants, Rickpublic, Slow Build, Slow Burn Daryl Dixon/Rick Grimes, Still BAMF Daryl, lotta flashbacks, traumatized Daryl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2018-08-10 18:02:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 49,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7855405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiliAtYourService/pseuds/FiliAtYourService
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My take on the season 6 finally, Last Day On Earth. </p><p>After Glenn's gruesom murder, the Alexandria surviors soon learn that Negan isn't even close to being done with his games when he  decides to keep Daryl and Carl as leverage until the first few deals run smoothly. However, when the two beloved family members return, no one was at all ready for it. They thought they could handle Negan... but they were wrong... they didn't know just how sick the man could be...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the Walking Dead or any of it's characters.

Rick's eyes widened considerably, all hope drained from his eyes when one of the Saviors opened the back of a van, his worst fear were now confirmed.

Glenn, Rosita, and Michonne were led out of the van by a few men. 

He noted, that much like some of their group, they had their hands bound behind their backs. 

The former deputy did a brief person count. 

_'Carl, Michonne, Maggie, Abraham, Glenn, Rosita, Eugene, Sasha, Aaron…'_

Wait that wasn't right. Someone was missing. 

_'Daryl…'_ his mind screamed, eyes widening three times their normal size before a voice sliced through his thoughts. 

“Freakin' pussy, get up! Wade come here!” a voice snapped impatiently from the back of the van. 

Rick watched as a tall man who had previously been standing beside a tree approached the vehicle, peering inside a smirk formed on his face.

“Didn't Negan say he wanted them all alive Dwight?” 

“Fuck you, boy's breathin'. Now help me move 'im, nothin' but dead weight.” 

The Savior apparently known as Wade climbed into the back of the van and Rick felt his heart thudding violently against his chest. He had an awful feeling in his gut.

“Christ Dwight, barely breathin'! Man's like ice!” 

“No shit, that's why I have the blanket on him.” 

A strangled shout followed by some murmurs could be heard accompanying the two Saviors.

“What the hell'd you do to him? Looks like you shot him at point blank.” 

“Well I did.” 

Abraham watched as pretty much everyone's eyebrows receded into their hairlines, he didn't blame them either this wasn't going to be pretty. 

Being an Ex-marine he'd seen his share of nastiness but he was able to brace himself easier because of it.

“For Christ' sake, we don't have time for this Negan's waitin'.” Wade snapped, followed by a loud grunt of what sounded like effort.

A half-feral growl seemed to wisp through the air softly, eventually raising in octaves after a few moments. “S-Stop, leeggo of me… ya fucker… put me… down!” 

Pretty soon the two men emerged from the back of the van, Wade had a very unhappy redneck in a bridal carry. 

Rick's heart dropped into the pit of his stomach at the sight of his friend, his brother. He was covered in blood and the skin that wasn't caked in crimson was sheet white, and he could see a very faint blue tint to his lips. 

His body was visibly trembling and when an unbound arm jerked up in an attempted punch to the man's face, the arm stopped in mid punch and simply draped over his chest with the lack of strength. 

Daryl growled in frustration. 

“I'mma…fu… fuck…. fuckin'… kill you…..ge'offa me..”

Wade walked toward the group that was currently lined up and found a space to set the man down, Dwight helped to prop Daryl up on his knees and adjusted the heavy wool blanket that had slipped off his shoulders. 

They didn't even bother with the redneck's hands, from the looks of it he was more likely to pass out than put up a fight, least a decent one. 

“That's everybody.” 

“Alright, let's meet the man!” a different savior spoke and knocked on the side of the RV.

A man emerged from the vehicle, he was fairly tall and wore a black leather jacket, a red scarf and a pair of old cargo pants. He had a baseball bat wrapped in barbwire resting over his shoulder.

“Pissing our pants yet? Boy, do I have a feeling we're getting close!” 

The man's dare Rick say it, 'jolly voice' had everyone's attention as he approached the group.

“Yep. It's gonna be pee-pee pants city here real soon!” he chimed, stopping in his tracks when he was near the middle of the line their group was form into. 

He glanced around and placed a hand on his hip, “So which one of you pricks is the leader?”

Rick didn't answer, his eyes were glued to his brother's trembling body. 

_'Oh Daryl…'_

“It's this one. He's the guy.” The savior they had called Simon suddenly piped up, inclining his head in Rick's direction. 

The leader of the Alexandria group didn't seem to hear their voices, he was deep in thought.

Everyone's eyes shifted from Negan to Rick nervously, when the man let out a exasperated sigh as he approached the ex-cop.

It wasn't until Negan's boots came into his line of view and his shadow loomed over him that Rick finally snapped back to reality, glancing up at the man with unspoken desperation.

Negan looked down at him, bat resting over his shoulder as a friendly smile donned upon face, but his eyes told a different, much darker atmosphere so fierce that it made Rick's stomach churn.

“Hi. You're Rick right? I'm Negan, and I do not appreciate you killing my men. ” 

God he felt like he was on the verge of having an emotional breakdown. This plan had really gone to shit.

“Also, when I sent my people to kill your people for killing my people, you killed more of my people.”

Negan's face turned rather dark instantaneously. “Not cool. Not fucking cool.” 

Carl seemed to be fidgeting with something that Rick couldn't see but the man before him stepped in his line of view before he could inspect further. 

“You have no fucking idea how not fucking cool that shit is. But I think you're gonna be up to speed shortly.” 

He stepped away, bat swinging by his side as he started to pace about. 

“Yeah. You are so gonna regret crossing me in a few minutes.” 

The man circled around before coming to stand in front of him once again, staring down at him with a maniacal grin. “Fuck yeah you are.” 

“You see, Rick, whatever you do, no matter fucking what, you don't mess with the new world order. And the new world order is this, and it's really very simple. So, even if you're fucking stupid, which you very may well be, you can understand it. You ready? Here goes. Pay attention.”

The former deputy had to admit, this Negan was nothing like what he'd expected. He thought of some dumb brute, but this guy was something else. 

He suddenly found Negan's bat hanging inches away from his face as the man leaned forward and started to speak softly. “Give me your shit... or I will kill you."

Seeing the absolute look of horror upon the Alexandria leader's face made his grin widen and he backed up with a chuckle starting to pace.

"Today was career day. We invested a lot so you would know who I am and what I can do. You work for me now. You have shit, you give it to me. That's your job.” 

As the sinister maniac started to pace while he spoke, not one eye was idle. All of them stared with mixed emotions. 

“Now, I know that is a mighty big, nasty pill to swallow, but swallow it you most certainly motherfucking will.”

Rick turned his eyes to Daryl again, noticing the glaring eyes boring deeply into the bat that Negan carried along with him. 

His body was rather lax, as he sat kneeling on the ground, most of his weight was shifted forward and one hand idly held the heavy fabric closed around his body. 

Rick wasn't even sure if the redneck was aware of that part, he seemed both out of it and not at the same time. 

“You ruled the roost. You built something. You thought you were safe. I get it. But the word is out. You are not safe. Not even fucking close. In fact, you are fucked, more fucked if you don't do what I want. And what I want is half your shit. And if that's too much, you can make, find, or steal more, and it'll even out sooner or later. This is your way of life now. The more you fight back, the harder it will be.” 

Negan finally made his way down the line, turning back towards Rick when he reached Michonne.

Rick watched the man make his way back over to him, eyes that were dancing with a sort of sadistic glee, he chuckled softly as he spoke. 

“So, if someone knocks on your door...you fucking let us in. We own that fucking door! You try to fucking stop us and we will fucking knock that fucker down. You understand?”

He licked his lips, mouth opening to speak but he closed it again not quite knowing what to say. 

Amused the fucker balanced on the balls of his feet, raising a hand to his ear as if he misheard something. 

“What, no answer?” he mocked looking around the group expectingly. “You don't really think that you were gonna get through this without being punished, now, did you?” 

Negan shook his head and let out a sigh, “I don't want to kill you people. Just want to make that clear from the get-go. I want you to work for me. You can't do that if you're fucking dead, now, can you!?”

He turned his back to Rick for a moment, smoothing a hand over his hair before looking over his shoulder shooting a wicked grin. “I'm not building a garden.” his eyes turned sharp once again, “But you killed my people, a whole fucking damn shit load of them. More than I'm comfortable with. And for that, for that you gotta fucking pay.” 

The man raised his bat again, squaring his shoulders as he spoke his voice void of previous playfulness, “So, now... I'm gonna beat the holy fuck fucking fuckity fuck outta one of you.” 

He held out the bat as he started walking down the line, “This-- this is Lucille, and she is awesome. All this, all this is just so we can pick out which one of you gets the honor.”

Oh Rick felt like he was going to puke. 

Negan stopped when he came to Abraham, looking at the man who straightened his back and squared his shoulders in response. Either to show he wasn't afraid or he was challenging him, Negan didn't know, didn't give a shit. 

He eyed the ginger beard and reached up to the scruff on his own face stroking it momentarily, “Huh. Ugh, I gotta shave this shit.” 

Still looking around he turned and started to approach the boy he'd seen earlier pointing as he addressed him. “You got one of our guns.” 

Rick's intense glare as the man knelt in front of Carl was completely ignored. 

“Woah. Yeah. You got a lot of our guns.” he spoke lowly continuing to stare at Carl as if waiting for a reaction. 

Carl was absolutely terrified, that much Rick could tell and he didn't blame him. He could see his son was trying to be strong, refusing to cry under the circumstances taking deep breaths to compose himself. 

Negan took the gun from Carl who tried to avoid eye contact afterward. 

“Shit kid,” Negan spoke when Carl's breath hitched for a second, “lighten up. At least cry a little.” 

Chuckling Negan stood up again and cleared his throat, walking back to the other end. As he passed Maggie he gave her a look over then let out a dramatic 'Jesus' 

“You look fucking shitty, I should just put you out of your misery right now.” he said, raising the bat getting ready to swing.

“No! No!” 

Rick jumped as Glenn sprang forward.

Dwight jumped back into action, beating the hell out of Glenn with Daryl's crossbow, Maggie screamed. 

“Stop it!”

“God-!” Glenn was trying to grab at Negan's pant leg, and the man looked annoyed more than anything as he turned his back while Dwight wrestled him down. “Nope, nope, get him back in line.” 

They watched as Dwight dragged Glenn back down to the end of the line, Rick noticed Daryl jerk in alarm quickly looking around trying to figure out what was going on, his hand reached out to Glenn's as he was drug passed him. 

Rick's heart hurt and he was sure everyone else's did too as Glenn started begging the sadistic sunbitch not to hurt his finance. The mother of his child. Tears trickled down his dirty cheeks as his voice hitched with emotion. 

Negan chuckled, leaning back against some of the logs, “All right, listen. Don't any of you do that again. I will shut that shit down, no exceptions.” 

He pointed at Glenn, “First one's free. It's an emotional moment, I get it.”

A tense silence and the only thing that could be heard was breath amongst the cool night air. 

“Sucks, don't it? The moment you realize you don't know shit.” Negan commented as he looked at Rick. 

As expected he didn't get an answer, so he looked over to the boy again. Then back at Rick. Then back at Carl. 

An unspoken 'aha' moment seemed to occur for the man. 

“This is your kid, right?” 

He glanced at the two, comparing their looks trying to find some resemblance and it wasn't hard to find, he laughed to himself for a moment. 

“This is definitely your kid.” 

Rick snapped, “Just stop this!” 

“Hey!” Negan's voice finally raised and he approached Rick with heavy booted feet. 

He definitely had his attention now, he was expecting a blow but it didn't come instead Negan seemed to take a deep breath and calmed down. 

“Do not make me kill the little future serial killer. Don't make it easy on me.” 

A pause and a smile lit up the man's face again as he gestured around, “I gotta pick somebody. Everybody's at the table waiting for me to order.”

Bat still slung over his shoulder, Negan started to walk down the line taking in the rest of the group's appearance.

Rick eyed Michonne who was staring calmly at the dirt right in front of Daryl, the ex-cop let his eyes follow her gaze and noticed the fresh drops of blood that were dripping off the front of Daryl's vest into a small puddle. 

A wild panic was roaring through the man's head, he couldn't lose Daryl! He needed help! God forbid if Negan decided to kill someone else from their group and the redneck died of blood loss after that. 

That would be too much for any of them.

Michonne's dark brown eyes rose to meet his panicked orbs and he could feel the comfort she was trying to offer him wordlessly, trying to reassure him that the man would be alright and to just keep a cool head as best he could.

Swallowing the lump in his throat he took a deep breath and continued to watch Negan inspect his crew.

Negan chuckled and started to move again, this time to Michonne.

Rick heart if even possibly started beating faster as the sinister man stood in front of his girlfriend, stared forward impassively. 

Negan reached a gloved hand down and placed it just underneath her chin, tilting it up so he could look her in the eyes.

Despite the coldness in his woman's eyes, Rick could see her swallow nervously at the touch.

“Well… ain't you a dark pretty little thing.” 

Michonne said nothing, and Negan smiled charmingly. “Come now, let's not be shy. What's your name?”

When the woman remained silent, Negan let out a small noise from the back of his throat running his hand down from her jaw, to her neck, and moving toward the top of her shirt. “It'd be a shame to have to kill something so pretty, least of all before I can fuck it firs-”

Negan's stopped in mid-sentence when his hand was snatched away from Michonne's chest, with a rough grip on his wrist.

The Savior leader followed the hand holding his own to it's owner, finding it to be the man who had been right next to them.

“Don't…. ” a voice rasped.

Rick's eyes widened in horror as he realized what just happened.

Dwight rushed forward, rifle butt lifted fully intent on smashing it into Daryl's head to get him back in his spot but to everyone's surprise and more so unease, Negan snatched hold of the weapon while the man was in mid-swing.

“I got this!” he snarled irritably at the other savior. 

The younger man quickly backed off, going back to the spot he had been standing. 

Negan turned his attention to the man who had stopped his advances on the black woman, dark greasy shoulder length hair, piercing blue gray eyes, judging by his build and all that muscle he could see the man was pretty tough.

_'Well, aren't you good looking._

Despite this, he was in pretty bad shape though. He was deathly pale, his lips were tinted a very faint shade of blue, and his trembling body had a heavy wool blanket draped over his shoulders.

A trembling arm collapsed to his side as the man let go of his wrist, and Negan's interest was peaked. 

He took Lucille from his shoulder and Rick choked on his own breath for a moment, only to release it when the man used it to move the heavy blanket aside. 

Negan let out a whistle, “Wow, and here I thought she looked shitty.” he pointed at Maggie without even looking at her. 

“I would say maybe I should just finish you off, but I don't even know if you'll be any fun. You've lost so much blood I can't really paint a fucking picture with a body that has no fucking blood in it, now can I? Sides you look like you're about to pass the fuck out anyway.” 

Daryl lifted his head to glare fearlessly into the man's eyes, but honestly he was so tired that it didn't seem to have the effect he wanted.

“Aw, how are you cold?! Here let me help.” 

Negan crouched down in front of Daryl, and reached out a hand towards his face to tuck sweat plastered locks behind his ear the redneck flinching as he did so.

“Woah, easy boy!” the man mockingly reassured as he tucked the blanket back around Daryl's shivering body and even went as far as to make sure he was sure the position of the fabric could be considered comfortable, almost affectionately... 

_'Sick fuck.'_ Rick thought to himself quietly.

After he fixed the blanket, Negan leaned in close to Daryl almost like a dad who was having a private chat with his son. 

“Between you and me, I wouldn't grab at me like that again. I'll let it slide this time.” he whispered before he rose to his feet again.

Negan turned his back on Daryl, and started to walk down to the other end of the line. “Well then back to busi-” 

A loud thud made the man stop in mid-sentence, glancing over his shoulder he laughed when he saw that the wounded man had just passed out. 

“And down he fucking goes!” he chuckled clearly quite amused. 

“Daryl!” Rick cried, starting to stand only to be pushed back down by another savior. 

Negan scoffed and rolled his eyes as he made his way back to the man apparently called 'Daryl' he felt for a pulse and rolled his eyes again as he stood starting to the other side of the line again. 

“He's fine, stop your bitching.” he snapped and walked about the line whistling softly. 

After a few minutes of watching the man pace back and forth from one end to the other, he spoke one more time. 

“I have an idea.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out what exactly happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!!! This chapter will contain graphic imagery as well as an extremely descriptive and violent sexual assault.

Carl sat with his back against the cold stone wall, he was reflecting on some things, mostly how in the world it came to this. 

Since the zombie apocalypse broke out, he'd seen a lot of people die, both good and bad. 

His mom, Hershel, Beth, Shane, Sophia, Merle, Amy, Andrea, Patricia, Jimmy, Tyreese, Denise, Dale… Glenn. 

There were so many others too. 

Everyone had suffered some sort of loss in the world they live in now. That's kind of just something he had to get used to. 

He felt movement against his side as the body beside him shifted, and he glanced down to one of the few men next to his dad that he could say he actually felt a sense of idol-ism for. 

Daryl Dixon was a fucking badass. There was no better way to say it. He was a tank, hell he blew up a freaking tank! 

Sure he could be a cold pain in the ass at times, but when it came down to it he was one of the only people he knew would sacrifice everything to protect those that he cared for. 

He'd shown it so many times.

Now to see him like this, Carl didn't know what to say other than it just wasn't right. 

They had been her for almost four weeks now, supposedly according to Negan they would be returning when his crew met with the drop next week. 

Carl didn't know if he was excited or afraid to go back.

Negan and his crew had patched Daryl up, and after about a week of letting the redneck heal… Negan showed them both just how much of a monster he could be. 

**~ Flashback ~**

The door opened and both friends looked up to see Negan come walking through the door with a bag slung over his shoulder, he shot the two a wink as he whistled a tune to himself.

“Evening boys, I see you've finally decided to get back up on your fucking feet Daryl. Good, maybe you can help me with something.” 

Daryl grumbled something under his breath, that sounded an awful lot like 'Go fuck yourself'

Negan turned abruptly, voice snapping angrily, “What was that?!” 

Daryl turned himself around at the raised voice, facing so he could send invisible bolts at his head. “I said go fuck y'self, I ain't helpin' you with shit!” 

“Oh ho! Well now, I think you sure as hell fucking will. Or maybe I'll gut the boy and send his fucking insides to daddy in a fucking box.”  
Daryl's eyes turned fierce and he gradually made his way towards Negan who grabbed a knife, and despite Carl's voice of protest Daryl continued. He stopped about half-way and raised an arm to point at the son of a bitch. 

“Listen here, you sac of shit. You touch a hair on the kid's head and I'll stomp your ass into this concrete.” 

Negan laughed like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. “You think you actually have some fucking control here? Cute.” 

Carl saw the darkness that filled his friend's eyes and felt immediate panic. “Daryl stop.” 

His voice went unnoticed. 

“I ain't thinkin' anything. I'm fucking TELLING YOU that if you lay a hand on him it'll be the last thing y'do.” 

**~ - - - ~**

“Ge' off me! I'm gonna fucking kill you!” Daryl roared as Negan wrestled him down onto the ground. The evil man had to admit he was glad that the redneck's wounds were still in the process of recovering, Daryl Dixon didn't' seem to be a guy you'd like to get into a fist fight with honestly. 

“Fuck easy boy, the first thing we're going to learn right now, is some fucking control. If I say jump you fucking jump, if I say bark like a dog you'll bark like a motherfuckin' dog.”

Daryl growled angrily and a grin broke out upon the man's face. 

“Yes you will.” 

“I ain't doin' nothin ya say y' prick! I'mma will kill you!”

A fist tangled into the redneck's hair pulling his neck back until he grit his teeth in discomfort.

Daryl jerked violently when he felt hot breath in his ear, “Be quiet.” came the asshole's sharp command. 

“You mo'fucker!” the other man roared, throwing all his weight back to try to buck the man off of him. 

Negan rolled his eyes and pulled his gun out of it's holster, and fired a round that went whizzing by Carl's head. 

Everything went still and silent. 

Daryl's eyes rose to meet Negan's and the man smirked. 

“Yeah. That's right. Do you understand now?” 

When Daryl didn't respond Negan cocked the hammer again, and he quickly grumbled a 'yes'.  
“Good now, we're going to test that by playing a game. Just so I know you get it drilled into your fucking heads.” Negan spat to both. 

Negan climbed off of Daryl's back, keeping the gun trained on him as he lay on the floor. 

“Yeah. We're going to play Negan says, if you boys ever played Simon says before I'm sure you can figure out the fucking rules.” 

Carl swallowed nervously, from where he sat against the wall. He had a feeling this was going to be bad.

The man looked from Daryl to Carl making sure they understood they were both playing whether they liked it or not. 

“Ready? Good. Negan says stand the fuck up.” 

Carl climbed to his feet right away, but Daryl took a little bit longer with his injuries but apparently Negan expected that. 

“Negan says walk toward each other.” 

Once the two friends were standing side by side, Negan grinned. “Both of you take your clothes off.” 

Horror filled Carl's gut as he easily pieced together the possibilities of what might happen in this room. Daryl on the other hand didn't seem to be as effected by the order if anything to Carl's surprise he saw a tint of confusion spark into the man's gray blue eyes. 

Negan chuckled, mockingly taking their moment of surprise as part of the game. “Good… now...” 

_'Oh please don't say it…'_ Carl begged silently. 

The gun trained on Carl next, and the boy swallowed nervously. “Negan says Carl, take Daryl's fucking clothes off.” 

He had started to shake, mind only telling him what he feared the man was going to so say, his ears playing tricks on him. Seeming to think that Negan told him to take his own clothes off, Carl reached down to the hem of his own shirt, and Daryl fearful for his friend's safety quickly grabbed his wrist to correct him, pulling his hands towards his vest.

Carl took a moment to register the action and once he did, he looked into Daryl's face and he felt sick when he saw the naivety and complete innocence that displayed in the older man's eyes. 

“'s okay kid, go 'head. I ain't gonna bite ya.” the redneck reassured. 

Negan eyed the exchange and oh boy was he pleased by what he was witnessing. He threw his head back and laughed, ignoring the glare the boy gave him. 

_'This is perfect, for such a hard ass he's not very bright. He doesn't even get what the hell this fucking means.'_

He found it so fucking hilarious that he had to take a moment to wipe tears from his eyes once he was done laughing. 

Seeing the boy still hadn't moved, he cocked the hammer, eyes turning hard. “Kid, did I mother fucking stutter?”

Carl swallowed nervously and started to take Daryl's clothes off with trembling hands, he was trying to move slow so that he wouldn't cause the man any pain, he was still badly wounded from his injuries from a few weeks ago.

Another shot rang out, and Carl jumped in shock as a bullet struck the floor right by his foot, and bounced a couple times til it hit the wall and clanked to the floor. 

“Do not make me repeat myself. Negan says hurry the fuck up!” 

Carl yanked Daryl's vest off and tossed it to the floor, then quickly started to undo the buttons on his shirt. 

Negan sat down on a table that was located in the room to watch silently. 

After Carl finished the buttons he tried to rip the fabric off Daryl's shoulders but jumped in when the redneck yelped at the roughness, he felt awful.

“I-I'm so sorry...” he stuttered, dropping the shirt to the floor watching as the man grit his teeth and breathed deeply through his nose. 

He felt tears pricking at his eyes, sure he'd seen a lot of his friends in pain, and yeah he'd been forced to hurt people before, hell he shot and killed his own mother when she had been reanimated.

But Daryl… he certainly didn't deserve it. He'd been such a good friend to him and he held the utmost respect to the man. It broke his heart to know that he was causing the man pain, even if he had a gun trained on him. 

Daryl took a shaky breath and placed a hand on Carl's head, ruffling his hair before lowering his arm again. 

Carl looked at Negan pleadingly but the man simply raised an eyebrow and waved at him gun in hand. 

Biting his lip, Carl's shaking hands fumbled to undo Daryl's belt through his blurred vision, after a few seconds he freed the latch and started to take it off. 

Another bang made Carl flinch, realizing the bastard had fired his gun in the air again. 

He turned his gaze toward the man figuring he wanted him to stop. 

Negan lifted himself off the table and let out a dramatic sigh, aiming his gun directly at the youngest male in the room. 

“Jesus. You are so fucking slow. Negan says, Carl sit against the wall and you-” he paused training the gun on Daryl who glared viscously. “-you don't move or I'll cut the boy's other eye out.” 

Carl reluctantly did as he was told and walked back to the spot he had been in before, sitting down quietly. 

“That's better.” Negan said approaching Daryl gun still aimed at Carl. 

The man let out a high pitched whistle and both survivors looked to the door as it opened and Dwight walked in. 

“You need something sir?” he asked quietly, peering from Carl to Daryl then back at his leader.

Wordlessly, Negan put the safety on and tossed the gun in Dwight's direction. 

Dwight's eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected throw but quickly moved forward to catch the gun, letting out a breath when he succeeded. 

“Yes, I do. I want you to stand right over there next to the kid and keep that sweetheart ready to blow his brains out if he tries to help his friend here.” 

The man didn't ask questions, he just did as he was told turning the safety off and stopped when he was at least a few inches away from where Carl sat, turning his eyes to watch his leader curiously.

Daryl was glaring at Dwight with a fierce hatred, and Negan reached a hand up to his stubbled chin so he could turn his face back to him. 

His eyes were dancing with a sick twisted thing that intimidated the redneck a little, which of course made him angry. 

“You know, I almost feel sorry for what I'm about to do, but lessons must be learned.” the man spoke with mock sympathy, placing his hands on the top of Daryl's pants. 

Carl could see the gears moving in his friends head as he tried to piece together everything. 

_'Just from what Daryl told me about his past and childhood, he probably was brought up to believe that this sort of stuff can only happen to women. I mean his father sounded like a straight up full fledged redneck and just seeing how Merle behaved…. Oh Jesus… I can't watch this.'_

Negan stared into Daryl's eyes for several moments and finally Daryl got pissed off, and spat right in the man's face.

The young man's eyes widened two times their normal size, completely horrified by what just happened, out of the corner of his eye he saw that Dwight's eyes did the same.

Everything went still as Negan's body tensed. 

Carl could hear his heart beat thrumming through his ears as he counted the seconds. 

One… two… three…. Four… five…. Six….

Negan leaned back a little and took a moment to wipe the saliva off his face, he looked at Daryl and smiled chuckling softly to himself.

That's when it happened, all at once Negan slammed his fist into Daryl's face making the redneck stumble back momentarily before regaining his footing and throwing a punch of his own landing a direct hook to Negan's jaw knocking a tooth clean out of the man's face and blood came gushing out of the man's nose.

When Negan turned his face back to the other man, Carl could see the sheer bloodlust in them. 

A total fistfight broke out and a fight the young man knew the redneck would normally win, was a pitiful excuse of rebellion. It didn't take long for the son bitch to pin Daryl to the floor. 

“Mo'fucker! Ge' the hell offa me!” Daryl spat as he squirmed beneath the man's hold. 

A maelstrom of brutal blows rained down upon his body and though he tried to remain quiet through it, several yelps or hollers escaped his mouth hear and there. Along with some curses of course. 

Negan didn't stop even after the curses vanished and all he got was guttural responses. No he didn't, he didn't stop until he could see the bruises actually forming on the man's face through all the blood that now covered it. By the end he was breathing hard from the vigorous workout. 

When he was done he pulled his knife off his belt and slammed it into Daryl's still healing wound, stitches broke and blood started to pour free. 

The howl of pain Daryl let out was accompanied by angered shouting. “You sick fuck!!” 

He rose to his feet and spat the blood that had filled his own mouth into Daryl's hair, some of it dribbling down his forehead. Wiping his mouth, he turned his eyes turned to Carl who was trying to look away from the horrific sight in front of him, 

Glaring angrily, Negan snapped his fingers at Dwight getting his attention then he pointed at Carl and spoke in a dangerous voice. 

“This game is still going and Negan says, you will watch this, or I will kill him and then I will kill you.”

Dwight got the point and placed his gun to the side of Carl's head, his own stomach was doing cartwheels, oh hell this wasn't going to be pretty. He actually was staring to pray for his rival. 

Negan flipped Daryl over with a rough kick to the ribs earning another curse from the man as he knelt behind him. He let out an impressed whistle when he saw the scars from years of abuse at the hands of his own father. “Well, looks like someone's already done a number on you in the past. Who the fuck did you piss off?” 

“I hate you.” Daryl spat venomously. 

“Good, that's what I like to hear. You are going to wish you had listened to me, hell you are going to be begging me to show you mercy.” he snarled and with one motion yanked Daryl's pants and boxers down.

Everything went silent, and Carl could see the horror and realization that sparked in Daryl's eyes as he finally understood now what the man intended to do.

The bastard seemed to notice too just by how the redneck's body tensed beneath him. 

“What's the matter? I did tell the boy to take off your clothes, what you thought I just meant pants and shirt?” 

Daryl refused to respond so Negan decided to push a little bit by running his calloused hands down the man's scarred back, going lower, lower, until he reached the top of his ass. 

When the redneck jerked violently, the man started to laugh. “You're a virgin aren't you? You are you're totally a fucking virgin! This is great!”

“Please stop, don't do this to him!” Carl shouted before he could stop himself, he could feel hot tears running down his face.

Dwight, gave Carl a harsh pistol whip to the temple and Daryl seethed with rage when he heard the boy yelp in pain. 

“Hey-” he started to protest but his angered words were cut off as Negan shoved the thick hilt of his knife past his lips and into his mouth. 

He was shocked by the action, more so when the asshole continued to shove the object down his throat and he suddenly found it hard to breath, panicking he immediately started to struggle violently but Negan grabbed a handful of dark locks and pulled his head back until he could him in the eyes. 

“Negan says, shut the fuck up or he's going to flip this motherfucking thing around way and you'll never be able to speak again. Breath through your nose you ignorant hick.” 

Daryl's blue gray eyes had lost most of their defiance now, not all of it but damn well most of it. 

“Do you understand?”

Apparently even with a knife crammed into his mouth, he was still expecting a response because when he didn't get anything he pushed the knife further down his throat all the way to the hilt and the base of the sharp blade started to cut into his mouth.

“I said do you fucking understand me!?”

Daryl whined, eyes wide in absolute horror and tilted his head to offer a brief nod.

Satisfied, Negan let go of Daryl's hair but carefully guided his head safely onto the floor. He didn't need the redneck to accidentally kill himself by ramming the knife clear down his throat, blade and all. 

_'That would be hard to fix… and unfortunate.'_ he mused quietly. 

Daryl felt the man part his legs and a belt being undone, an overwhelming feeling of fear was starting to drive him mad. 

He couldn't let this happen. 

But Carl.

He had to protect Carl.

What would his father say if he were still alive?

What would Merle say?

Oh god what would Rick and everyone else think if they found out?

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt something hard prodding against his asshole and he started to panic. A strangled cry that was mostly muffled by the weapon shoved cruelly down his throat escaped him and he tried to renew his struggles. 

Having heard his fussing, the older man looked down at him appearing to be in thought. “I suppose since it's your first time I could be nice to you. Prep you like a fucking girl.” he spoke with a roll of his eyes. 

Negan reached into the back of his jeans and pulled out a screwdriver that he had used earlier in the day when he had been helping with some repairs. 

It wasn't a very big screwdriver, in fact it was more like one of those hand held office screwdrivers used for fixing electronics. 

Staring at it for a few moments debating on whether he thought it could even help stretch the man at all, he finally shrugged his shoulders. “Oh well, it's the best I can do right now.”

He parted the redneck's thighs as far as he could then used his knees to pin them down so he couldn't try to lock up on him. 

Daryl seemed to quickly understand what was coming and his wild eyes looked desperately towards his friend across the room.

Carl's face was covered in tears of anguish upon knowing there was nothing he could do and the fact that he had to watch it all happen. 

It broke his heart to see Daryl so scared, it wasn't natural. The emotional distress was worse than the way the redneck continued to try to crawl forward and get away, leg's straining as he tried to get out from underneath his captor. 

Negan watched him for a moment, amusement shone in his eyes as he just held the position. Eventually Dixon realized he couldn't get free, but even so he still continued to fight but this time a choked muffled sob finally emitted from the man. 

Oh despair was so lovely. 

Time to make it even worse.

He put the handle of the screwdriver into his own mouth briefly to get it coated in saliva until he was satisfied. Afterward he placed a gentle hand against the man's left side leaned down while the other positioned the handle of the screwdriver against his entrance. 

“Nngh!” Daryl cried hysterically behind the makeshift gag, Negan could feel his body shutter beneath him. 

He started to push the screwdriver into the man's body and that was when the begging started as hysteria flooded from the dam. 

“Shhh… it's alright.” he soothed softly placing a gentle kiss between Daryl's shoulder blades, drawing forth another strangled sob. 

Without any warning, Negan rammed the hilt of the screwdriver into the other man's body. 

Daryl wailed in agony, and Negan could see the strong back muscles flexing as he tried force himself out from underneath him, futile attempts to throw him off. 

He let go of the screwdriver and leaned over the naked body below him. He reached around front to place his left hand against the side of Dixon's face stroking it affectionately before he started to stroke the man's sides up and down, an attempt to sooth him.

“Shhh… now. I just want you to know that it didn't need to be like this. I don't want to hurt you Daryl. Fuck, I don't want to hurt any of your people. I just want you to listen and do as your told, and you will. Yeah you will because if you don't I will make you, by any means necessary.” he stareted planting soft kisses over various parts of the redneck's body. Shoulders, neck, back, all of it made the other man tremble with fear.

Negan's hand returned to the screwdriver, he moved it in and out a couple times before he got bored and decided to get on with it, removing the tool from Daryl's hole only to push something much larger and harder up against the man's body. 

“Nngh… nngh...” Daryl sobbed desperately, and then an ear splitting scream filled the room. 

**~ End Flashback ~**

That was almost coming on three weeks ago, but ever since the incident Daryl hadn't been the same. 

He was extremely fearful of Negan and his men after that.

Touch that was one thing that was difficult now, the redneck had never been a touchy feely person to begin with but now if anyone tried to touch him it wasn't good. 

Not only that but the reaction could be extremely unpredictable, most of the time there were two scenarios that could play out. 

One being the man would try to bolt clear to the other side of the room. 

Two being a hostile and often violent response that was more than just terrifying. 

It seemed like men had the more negative effect for a negative response, when Honey would come check on them he seemed moderately on guard but not panicked. 

Hell it took a while for Daryl to actually let him touch him, try to look at his wounds, and comfort him. So far he was able to pick up patterns to theorize what might happen if he were to approach by his friend's mood. 

Still it was just not right. All of it was just not right at all. 

Carl's eyes wandered Daryl's shirtless body, scanning the dark bruises and the healing wound upon his chest. Running over old scars. 

Tears welled up in Carl's eyes as the thoughts ran through his head, his heart hurt for his friend and he wanted more than anything to just fix all of this, but he couldn't do shit.

The only thing they could do was wait… and maybe pray.


	3. Chapter 3

Michonne felt her heart throb painfully as Rick stepped off the porch, he looked like hell, dark circles had formed beneath his bloodshot eyes. 

It had been several weeks since they buried Glenn. Several weeks since Rick had Carl ripped from his grasp by the saviors when Negan decided to take a hostage. Then of course the man made it hostages, upon deciding to take Daryl with him. 

Rick had been a nervous wreck ever since then, she personally found it stunning that the man had been able to keep such a cool head when Negan's men showed up for the demanded supplies. 

She set the rag she had been using to clean her blade down and quietly approached her boyfriend. 

It didn't take the man long to spot her and he stood there waiting silently until she reached him, oh he looked awful. 

“You look tired.” she commented and rest a hand on his cheek. 

“Just one more week.” his voice croaked nervously. 

Michonne just nodded in response, “Yes, we have everything ready for them already, just try to relax.” 

**~ XXX~**

Carl jerked forward with a gasp when he was awoken to the sound of Daryl's panicked voice. 

Finding his friend not curled up by his side the young man let his eyes scan the dark room.

He spotted the redneck in the corner of the room, kneels drawn to his chest and his hands tugging at his hair as he murmured to himself.

“Daryl?” he asked, keeping his voice low. It was the middle of the night, that much he was aware of and he honestly didn't want to wake their captors and have a pissed off Negan come storming in here.

The man showed no reaction of having heard him so Carl pushed himself up off the ground to try to console his friend. 

As he got closer he was able to make out that the redneck was having a conversation with himself, he stood still and listened for a moment, not quite sure what to do.

“Yer a disgusting faggot Daryl.” 

“No m'not! I ain't no faggot Merle I didn't like that shit it… it hurt...” 

“Whatever. Pa was right yer a worthless piece of shit Darylina. No one will ever want y'ass now. Not with your ole Merle gone now, no one will ever care about you. Ya ain't got no family boy.” 

A strangled sob escaped Daryl's throat and his breath picked up, “No, I-I have family...”

“They ain't gonna want ya now, are they?” 

Carl couldn't take it anymore, interrupting Daryl's conversation with…. Merle…. he spoke. “Yes we do.” 

Daryl jumped so violently he almost smashed his head against the stone wall, he pressed himself against the stone staring at the young boy with eyes that reminded Carl of a scared doe. 

“Get 'way.” he pleaded with a trembling voice. 

“Daryl it's just me. It's Carl.” he spoke, outstretching a hand toward his friend. 

The other man let out a growl, and Carl didn't have time to react before a fist slammed into his face and he cried out in pain.

For Carl to say he was shocked was an understatement, especially when he suddenly found himself pinned down by the older man who started throwing punches right off the bat. 

_'Oh shit!'_ Carl's mind screamed as he instinctively raised his arms to shield his head. 

“Daryl!” he shrieked trying to get the man's attention desperately. 

“You fucking asshole, I'mma kill your ass! Don't you EVER touch me like that 'gain! I ain't no two cent whore I will han' feed you to a mo'fucking walker on a leash! ” Daryl roared, continuing to rain punches down upon the young boy's body. 

“Daryl stop! Daryl! Arrgh! Stop it's Carl! ah-shit!! Daryl!” 

Hands wrapped around his throat and Carl's eyes widened in horror, he needed to get his attention and fast. 

Before he could do anything, the door slammed open and Daryl bolted backwards startled from the abrupt bang the heavy steel made when it struck the wall.

Carl saw a flashlight being shined in the room and a person walked in, moving the light around until they found them. 

He was still trying to catch his breath and get his head to stop spinning, he wanted to know who it was that had heard the noise, praying to god it wasn't who he feared it was. 

The person walked to the table and Carl heard a squeaking sound and soon a light from a desk lantern illuminated the room. 

Carl saw Daryl's eyes widen in absolute horror and he went back to the corner where he had been when Carl woke. 

_'Oh no.'_

An irritated huff broke the silence and sure enough Negan walked into Carl's line of view from where he lay trying to recover from Daryl's outburst.  
“What in fuck's name are you screaming-” Negan seemed to trail off as he caught sight of his face, and when Carl raised a hand to his mouth he found crimson staining his hand. 

To Carl's surprise he actually saw a bit of guilt or remorse or something odd in the man's eyes but it was immediately replaced by anger more frightening than anything he'd seen before.

Negan stormed up and grabbed a fistful of hair, hoisting him up off the floor by his hair. He cried out in pain and raised his hands to try to pry the man's hand away. 

“Do you have any idea what fucking time it is?! You're what, fucking twelve? I was getting in fistfights when I was your age! Are you seriously telling me that you woke me the fuck up because you got into a motherfucking fistfight with the damn hick?!”

Negan's eyes narrowed in anger when hands clawed at his wrist, he was too tired to deal with this shit right now. 

He pulled the boy higher until his face was right in front of his own. “You look at me you little shit.”

Carl grit his teeth taking deep breaths through his nose trying to will himself not to cry out as his hair was slowly being pulled from his scalp, he just held onto Negan's wrist tightly, doing anything to release the agonizing pull. 

“I am going back to bed, and if I have to come out here again… yeah, you are going to be so sorry that you'll be licking the gristle off my fucking boots. Do I make myself clear.” 

The boy couldn't hold back the pained hiss when Negan tightened his hold, but he did respond. “Yes, I understand. I'm sorry, I-I just startled him.” 

“Well with your ugly fucking mug, I don't blame him for being scared.” the adult grumbled releasing the young man from his tight grip where he slumped onto the floor rubbing his head.

Without another word, Negan walked to the table and turned the lantern off. He shone his flashlight to the corner and sent a glare at Daryl who was still huddled as far away from him as possible. 

He pointed at the trembling man, and spoke in a voice that left room for no arguments, 

“You better be thankful that I am not awake enough to do what I normally would like to do right now. You're off so easy, so you better mother fucking behave yourself. If I have to come in here again, you will not like the shit pit you drag yourself into.” 

With that Negan left the room, taking the light source with him and Carl had to wait a few moments to let his eye adjust to the dark again before he moved back to the makeshift bed which was basically the same wool blanket that had kept Daryl from freezing to death when he lost all that blood, and his own coat.

He eyed Daryl for a few moments, hoping the man would calm down and come back over to him, but instead he seemed to go back into conversing with himself.

Sympathetic but still a little frustrated along with feelings hurt, Carl rolled over to face the wall, pulling the blanket over his body. 

This wasn't good, this wasn't looking good in any way, especially for Daryl. He hoped that the man would be able to recover but he wasn't sure, this was just so overwhelming for himself to deal with. He wasn't exactly good with this sort of thing, that was his dad…. Sometimes. 

He must have fallen asleep at some point because when he felt something warm and wet drip onto his cheek a shocked gasp escaped him and he rolled back over quickly sitting up so he could get himself on guard. 

It had to be Daryl, normally because any Savior would bring a light with them. He just stared at the man who stared back and the more Carl let his eye adjust the more uneasy he became with the silence. 

There sat Daryl, tears running down his dirty bruised cheeks and by the way his adam's apple bobbed Carl could see he was trying to hold back his emotion, he was failing fast though.

After a couple minutes that seemed like hours to the younger man, Daryl's hoarse voice finally broke the silence. 

“I-I'm…. m'sorry Carl. I-I didn't mean to-” 

Carl felt tears welling up in his own eyes just from the brokenness in Daryl's voice. “It's alright Daryl, you had every right to be scared.”

Two muscled arms suddenly wound their way around his body into a tight embrace, and Carl felt Daryl's body tremble with emotion when he felt him instinctively tense in his hold at first.

“Ain't no excuse… I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry little buddy.” 

Carl returned the embrace when the man started to sob against him quietly, “No Daryl, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't try to stop that son of a bitch from doing what he did to you.” 

The redneck's lip trembled and he collapsed against the front of Carl's smaller chest proceeding to break down into a mess of hysterical tears and sobs. 

After several moments of letting the man cry it all out, Daryl seemed to calm a bit and eventually he fell asleep much to Carl's relief, he was sure the man hadn't slept more than an hour within the past three days. 

_'Just hold it together as best as you can Carl, just gotta make it home. Just gotta get him home.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, but man am I on a fucking roll lately. And now I'm trying to count the swears. Because I'm so used to having Negan swear that sometimes I'll time 'fuck' 'fucking' or whatever without even realising it. Then the backspace is my favorite key for a while. LOL
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this! The next chapter is gonna turn dark very, very fast.


	4. Chapter 4

**~ Dream / Memory ~**

_He was late, shit he wish he had just come home instead of going out with Jerry to go fishing. He knew he wasn't supposed to be out this late._

_With Merle having been taken to jail a couple days ago, his ol' pa had been extremely ornery, drinking like there was no tomorrow in fact._

_The sixteen year old just prayed that maybe the man was already in bed as he opened the old porch door as quietly as he could._

_He took a deep breath as he stepped onto the wooden floorboards, being careful on his toes as he turned around to shut the door behind him with just as much care as he had used to open it in the first place._

_When the latch closed he stood against the door, closing his eyes as he listened intently. His pa may be a drunken son of a bitch, but he wouldn't fuck around if he thought someone was breaking into his house._

_Merle learned that the hard way once when their pa shot him when he was trying to sneak back into the house._

_Hearing no response, a relieved sigh escaped him as he let go of the knob._

_'Thank god' he thought quietly._

_His victory was short lived, because before the young man could even turn around a strong arm wrapped around his middle pinning his arms to his sides._

_Startled at the unexpected invasion of his personal space, and the possibility that he and his pa weren't alone in the house he started to call out._

_He only managed a few words before a large hand clamped over his mouth, the same hand forcing his head to look straight up and he was met with his father's furious eyes._

_Daryl went absolutely still, his blood turning to ice. He knew fighting his father would make him angrier and the angrier he was, the meaner and more violent he was._

_Satisfied with the boy's submission, Will Dixon picked his son off his feet barring him against his chest with one strong arm keeping his other hand clamped tightly over his mouth._

_Daryl didn't dare move as his father effortlessly carried him like a helpless child, even though in truth that's exactly what he felt like._

_“Yer in a world of trouble y'worthless brat.” his pa hissed coldly as he made his way down the halls to his bedroom._

'Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck!' 

_Will kicked his son's bedroom door open making the boy in his arms flinch at the noise, frankly he didn't give two shits, he was absolutely infuriated._

_He threw Daryl and not by any means gently, onto the hardwood surface in the room._

_A shout of pain escaped the younger man, fire shot through his left side where he had landed._

_Daryl flipped over onto his back, he'd rather be facing the man while he beat him as opposed to the other way around._

_“I ain't given ya permission to look at me boy!” his father growled as he straddled his son's hips, to pin him down._

_When Will drew back his fist to throw a punch his son immediately raised his hands to try to protect his head._

_This only seemed to make his father more angry as he grabbed his left arm in a tight hold, flipping him over onto his stomach as he kept his grip on it tight._

_A audible sickening pop emitted from his shoulder and Daryl's body tensed as white flashed across his entire vision._

_He sat there in shock for a couple seconds before his body was able to register the pain and he let out an agonized wail as he struggled to get out from underneath his father's body._

_Will glared hatefully at the younger man and clamped his hand over his mouth again, “I expect you to lay here and shut the fuck up. Take it like a mo'fuckin' man not a pussy, if I so much as see you move that other arm, I'll pull it outta yer shoulder too, then ya'll really be fucked.”_

_Daryl trembled beneath his father's rage, oh god his father was quite frequently the demon within his nightmares._

_“Did I make m'self clear Daryl?” Will snarled removing his hand from his son's face._

_“Y-Yes sir.” Daryl replied trying to keep his voice from wavering in the process._

**~ Dream / Memory ~**

A voice calling his name and someone shaking his shoulder, thankfully woke him from his slumber. 

Panting he looked up and saw Carl sitting there looking worried, “Are you okay man?”

Carl immediately mentally berated himself, what kind of question was that? Of course the redneck wasn't okay. 

He'd been mortally wounded, healed a bit, beaten to a pulp til his wounds opened again and raped, and was now an emotional wreck. Of course he wasn't okay!

Daryl took a deep breath and nodded, sitting up against the wall with a wince. “Yeah.” 

The two sat in silence for a moment until Carl couldn't help his curiosity and spoke. 

“Daryl, who's Jess?” 

Surprised eyes shot to the younger man, “What?”

“You… were talking in your sleep. You were talking to Merle, and someone named Jess, asking for help, someone was hurting you.” 

Daryl looked down, “Oh.” 

Carl got the hint, he had a feeling it was private so he just smiled and placed his hand on his friend's shoulder.

“It's fine, you don't have to tell me-”

“My uncle Jess, ol' Pa's half-brother. He helped take care of us after mom was gone.” 

Daryl started to fidget and the younger man went silent as he took a seat beside him. “You don't talk about your past much. I think we talked about it once, I know your father was abusive.” 

“Yeah… hard to talk 'bout. It wasn' always bad, but it ain't ever been pretty either… to this day pa's mostly what haunts my sleep.” 

“Jus' saw him actually.” Daryl continued.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

The older man looked down thoughtfully, before letting out a sigh. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea.

“Should probably tell you what led to it all.” he said scratching his head for a moment.

“Before our mom died it was actually pretty nice, though mom was an alcoholic our pa, he was actually a pretty good dad. Ole Merle, he had started to become what pa considered a rebel, always goin' out to party and stuff…” 

Daryl paused, and glanced at Carl with a cheeky smile. “… thangs.” 

_'Oh man, that was perfect!'_

The two shared a laugh for a moment at Daryl's Rick joke, before quieting down.

“Nice one.” 

“Had to.”

The older man took a second before he continued, “That was why Pa blamed Merle for mom's death, even though it ain't even his fault. Ma fell asleep with a cigarette, I think I told you about that part.”

Carl nodded in response, “You did.” 

“Few weeks after, I walk into the house and hear Merle screaming from the kitchen. When I'd looked into the room I saw pa standing over him beatin' the holy hell outta dat boy. They didn' see me and 'was too afraid to do anythin' so I ran up the stairs and hid in my room.”

“Went on like that for months, til Merle wen' to the juvenile detention place. At first, the whole house was just quiet and tense for days, then pa snapped. One day I accidentally broke one of mom's dinner plates after I'd done the dishes. The ole' man went ballistic, grabbed his riffle and beat me black an' blue with it til I passed out.”

“After that… he'd started takin' in his booze. Was drunk all the time, and if he was angry or sad, he'd call me to him and take it out on me. Sometimes he'd use his belt, other times his rifle, sometimes his hunting knife, or there were the times he'd just do it the old fashioned way. Once every two weeks turned into, twice a week, and then twice a day, then once a day if I was lucky. I learned how to counter the beatings by trying to stay on his good side, just do as I was told, not fight if he did try to hurt me.”

The redneck felt tears burning in his eyes at the memories, reminders of how weak he used to be.

**~ Flashback ~**

_Daryl let out a wince of pain as he moved the trash bin into the living room and started to toss empty beer bottles into it._

_God he was so sore from this morning! He and his dad got into a scuffle about what time he wanted dinner to be ready when he got back tonight._

_He knew his dad was gonna come home drunk tonight, so he was hoping that maybe if he cleaned the whole house before he started supper around seven, maybe he could avoid getting the snot beat out of him._

_A knock on the door snapped him out of his thoughts, it couldn't be his dad his dad would just barge right in, it was his house after all._

_With a bit of caution he approached the door he prayed it wasn't some sales person again._

_When he did finally open the door however, he was absolutely stunned to see the smiling face of his uncle as he stood at the door with his army bag slung over his shoulder._

_Jess opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out instead he just eyed the young man in front of him._

_Was that Daryl?_

_The boy had gotten considerably taller but he expected that, what he didn't expect was the black eye, ugly dark bruises that covered his body accompanied by cuts since healed, healing, and some that were so fresh he could see dried blood where they had recently scabbed over._

_“Uncle Jess?”_

_“Daryl? Good lord boy, what happened to you?” he asked, setting his bag down to inspect Daryl's wounded eye._

_He was shocked when the boy flinched away from him, “Got mauled by a bear.”_

_Jess paused, concern filling his eyes. He had a feeling that wasn't true, but he'd go along for now and forced a grin. “Lucky bastard, good thing it didn't kill you!”_

_Daryl was silent, and an awkward tension filled the air._

_“Ain't you gonna lemme in? I haven't seen you guys in a few years!”_

_The younger man quickly stepped out of the way, “Oh right, sorry.”_

_As his uncle entered the house, Daryl returned to throwing bottles away but he could feel his uncle's eyes watching him._

_“So how have you been boy? Why so quiet?”_

_“Sorry, I'm just tired. It's good to see you again Jess. Are you on leave or-”_

_Jess laughed, “Nope, honorably discharged! Now I can come back and bother you folks for a while.”_

_Daryl nodded and went back to work, and Jess looked about the house._

_It was a mess. Dust everywhere, scratches on furniture, smelled of tobacco, and Christ that was a lot of booze._

_“Where is everyone?”_

_“Pa left about an hour ago, I'm just cleaning the place up for him”_

_His uncle quirked an eyebrow, what about his mother and brother?_

_“Where's Merle and ya'll sweetheart of a mother?”_

_Daryl tensed and Jess knew something was wrong, “Daryl?”_

_“Ole Merle's in juvenile detention.”_

_Jess's eyes widened for a moment, but then he laughed. “That boy always did have a mean streak at times. What about Kassidy?”_

_Daryl looked at him with pained eyes, “Didn't… didn't you know?”_

_That look, this wasn't good. What the hell had happened?_

_“Know what son?”_

_“The fire… uncle Jess my mom's dead.”_

_The older man's mouth dropped open in shock as he collapsed into a chair._

_Dead? What? Kassidy had died and his brother hadn't told him?_

_What was going on here?!_

_An awful feeling started to form in Jess' gut as he looked around the house again, beer, vodka, moonshine, bottles everywhere._

_He looked back to Daryl who's eyes widened in surprise and Jess could see a bit of guilt trying to blend in with it, he as if he were caught trying to hide something._

'Oh my god. Will what have you done?' 

_“That weren't no animal was it son?”_

_Daryl's eyes filled with tears and he collapsed to his knees burying his face in his hands._

_Jesse stood up from his spot in the recliner and knelt down next to the younger man, his heart burned for his nephew. How could his brother turn in to something like this?_

_“Shh, come here sweet boy.” he shushed softly pulling his nephew into an embrace which was returned after a few moments when Daryl just broke down into a mess of tears and mournful sobs._

_“S-She fell 'sleep with one lit… it… it… was accident… b-but Pa…. he.. h-he blamed Merle an' h-he left s-so he… he takes it out on me now. H-He's just sad s'all..”_

**~ End Flashback ~**

“Uncle Jess got out of the military a couple months after Merle went to jail, he didn' know what was goin' on in the house or about my brother yet. Hell I don' he knew about mom yet. The first day he got back he came straight to the house, he was so excited to see us again.”

“Pa had left the house an hour before, more than likely to the pub. I was cleanin' hoping to please pa with a clean house so that maybe he wouldn't be angry when he came home. I remember hearin' a knock on the door and felt sick as I answered it 'cause I'd looked like I gotten mauled by a bear. When I saw Uncle Jess standin' there all smiley I felt sick, when he got a look at me all bruises, cuts, an' black eye, his smile fell and he asked me what happened.” 

Carl nodded quietly, “You didn't tell him?” 

Daryl shook his head.

“No, but he figured it out. I thought that saying I got mauled by an animal was a good idea, so that's exactly what I said. He seemed to buy it and asked if he could come in, normally I'd deny anyone coming in fear Pa would get angry, but Uncle Jess was family, so I let him in. He asked where everyone was at and I told him that pa had left an hour ago. Jess, he caught sight of all booze and he asked me where Merle and my mom was at so I told him Merle was in jail. He asked again about mom and I told him about her dying.” 

“He hadn't known?” 

“Nope. Pa never contacted him. After that he was able to piece the drinking and my injuries together. He comforted me about it, tol' me it wasn' my fault. From then on he'd come check on me and Merle too if he was ever there, make sure Pa wasn't beatin' on us. It still happened, a lot but sometimes Jess could intervene if he was there.” 

The younger man nodded finally getting it. “He was kind of a safety net then?” 

“In a way. He was tough as steel but he could be one of the most gentle people I knew. Had to kill him myself when he turned.” 

“I'm sorry man.” 

“It's alright little buddy, ain't anyone's fault.” he said with a yawn. 

“Back to bed?” Carl suggested.

“Back to bed.” 

**~ XXX ~**

The next morning Daryl awoke to the sound of shouting and he let his eyes quickly check his surroundings. 

Carl wasn't beside him? Was he yelling? Did he make him mad?

“What the hell is wrong with you? What more do you want from us!?”

His friend was on his feet standing a few meters in front of him, and the redneck could now spot Negan standing in the doorway, Dwight behind him still standing behind his leader waiting for him to enter so he could step inside the room too.

Mirth danced within Negan's eyes as he spotted Daryl's waking figure, and the redneck felt a shiver run up his spine upon catching sight of the sick fuck who'd taken then captive and apparently killed Glenn in cold blood, and much much more… panic filled Daryl's mind and the urge to run and hide was trying to send his senses into overdrive, but he continued to watch silently. 

Carl's body was shaking, whether out of fear or anger Daryl didn't quit no, but when the boy took a step forward towards the man hands balled up into fists at his sides, he guessed it was anger.

“My dad's getting things together! Can you seriously not wait like a civilized person for one more week!”

Negan's eyes had turned angry and with one movement he slammed the door behind him with such force it echoed through the room.

Dwight had been following the man like the obedient puppy that he was, in fact he was following a bit too closely and when Negan stepped into the room and slammed the door shut, it smashed right into the man's face and Negan could hear the shout of pain and a crash as his minion fell back into the hall.  
“Son of a bitch!” came the whine in the hallway.

Negan let out a huff, placing a hand against his forehead in a a face palm for a moment. 

My god everyone around him seemed like they were absolute morons. 

He turned back to the boy and his angry eyes flashed viciously and his voice had raised to a furious yell.

“Do not talk to me about fucking civilized people you little shit!” 

Carl froze when the man's voice raised, he'd learned by now that when Negan's voice raised even a couple octaves above his normal playful tone, it meant bad news. 

Daryl however whilst Carl had froze, fear had taken hold of the redneck he had gotten to his hands and knees and was now silently trying to crawl over underneath the table on the other side of the room.

Negan approached the young man who was frozen on spot and knocked him to the ground with a brutal punch to the temple.

“You think you're crew is all high and fucking mighty with a good cause? What kind of civilized people kill ten men in cold blood?!” 

Carl recomposed himself, turning on his back to glare up at the older man. 

“People who were trying to defend themselves! Trying to survive!”

Negan straddled the boy's hips, pulling out a knife and grabbed a handful of his hair. “What in hell's god damn name do you think we're trying to fucking do, have a motherfucking tea party? Survivin' is the only thing anyone can do in this piece of shit world these days!” 

Daryl was torn at what to do, he was so damn afraid of this man, but he didn't want Carl to get hurt. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself… he already beat the shit outta the boy last night and holy hell did he feel horrible about that. 

What could he do to get Negan's attention though? 

An idea popped into his mind, his eyes widened in horror, and he quickly shook it out of his head.

Carl continued to glare up at the fucker and Negan sneered pulling tight on his hair to hold his head still, “Well let's see how you can fucking survive after this!” 

With one movement, Negan swiped the blade diagonally at the boy's left eye.

“It was me!” 

Negan's hand stopped short, much to Carl's relief but horror filled his eyes at Daryl's words. 

The man turned to look at the redneck across the room. “What?” 

“I-I had the RPG… I killed yer men.” 

What happened next…. was something Carl would never ever be able to forget. 

Negan's eyes filled with a rage the boy had never seen n anyone's eyes, he yanked off his belt and used it to bind Carl's hands to an old water pipe on the wall.

“Wait! Wait don't!” Carl yelled desperately over his shoulder when he saw Negan stomped towards Daryl who tried to back up against the wall the table was up against. 

When he got there, he knelt and grabbed the redneck by the ankle dragging him out from underneath the table despite Daryl's pleas. 

A hand grabbed him around the throat and slammed his head into the floor, Negan climbed on top of him straddling his hips to keep him in place.

“What the fuck did you just say?” his lips were twisted into a snarl only seen in horror movies. 

“I-I… I had the RPG…” 

Negan pulled out his pistol, and pressed it up against Daryl's still healing gunshot wound. 

“Guess what?” Negan hissed.

“No!” Carl's shout was drowned out by a deafening bang and Daryl's howl of pain. 

The man grabbed a fistful of Daryl's hair, pulling his face close to his own.

He admired the tears that ran down the redneck's face, he even licked one off his cheek so he could savor the terrified pleas that immediately erupted from the man.

“You better hope that your friends have everything ready, because we're leaving a week early I'm going to show them what happens to people who piss me off.”

“Please don't do this...” Carl sobbed across the room.

“Oh stop your blubbering, I'm not gonna kill this fucker. I'm a fair man, and I told your crew that I would kill ONE of their men. If I had known it was this motherfucker I would have killed him, but since killing him isn't on the table, that doesn't mean that breaking him isn't... and right now, I'm going to break the fucking fuck outta this asshole.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't believe Daryl's mother's name was ever actually given, if it was tell me becasue I just made one up.
> 
> I was gonna have Daryl explain it all to Carl, but then I decided to just show it because I think that's just more fun and I hate long giant speech paragraphs and holy fuck was that a lot of long as speech bubbles.... so yeah.
> 
> PLEASE LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!! I'M SOOO EXCITED THAT YOU GUYS ARE LIKING THIS SO FAR LIKE HOLY SHIT FJKDVKNEWLGNB I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!


	5. Chapter 5

Carl tried to placed his hands over his ears, trying to drown out Daryl's screams of pain that echoed down the hallways from wherever the hell Negan had him taken.

To his irritation he found with his hands bound to this fucking pipe he couldn't move them far enough and he let out a frustrated shout as a few tears trickled down his face. 

It was unbearable, hearing his friends cries of pain and terror. He couldn't do shit about it.

The sick bastard separated them now, even though he begged for the man to not to he dragged Daryl kicking and screaming out the door.

What a fucking mess! He just prayed whatever Negan did he did it fast, if what the evil man said was true and they were now officially leaving back to Alexandria today, the sooner they were back home the sooner they could get Daryl the help he needed.

**~ XXX ~**

Negan watched as Dwight dodged a flailing leg while he and Simon wrestled the redneck face down against the cold metal surface of a table. 

It wasn't that hard now, with a hole having been blown open in his chest, blood was pouring all over the table surface though.

“No, no, no... oh lord please….” the man sobbed when two sets of handcuffs were fastened around his wrists each one to a different leg in the corner of the table. 

The irritating part being done the leader of the Saviors dismissed his charges and he was left alone with the terrified man.

Daryl jerked and pulled at the metal binding his hands until his wrists bled, and Negan let out a tired sigh as he ran a calloused hand over Daryl's shirtless back.

“Please, please…. don't...” 

“Don't? Boy, I'm going to do that and much fucking more.” he snarled, grabbing his knife off his belt. 

“Wait, wait-” the man cried only to have his pleads drawl out into a loud squeal as he dug the knife into his back making line, after line, after line upon the already gnarled raised flesh upon the redneck's body. 

By the time he was done the younger male no longer screamed but simply laid there and cried hysterically. 

“What? Now you give up? You piece of shit.” he sneered mockingly while he eyed the blood that was trickling down the other man's back, some of it dripping over his waist line while some seeped beneath his belt clinging to his body.

“Time to get fucking messy.” Negan growled, reaching around front to undo Daryl's fly.

Daryl's whole body started to tremble with emotion, “No… no… please… I'm sorry!” 

Negan yanked his pants down to pool around his ankles with two swift movements, “Damn right, fuck yeah you are.” 

The noise of a fly being unzipped was enough to make the younger man start to try to struggle again in a last futile attempt at escape. 

Rough hands grabbed his hips and a loud scream of sheer agony tore from his throat when the sick man embedded himself all the way to the hilt, his balls smacking against his skin with the force as he did so.

“You fucking better be because I'm going to make you want to march yourself into a herd of walkers by the time your sorry ass gets outta here.” 

Daryl dug his nails into the legs of the table, biting his lip to try to keep himself from crying out. Maybe he was like pa was, the more he screamed the longer it'd take. 

Negan snarled and grabbed a fistful of hair pulling his head back until his neck was arched painfully so he could speak in his ear. “Ten fucking men Dixon. Two of them son bitches had kids!”

He pulled out almost all the way before slamming back in with one rough roll of his hips, Daryl's eyes widened in shock from the initial pain and he bit down hard on his lip to keep silent.

“Oh you want to try to fucking hold out on me now Dixon? Well guess what? I have all fucking day, I'm fine with returning to Alexandria at nightfall. You motherfucking scream because I can do this til my legs fall off!!” 

The redneck's lip quivered, just when he thought the man couldn't get any sicker he is proven wrong.

A sharp pain in the back of his shoulder where Negan suddenly stabbed him made him crack and he didn't try to hold back his weakness anymore. He begged, he pleaded, even begged for the man to just kill him.

Negan placed a kiss on his neck, biting and sucking here and there. “I'm going to make sure they know what I did to you Dixon. That you're nothing but a used piece of fucking garbage.”

“I hear you've got some daddy issues.” 

Daryl's eyes hardened at that, “Screw you! Don' you bring my pa into this!” 

The older man slammed his face into the surface of the metal table with such force the sound of cartilage caving in echoed rang sharply within the room as the redneck's nose broke.

“Arrgh! You mo'fucker!” 

His face was slammed into the table again and Daryl felt the unmistakable feeling of a gun being placed to the base of his neck.

“Do you honestly think that I won't motherfucking kill you? You are in no fucking position to be pissing me off you god damned redneck son of a bitch. I would suggest that you shut your motherfucking mouth before you end up fucking dead. Or maybe I just have to take a stroll back down the hall and bring back that little fucker's eyeball to this room for you actually understand that I'm not playing around?”

All the while the man spoke he continued his assault on the other's body, pounding into him with savagely cruel thrusts of his hips, relishing in the small whines he got here and there.

Upon hearing the sick threat just given, Daryl opened his mouth to speak and Negan quickly shoved the barrel of his pistol inside before he could so much as utter a sound.

Negan slowed his pace for a moment, as he leaned back and took a deep breath trying to force himself to calm down his whole body was shaking with rage. After a moment he let out a tired sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose before sweeping a hand over his hair. He leaned down so he could speak into Daryl's ear, cocking the hammer for more effect. 

“And before you stupidly start spitting insults or any kind of dumbass threats you can think of. I would take a moment to actually think, because if I hear you speak against me one more fucking time I will shoot your mother fucking ass and continue this with the boy.” 

Daryl's eyes softened he knew the man was serious, a look of guilty defeat immediately replaced the defiance and anger that was in them a moment ago. 

When Negan saw the younger man's shoulders slump with defeat he pulled the gun from his mouth. “Smart idea.” 

**~ XXX ~**

When Carl saw light flood the room upon the wall he was facing horror and dread upon the multiple possibilities of what he might see filled every inch of his body.

He saw his own shadow on the wall, and his heart dropped when he saw that the figure who had entered the room was not accompanied by his wounded friend.

The person knelt behind him, he could hear the clank of keys and he tried to look over his shoulder.

It was Dwight, he had tissues stuffed up his nose much to Carl's amusement. 

“Time to go kid, Negan's already got the vehicle running.” 

Carl opened his mouth to inquire about Daryl but Dwight apparently already knew what he was gonna say.

“Negan's already got him in the van.”

Wait? Was that concern in the Savior's eyes? Guilt even?

After looking over his shoulder to make suer no one else was around Dwight spoke again, voice lowered to a cautious whisper. “If I were you, I wouldn't say a word to Negan until we actually leave Alexandria. Unless he speaks to you first… Dixon isn't in good shape, but Negan's pissed. He might kill him if you're not careful. So… do him a favor and just wait til you get home, yeah?” 

Carl swallowed a lump in his throat and nodded in understanding, Dwight was even disturbed by what Negan has done to his friend. 

**~ X X X ~**

When Dwight opened the back door of the vehicle for him to get in he felt like he was going to be sick. 

Daryl sat huddled in the back corner of the Savior's van, a blanket clung loosely around his body and he stared doe eyed at the sight of them.

“In.” Dwight spoke sharply getting his attention again.

Carl did as he was told and he stared awkwardly at Daryl he had a feeling this whole thing was going to end badly.

 **~ Alexandria ~**

Rick let out a sigh, it was just a little after nightfall and he knew his tired body wouldn't sleep tonight either.

He was so damn tired, but he didn't want to face Glenn's screams of mercy again as he had ever since his friend was murdered.

Poor Maggie, she hadn't been handling it well at all. She was an emotional wreck, Sasha has been trying to be there to comfort her, but god was she a mess. 

Morgan and Aaron were on watch tonight so he could 'spend some time to himself' but to hell with that he was about ready to just go up there and join them.

The ex-cop jumped momentarily when he felt gentle hands upon his shoulders but he relaxed when he heard Michonne's voice. “You should try to get some sleep.”

He could feel her running soothing circles into his tense muscles trying to loosen the knots. 

“I know.” he replied softly. 

“Rick… this was not your fault. You know that right?” 

Tears pricked at the man's eyes, “Yes it was. I underestimated Negan and-”

“We. We underestimated him, all of us did.”

A silence filled the room until the static of a walkie talkie broke it.

 _'Rick! Rick do you copy?!'_ that sounded like Aaron.

He grabbed the radio that had been on the side table beside him, “Copy. Is something wrong?” 

_'Negan's men are here!'_

The couple shared an uneasy glance before starting towards the door. “On my way.”

 **~ X X X ~**

Sure enough, when Rick got to the gate he saw his friends had already opened the gate and let them in.

The car was just sitting there, headlights blaring ahead brightly. No one had gotten out of it yet, and that made the man uneasy especially with the dark tinted windows he couldn't see who it was.

He jogged over to join Aaron and Morgan who just stood there uneasily with their rifles.

When the driver's door suddenly opened Rick was blown away when Negan himself stepped out.

“Hi Rick! I hope you don't mind us coming early.” the man chimed brightly. 

Rick had to take a moment to collect his words. “No… not at all.” 

“Shit, you caught on quick after last time huh?” the man chuckled. 

The ex-cop said nothing, just stood there staring and Negan chuckled. “What? You look like you've seen a fucking ghost.” 

Negan walked over to him stopping when they were literally within arms reach, placing his hands on his hips.

“I just... wasn't expecting to see you here yourself… please no offense.” Rick quickly apologized realizing that his words came out a little offensive. 

The other man let out a sigh and placed a gentle hand on the side of Rick's face, grinning when he flinched. “Shit, I ain't gonna beat the shit out of you for my fucking ego.” 

Rick swallowed nervously, “We have everything ready for you.” 

Negan gave an impressed whistle, “Well damn! Good man. I suppose I should keep my end of the bargain.” 

A light shot to Rick's eyes as they shifted to look at the vehicle, then quickly focused on the evil man again.

“Yeah. Stay right there.” he walked to the back of the van and opened the doors. 

“Alright boys let's go.” Negan ordered someone before poking his head around the vehicle to look at Rick. “I told you, I'm a man of my word. ” Negan reminded the Alexandria leader with a playful tone.

**~ X X X ~**

When the door's opened Carl felt sick, this is what he'd been looking forward to and dreading ever since they were taken captive.

Negan appeared and beckoned them forward, “Alright boys, let's go.” 

Dwight got up from his spot where he'd been sitting, keeping his gun trained on him he grabbed him by the back of his shirt and yanked him to his feet. 

“Come on kid.” 

Carl spared a glance at Daryl who was still trembling in the corner, he hadn't even been able to get close to the man, whatever Negan did this time really fucked the redneck up.

Dwight stepped out of the vehicle and turned around to grab him by the arm, yanking him out of the back. 

He marched him around the van til he was face to face with his dad. 

“Carl!” Rick cried about to run towards his son but Michonne put an arm in front of him to remind him to try to keep a hold on himself. 

Dwight looked over to Negan who shrugged telling him to let the boy go, so he did. 

Carl ran to his dad who wrapped him into a tight embrace and turned into a blubbering mess of sobs and 'thank god' and 'oh my god' 'I love you so much' 'are you okay' 'did he hurt you' and on and on. 

“Oh wait, that's right. There's one more.” Negan laughed as he turned back to the vehicle. 

Everyone watched anxiously as the man leaned into the back almost like he was waiting for something. 

“Well? Are you gonna come on out? Or am I gonna have to drag your stupid ass out?” 

Shuffling followed by a thud from the back of the van caught Rick's attention and Negan let out a dramatic sigh before climbing into the vehicle. 

The loud series of wails and screams that followed the action was enough to make Rick want to run forward, but he stood grounded. “Daryl?!” 

“Easy boy! See your friends want to see you.” Negan's voice could be heard from the vehicle, pretty soon Negan emerged dragging a very distraught Daryl out onto the ground, around the car and soon stopped right in front of them so that everyone could see.

Rick felt his heart drop into the pit of his stomach, Daryl looked like hell. He was stark naked and the only thing covering him was an old blanket that was draped around his shoulders and back, his trembling hands is what kept the fabric closed in the front in attempts to curtain himself into decency. 

He was pale as a ghost, cuts, blood, and dark ugly bruises all over his body, he sat there trembling with panicked blue-gray eyes darting between everyone a thousand miles an hour. 

“Oh my god… what did you do to him…?”

Negan's eyes hardened but he could still see the sick amusement in the man's eyes he was enjoying seeing the horror upon their faces.

“I did exactly what will fucking happen to anyone else who fucking kills anymore of my men. Shit, you should all be thankful that this son of a bitch is still breathing. If I had known who had killed ten of my fucking men earlier, I can guarantee you that this prick would have had his fucking head bashed the fuck in.” 

When Negan knelt behind Daryl the younger man started to panic, “No! No no… please no!” he shrieked trying to move away, but Negan put an end to that when he tangled a hand in his hair and held his head still.

“Should we show them what exactly happened Dixon?” 

Rick watched as the sick bastard leaned in close, inhaling the scent of Daryl's neck before licking a strip from his jugular to his jawline, Daryl whined in protest the tremors seemed to increase out of sheer fear. “Hm? Should we show them what I did to you."

The ex-cop was about to protest when Negan wrestled Daryl onto the ground and ripped the blanket from his body revealing the redneck's back.

Carl's mouth dropped open in horror and Rick looked like he was about to pass out. “Oh my god...”

“You sick fuck!” Aaron yelled nearly charging the man but Morgan grabbed him quickly. 

Negan fired a shot up in the air to get everyone's attention, his eyes deadly as he spoke clearly once he got it. 

“This, is what will fucking happen to anyone else who tries this shit again. Does it look like I'm motherfucking playing around now?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some bromance here.

To everyone's surprise Negan and Dwight hopped back in their vehicle. 

Negan rolled down the window, “We will be back to load stuff up tomorrow. Just thought I'd deliver this message personally.” 

Even after the Savior leader had driven off no one moved at first, still trying to register exactly what had happened. 

After a moment Rick darted towards his wounded brother and knelt beside him, reaching out to place tentative hands on the man's blood covered back.

Daryl wailed, flinging his weight away from the other man with eyes filled with absolute panic. “No please!” 

Taken aback by Daryl's reaction Rick drew back his hands like he'd been burnt and let the younger man move away.

“Dad, dad wait!” Carl's voice called out to him. 

Rick turned to his son with a desperate look on his face, they had to do something. 

Carl approached and started to speak softly so that he was sure only his dad could hear. 

“I was there with him… let me try to get him somewhere less crowded.”

Rick glanced over at his shaking friend before asking quietly, he needed to have it confirmed.

“He raped him?” 

Carl nodded, and Rick let out a sigh. 

“Thankfully I've worked on a few rape trauma cases, and from experience I can say that with those wounds his physical health is what's most important at the current moment, we can help him heal emotionally later. He won't heal overnight, he's gonna be a mess like this for a while.”

His son hung his head, gritting his teeth as he mentally swore death upon those sick fuckers.

A strong hand upon his shoulder made him look up, it belonged to his dad. “I-I know, it's hard to see him like this, but… please just trust me Carl.” 

Reluctant as he was, Carl did give a small nod of confirmation before Rick was walking back over to Daryl.

Rick glanced over his shoulder at his son, seeing the disappointed look on his son's face he let out a sigh and walked back over to him.

“I do have a job for you though, go to our place and get the old guest room straightened up then go find as much medical supplies as you can. Try to keep everyone hush hush til tomorrow, I want to get him calmed down if I can.” 

Carl again nodded, and Rick took a moment to inspect his son's injuries, wincing at the dark bruises that littered his son's face and body. 

Brushing some of his bang's back he prodded the black eye with tentative gentle fingers, when Carl flinched out of reflex Rick placed a kiss to his forehead, smoothing back his hair momentarily before turning back to Daryl to try to go console the man. 

Carl ushered Michonne away and with some effort, managed to convince Aaron and Morgan to climb back onto the watch post to give the men some privacy.

Rick knelt down in front of his wild friend, eying his wounds with brief scans so it didn't look like he was staring, he knew there was a possibility that that kind of attention could spook him.

His back was covered in blood, and Rick swallowed as he spotted the sources. There was a stab wound on the back of one shoulder, and the word 'Worthless' had been brutally carved into the middle of Daryl's back. Some of the flesh still bled lightly, but most of it scabbed over. The fabric that had covered him must have smeared it all over the place.

Rick offered a weak smile, “Hey man, you look like hell.” he spoke softly, holding a hand out non-threateningly. 

Daryl scooted back, clinging tightly to the blanket that kept him covered eyes glassy as he pleaded brokenly to Rick. “Please don't… I don't want to do it again… please… Rick not you too..”

The ex-cop swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat shaking his head the negative at the mere suggestion. “No, Daryl, I don't want anything like that from you. You're my brother, I couldn't even think about doing something so awful to you.” 

The redneck's eyes seemed to soften momentarily but the guardedness quickly returned. 

“C-Carl. Is Carl okay?” he asked quickly. 

Rick nodded, “Carl's fine, he's here. He's worried about you, we all are.” 

Daryl looked around uncomfortably, starting to try to get himself to his feet but his body was too exerted to even do much.

When Rick moved forward to help lift the man, Daryl like before tried to flinch away, but this time Rick didn't withdraw instead he kept a grip on his friend even when he started trying to fight tooth and nail to get out of his hold.

“N-No! No leggo of me!”

Realizing that there as no way he'd be able to handle the man when he was so wound up, Rick lowered the both of them back to the ground and wrapped his arms around the man in a tight embrace.

Daryl was still trying to fight him and he continued to for several minutes, sobbing and pleading for Rick to release him.

Rick didn't say a word just continued to hold the other man whilst playing a weird game of twister when the two were a mess of limbs, Rick using his legs to try to pin Daryl's thighs down so he couldn't use them as leverage to get away, adjusting his arms here and there, using his own body weight against the other man. Not that the last one did much good, Daryl had always had a lot more muscle mass than him, even with a lot of it wasted away a lot of it was still there.

They stayed like this for several minutes until finally Daryl broke down into a mess of mournful sobs and stopped fighting against him, submitting pitifully. 

Everytime he spoke now his sentences were mixed with heart wrenching sobs. 

“R-Rick…. please don't do this to me...” 

Rick shushed the redneck, running his hands through his hair, “Daryl, I would never ever do that to you brother. I just want you to calm down and let me help you.”

Daryl renewed his struggles again for a moment, twisting his body against his best friend's hold making Rick tighten his grip at first but when he felt the man's forehead instead rest against his shoulder he let it loosen again.

The endless sobs interrupted by hiccups here and there made tears prick at the former lawman's eyes. 

He could feel the violent trembling of his friend's body against his own. Shoulders heaving with each shuddering breath he took and let out with another emotionally agonizing noise. 

“M'so sorry.. man… Rick I-I'm… I'm so… sorry…”

Rick's eyes drifted upward when he heard a small noise above them, Aaron was looking down at the scene with such raw emotion that Rick could sympathize with. 

Aaron and Daryl were good friends, in fact if you asked Rick's opinion, Aaron was one of the handful of people whom Daryl felt he could actually trust with anything. Carol, Denise Beth, Carl, Glenn himself and maybe Michonne would be the other ones. 

Two of them were dead… no… three… three of them were dead.

Morgan placed a hand on Aaron's back to offer some comfort and Rick thanked the man silently as they shared a glance.

“I-I'm-”

“Shh.” Rick shushed his distraught friend, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“I… huh… tried… tr-... tried to fight 'im… I didn' like it I swear! … I-I had to…. to protect Carl… ” 

Rick rested his chin on top of Daryl's head and let the younger man cry it out. 

“And then…. And then I ended up… h-hurting Carl m'self…. I didn' mean to! He… he scared me! I-I… he must hate m-me!”

“No, shh Daryl listen to me...” 

Daryl hesitated but he slowly looked up at Rick's face, but he still averted eye contact.

“Carl is not mad at you, he's worried about you. I can tell he's very thankful for what you did for him, I can't even express how grateful I am… and how sorry I am that you were put into that situation brother.”

After a few moments of comforting the man Daryl seemed to calm down and just sat there allowing Rick to hold and rock him carefully.

Finally the man spoke, “Daryl we need to get your wounds looked at… do you trust me?” 

When Rick didn't get a response he got concerned and when he pulled the man back and he realized he was limp as a rag doll he let out a curse as he found the redneck had passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one was shorter than most of the other chapters but I thought this was a good spot to stop this one. 
> 
> I'm debating on turning this into a Rick and Daryl. But I love the bromance between the two as it is. However I'm also debating on Daryl and Carol BUT I CAN'T WRITE STRAIGHT PAIRINGS WORTH A SHIT EVEN THOUGH I LOVE THE FUCK OUT OF THOSE TWO!!!! 
> 
> IF ANYONE HAS ANY OTHER IDEAS OR OPINIONS TO SHARE LET ME KNOW!!!


	7. Chapter 7

Rick let out a sigh slumping onto the couch scrubbing a hand over his face, what a day.

Holy hell his mind was racing a million miles an hour. 

Things were not good, that's something that Rosita made very, very clear to him. 

The young woman was far from confident handling their friend's injuries, it's true she hadn't the experience that Denise had, and Daryl's injuries were not only emotionally damaging but his physical injuries were just brutal. 

Aaron decided that tomorrow he was going to take a vehicle up to Hilltop, to see if they could get some extra help from their doctor. 

Even though he had argued against the idea at first, after speaking with Rosita about an hour ago… he was running out of options.

She had cleaned and sewn up some of his wounds. The wound on his chest, the bullet wound he had donned before Negan took him and Carl captive, that was a different story, it was infected and pulsating, she gave him a syringe full of some anti-biotics and now was waiting for th infection to drain a little before she tried to see what she could do regarding closing the wound.

For now though, Carol was well enough to be on her feet and she decided to stay in the room with him. 

“Dad?” 

Carl's voice made him jump so violently he almost tumbled off the couch. 

God that kid was sneaky.

Regaining his composure Rick turned over his shoulder to find Carl standing in the doorway.

“Carl, hey. How are you feeling bud?” 

The boy just nodded absentmindedly as he took a spot next to his father, who slung an arm around him as they sat. 

“Negan is really something else, we thought Philip was bad… this guy is in a totally different league.” 

A little surprised by the sudden change in his son's character Rick decided to ask, “Do you need to talk about it?” 

Carl scoffed, but he didn't say no so Rick went quiet sitting in silence for several minutes. 

“The prick had his people patch him up when we got to the Sanctuary, gave him a week to recover before he tore into him.” 

Rick nodded idly and Carl let out a huff, “Daryl told him about the RPG to get the bastard away from me. The man went absolutely ballistic on him.”

“Oh Christ.” Rick muttered placing a hand over his mouth, he had a feeling that the man would find out what Daryl did, that was one of his biggest fears whilst the two were with the sick assholes. 

**~ Hill Top ~**

Aaron took a deep breath as he opened the door of the truck, swinging his legs out of the vehicle he sat for a moment exhaling a sigh before glancing over his shoulder to the passenger's side where Carl had fallen asleep with his head resting on his left shoulder facing the window.

Even though Rick had protested against his son going, Carl made it very clear that he was going whether Rick liked it or not. 

_'Poor kid, I can't even imagine the hell he's been putting himself through during all this chaos.'_

Aaron debated for a moment with waking the younger man up since they reached their destination, eventually he decided against it, the truck was parked just outside Hilltop's gates in some brush that he knew was still within the view of the colonies watch towers. He hadn't seen any walkers for miles and as long as they had people on watch he knew Carl would be fine. 

Plus the young man was completely exhausted, dark circles underneath his eyes making the still healing black eyes on his young face look worse than they really were at this point. 

Letting out a small sight he got out of the vehicle, closing the door as quietly as he could as to not awake the teen. 

The brunette stood just outside the truck, raising his arms above his head to stretch his back and for a moment bouncing on the balls of his feet before exhaling deeply. 

Judging by how Greggory had reacted to their presence last time they were amongst the other group, the brunette had a feeling that the leader of the Hill Top Colony wasn't going to be very keen on just allowing some of his residents go for a 'joy ride' to the Alexandria Safe Zone. 

Because of this, he knew exactly who he wanted to talk to. 

Though he had a plan he thought would work, he wouldn't lie he was still extremely nervous that they would turn them away.

He made his way around the truck beginning to approach the gate, when he was half-way there he heard the unmistakable sound of a riffle clicking above him. 

“Don't do anything stupid man, hands up.” a voice ordered sharply.

Aaron did as he was told, brining his hands up to rest on top of his head as he looked to the top of the gate.

He spotted one of the Hilltop guards, the younger one whom he remembered speaking to briefly when before their group left to 'take on' Negan. 

What was his name again… Kal! That's right.

The man studied him for a moment before lowering the gun slightly, but he knew he still had his aim trained on him cautiously. 

“I remember you, you were with the Alexandria group.” 

Aaron smiled weakly and give a small nod, “That's right, you're Kal… if I remember right?” 

When the man nodded he lowered the gun, resting it beside the balcony so he could lean forward to converse with the man. 

The awkward silence was unnerving so the brunette continued, gesturing a hand to himself. “Aaron. We spoke once before, but with the circumstances I wasn't expecting you to remember my name.”

Kal nodded his head again and raised an eyebrow, “What brings you here?” 

He scratched the back of his head nervously, “Well, I was actually wondering if I could speak to Jesus and Doctor Carson.” 

The other man eyed him curiously, clearly wanting more details but he accepted the answer and disappeared from sight. 

**~ X X X ~**

“Look man, I had heard about what happened when you confronted Negan and I'm sorry about the loss of your man but-”

“Don't.” Aaron's voice cut sharply.

Jesus quieted at the snipped tone, and Harlan felt a twinge of pity for the Alexandria resident, he knew they were all hurting.

Aaron took a deep breath, to regain his composure and quell the anger that Glenn's murder brought to mind. 

“I'm sorry, but I'm not here to talk about Glenn and tell you things are hunky dory. I…. I need your help… we need your help...” 

Paul gave the man an sympathetic glance, “We can't loan you any-”

“I don't give a rats ass about supplies! That's not the kind of help we need!” 

The doctor raised an eyebrow, “What is it that you need Aaron?” 

A brief pause filled the air before Aaron spoke, “You.” 

Harlan and Jesus shared a confused glance before turning to the brunette again. 

“Look… I know you have people to look after I understand that, but please we have someone who is very sick, his wounds are not good, we had to bury our doctor last month and Rosita doesn't have the knowledge or experience to deal with this sort of thing-”

“Who is it?” the other man asked curiously.

“Daryl.”

“Daryl? You mean that backwoods hick who almost shot me three times?” Jesus asked.

Aaron nodded, “He's in bad shape. Negan brought him and Carl back last night-”

The two hilltop residents shared another glance before turning back to the other man and Harlan broke the silence, “Back?” 

“Yeah. The night Negan killed Glenn, he took Daryl and Carl as 'insurance' to make sure the first few pickups went as he expected. He brought the two of them back last night.” 

Harlan shook his head in disgust and Jesus felt for the other man he really did, he just didn't know if they would be able to help them much. “How bad are his wounds?” 

“He was stabbed a few times, and he has an Infected bullet wound...”

Even after he told them that much, they could tell when Aaron bit his lip nervously that something else had happened. 

Jesus took a step forward, concern etched his face now. “What else?” 

“He raped him.” 

The doctor scrubbed a hand over his face, grumbling under his breath and Jesus just looked absolutely disturbed. 

“Brutally from what the kid told me, right in front of him too.” 

A tense silence filled the air and after several moments Aaron spoke again voice pleading with the two men. 

“Look I know we fucked up a few things for your people, but we share the same enemy and I'm not asking you to loan us anything. We have medical supplies and stuff, we just need someone who knows how to use them. Rick didn't even want me to come up here out of fear, but Daryl cannot wait much longer. Despite being a total redneck asshole, he's loyal to a fault, selfless to the point that he puts everyone else' safety above his own, and I cannot even express enough how many times he's saved our asses. He blew up a fucking military tank for Christ's sake. Daryl above everyone else didn't deserve this, not this.”

“Look son, I know. I've seen good people die, some did deserve it, some didn't but -” Harland started but Aaron cut him off.

“Please, I've come all this way, don't make me go home empty handed. Jesus I know you and your leader are close, he trusts you. Please just.. try to talk to him. We would be in your debt.” 

Jesus scratched his head, sharing a glance with Harlan before sighing. “I'll talk to him.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the fever

A frantic knock on Rick's bedroom door had the man bolting into a sitting position with a surprised gasp.

Through the groggy haze that accompanied the darkness of the room, Rick could see the silhouette of Michonne's still naked body sitting up straight as well, clearly on high alert.

“Rick!” a male voice came from the other side of the wood in a hushed but clearly very desperate whisper.

Unlike his partner, he was still half-asleep and he couldn't' stop the tired mumble of “M'who is it?” 

Michonne rolled her eyes and pushed the ex-cop out of the bed where he fell on the floor with a yelp.

Rick pouted as he looked up at his girlfriend, who smirked even though she did try to hide it.

“Spencer, Rick we need your help its-” 

With a heavy sigh Rick nodded, “Daryl.” he finished for the man starting the task of pulling on his clothes whilst conversing with the man outside the room.

“Yeah, we can get close to him and he's freaking out!”

Quickly pulling his pants on Rick started scurrying about trying to find his shirt but finally he gave up, deciding that Daryl was more important than a god damned shirt.

When he met Spencer in the hallway he got a good look at him easily spotting a busted lip and a scratch on the young man's neck that clear to the top of his clavicle.

“Christ, what the hell-”

“Rick he's freaking wild.” Spencer explained quickly as he hurried down the stairs Rick not even two feet behind him. 

When Rick finally reached the guest bedroom he felt his stomach churn as the already opened door gave him a fair view of what was going on inside.

Daryl wasn't on the bed, but he could see the man's head poking up from behind it, blue eyes watching their every movement like a caged animal.

The ex-cop placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder, “Thanks Spencer, I'll take it from here man.” 

Spencer at first looked reluctant to leave but the look on Rick's face kind of gave him an idea of why the man wanted him to leave so wordlessly he did.

Rick took a deep breath as he stepped into the room trying to clear his head. Daryl quickly ducked down out of sight.

“Daryl?” 

“Get 'way.” came the other man's tearful response.

His bare feet padded quietly on the carpet as he moved toward the bed, he could hear shuffling against the wall as Daryl continued to try to hide.

“G-Go 'way!” Daryl repeated voice rising as his breath hitched.

Rick sighed and shook his head, taking a seat on the edge of the bed facing the doorway. Turning his back to the traumatized man on purpose. “Nah man, I'm not going to leave you like this.” 

A strangled sob from Daryl gave Rick the urge to turn around, but he kept his cool taking another deep breath as he stared at the door. 

He listened to the other man cry softly in his hiding spot beside the wall and the bed for a long while. Didn't talk. Didn't look at his friend. He just sat there quietly.

Eventually he heard shuffling again and the older man couldn't help the jump when a trembling hand gripped at his pant leg.

When Rick looked down he saw Daryl on his hands and knees, face stained with tears and snot, blue eyes full of shame, fear, and misery.

The two just stared at each other for several moments, and Rick noticed that the longer looked into Daryl's eyes the more the redneck's lip started to tremble with emotion. 

Oh there was so much pain in his friend's eyes that it felt like his heart was being ripped in two.

To Rick's shock and soon utter horror, two trembling hands reached up to him and started to fumble with his belt buckle. 

He encased the shaking hands with his own and Daryl flinched violently letting out a small whimper and ducking his head.

“Daryl...” Rick spoke gently, voice as soft as he could make it as to not spook the other man. He continued when the other man hesitantly met his gaze, “… what are you doing?” 

Tears trickled down Daryl's bruised face, “I-If… if I- will y' be gentle.”

Rick almost threw up, but he choked the bile back down. 

_'Oh Christ Daryl'_

Pulling the redneck's hands away he sighed softly, “Daryl, I'm not leaving you because I want something from you… especially that.” 

Daryl suddenly looked very, very tired and Rick finally noticed the gauze on his side had small dark blotches where blood had started to flow. 

His body was starting to glisten with sweat and his breathing was a little labored.

“Daryl, can we get you back into bed? You really shouldn't' be up right now.”  
Blue eyes blinked tiredly at him and Rick felt for the man, “Can you stand?” 

“I think so.” 

Of course as soon as he got to his feet his knees trembled and buckled beneath him, Rick barely had time to keep him from kissing the floor.

Rick cringed when his hands made contact with the other's skin, oh he was hot to the touch and the sweat that glistened on his body wasn't a good sign. Possibly signs of infection, fever maybe?

Daryl yelped when he found himself against Rick's bare chest, and his first instinct was to fight but Rick's voice seemed to snap him out of it.

“Okay, it's okay. You're okay brother.” 

His body went tense in surprise and he looked at Rick with an astonished far away look in his eyes. 

“M-Merle...?”

_'Oh no. Yeah, he's starting to hallucinate.'_

Just as he was about to answer the younger man, Daryl latched on to him tightly and started sobbing. 

“Merle… Merle… I-I thought ya were dead! I was try'na find ya! I'm so sorry Merle, please can ya forgive me brother… I… I… I've missed you s-so much! An… An' I need mah ole Merle ri'now, please don'chu leave me again brother!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am aware this chapter was ungodly short, however, you all best brace yourself for the next one. I deliberately cut this one short for the tissue fest for next chapter.
> 
> I've been trying my eyes writign all day, but I'm trying to space out my chapter posting time wise. I know, I'mma bitch like the AMC directers were last season NO I DID NOT SAY THAT TO BE MEAN I MEANT BECAUSE I'M LEAVEING YA'LL HANGING!!!


	9. Authors NOTE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AUTHORS NOTE!

I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I DELETED THAT LAST CHAPTER BECAUSE I DECIDED TO REDO THE WHOLE CHAPTER!!! OR well, some of the chapter and add more stuff and some scenes with other people. 

It should be up either later today or sometime this week, I promise it'll be worth it though!

Also I wanted to inform you guys that this is gonna be a Rickyl fic, very slow burning too. I finally decided upon one.


	10. Chapter 9

Daryl stared in awe as he looked up into his brother's eyes, he couldn't believe it.

Vision bleared by the tears in his eyes and the disbelief that was so overwhelming he raised his hands up to his brother's face to run his trembling digits along the poky stubble then up mapping about his sharp features and finally to run through his brother's gray hair. 

“M-Merle…” 

Merle smiled down at him with that mischievous irritating smart ass smile of his that always drove the younger brother nuts, but honestly that's one of the things he missed the most after he was gone.

_**“Now, what'chu cryin' for boy? Has poor baby Darlina finally lost 'is mind? Sure ya can be a real pain in the ass but that ain't gonna make ole Merle leave ya ta the wolves.”**_

The younger Dixon reacted when he punched him square in the face, then proceeded to beat weakly at his chest and squirmed against him trying to get his brother to release him.

“S-hut up Merle! Don' need yer bullshit 'ight! … Y-Ya'll don' know wh-what I've.. been through! Ya weren't… you weren' ...th-there! Ya ain' ever been there for m-me… .. 'less it had... -ssomethin' in it for.. yerself!” 

**~ X X X ~**

Rick had to admit Daryl's abrupt calmness had taken him by surprise. 

So much in fact that the punch that landed against his jaw was a perfect shot because he hadn't been expecting the sudden outburst.

The coppery taste of blood filling his mouth was enough to snap him into reality and recover from the initial shock of the blow, allowing himself to prepare for the blows that suddenly started to assault his torso.

Daryl was absolutely wild with emotion, trying to free himself desperately all the while he was angrily yelling at his deceased brother. 

“S-hut up Merle! Don' need yer bullshit 'ight! … Y-Ya'll don' know wh-what I've.. been through! Ya weren't… you weren' ...th-there! Ya ain' ever been there for m-me… .. 'less it had... s-somethin' in it for.. yerself!” 

Halfway through his rant Rick noticed the sobs that started to interrupt his speech as he became more and more upset. 

“Okay, okay come here.” 

Rick tightened his hold on the other man trying desperately to still his flailing limbs, police training kicking in he managed to pin the other man on the bed, being careful where he put his hands he didn't want to give him the wrong idea.

**~ X X X ~**

_**“Don't ya talk ta me like that boy! All them years I took care o' us, try'na make a man outta yer scrawny ass!”**_

Merle's arms tightened around him and 

“Ya soun' jus' like 'im!” 

Merle's eyes widened in shock and then filled with rage and he suddenly pinned him down to the bed, when Daryl looked up with surprised eyes he could see Merle's fist raised to strike him.

_**“I ain' nothin' like that sick fuck!”**_

He just broke with sorrow overwhelming him and all the years of pain and torment from before started rushing out of him. 

Voice strained with tears he responded weakly, “N-No… no yer not. Ain't even close.”

Merle stared at him in shock not expecting his baby brother to back off as easily as he just did.

Daryl stopped fighting him and leaned up to rest his forehead against his chest, keeping it there as the sobs shook his smaller body.

“But… but ya weren't there then. Ya weren't there when Pa was s-so shit faced that he'd… he'd grabbed... m-mamma's ashes an' threw them on the kitchen floor… st-stompin' threw 'em to pick up a sharp piece of the pottery… an' … an' cut me with it t-til the wooden floorboard's were… w-were covered in mah b-blood… – an' 'fore I passed out h-he forced a han'ful o-of … ma… mamma down my throat… covered m' mouth an' nose til I-I swallowed...” 

He could see his brother's eyes watering now, and he could read the guilt and regret in his eyes, the horror of what happened in that house hitting him hard.

**~ X X X ~**

“Ya soun' jus' like 'im!” 

Deciding to wait until Daryl just calmed himself and hopefully passed out, or came back to reality, Rick remained silent as he held the younger man down.

“N-No… no yer not. Ain't even close.” Daryl whispered, his struggles ceased and he let his forehead rest against his bare chest almost apologetically. 

He just sat there listening to Daryl converse with Merle and once the redneck started getting into his childhood, Rick tried to prepare himself. 

Obviously he already knew it wasn't good, but no amount of preparation could have emotionally prepared him for the heartbreaking stoy that came out of his friend's mouth.

“But… but ya weren't there then. Ya weren't there when Pa was s-so shit faced that he'd… he'd grabbed... m-mamma's ashes an' threw them on the kitchen floor… st-stompin' threw 'em to pick up a sharp piece of the pottery… an' … an' cut me with it t-til the wooden floorboard's were… w-were covered in mah b-blood… – an' 'fore I passed out h-he forced a han'ful o-of … ma… mamma down my throat… covered m' mouth an' nose til I-I swallowed...” 

Tears filled Rick's eyes and it wasn't long until they spilled over, a couple dripping into the man's hair.

 _'Oh my god…'_

**~ X X X ~**

Merle placed a gentle hand on the side of his face. _**“Daryl-”**_

“Y-Ya weren't there... w-when I tried to run away an' a Sheriff found me an' … h-he…. Brought…. m-me back home. P-Pa put on such a show... a-an- and right after the sheriff was gone... h-he beat me black an' blue til I passed out... D-Didn' wake up for 'most five days.. an' I wasn' even home, I was at Uncle Jess' house, h-he'd come to the house an' ...found me like that! … –- Took me from Pa 'cause h-he were 'fraid Pa'd kill me!” 

Daryl let his head rest back on the mattress, staring up at Merle with a face stained with tears. 

_**“Daryl, I thought if ole Merle left he-”**_

“O-Or when… w-when he would beat m-me and he…. H-he would tie me up… t-those ones w-were the worst 'uns b-because… I… he… he was s-so strong an' I couldn't fight 'im then. Most the time I-I didn' try ta fight 'cause he would just get… mo-... more mean an' it last longer. H-He didn' jus' use his fists, sometimes a knife or the butt of his riffle. Wh-when he'd tie me up… it… I-it still varied an' dependin' on 'is mood. I… I… sometimes I-I'd get so… so scared that… that I'd panic an' if I started screamin' for help… h-he'd gag me with his belt… one time he shoved one of uncle Jess' old grenades in my mouth an' he tol' me to bite down if I… I-I wanted the pussy way out.” 

The younger Dixon let out a heart wrenching sob, turning his head to the side and looking away. 

He heard Merle let out a sob above him much to his disbelief. 

Merle's arms were snaking underneath his back, lifting him up to pull him against his chest while he cried. _**“C'mere sweet boy...”**_

**~ X X X ~**

“Y-Ya weren't there... w-when I tried to run away an' a Sheriff found me an' … h-he…. Brought…. m-me back home. P-Pa put on such a show... a-an- and right after the sheriff was gone... h-he beat me black an' blue til I passed out... D-Didn' wake up for 'most five days.. an' I wasn' even home, I was at Uncle Jess' house, h-he'd come to the house an' ...found me like that! … –- Took me from Pa 'cause h-he were 'fraid Pa'd kill me!” 

Rick ran his fingers through the redneck's hair, tears dripping silently off his face as he listened to his friend speak. 

The man's history was absolutely heartbreaking no child should have to go through the shit that Daryl did. 

His mother's death was an accident, and was in no way either child's fault but some people just need someone to blame.

Daryl let his head rest back on the mattress staring over Rick's shoulder with a face stained with tears. 

“O-Or when… w-when he would beat m-me and he…. H-he would tie me up… t-those ones w-were the worst 'uns b-because… I… he… he was s-so strong an' I couldn't fight 'im then. Most the time I-I didn' try ta fight 'cause he would just get… mo-... more mean an' it last longer. H-He didn' jus' use his fists, sometimes a knife or the butt of his riffle. Wh-when he'd tie me up… it… I-it still varied an' dependin' on 'is mood. I… I… sometimes I-I'd get so… so scared that… that I'd panic an' if I started screamin' for help… h-he'd gag me with his belt… one time he shoved one of uncle Jess' old grenades in my mouth an' he tol' me to bite down if I… I-I wanted the pussy way out.” 

That was it, Rick couldn't take it anymore.

“Shh, Daryl it's okay.” He shifted his arms underneath Dary's back as carefully as he could to not jostle wounds and pulled him against him, holding him in a tight embrace.

 **~ X X X ~**

Daryl just cried, and cried all those pent up emotions finally flooding out of him like a broken damn. 

_**“I'm so sorry Daryl, m'so sorry. I should'a been there… M'suppoed ta be a big brother, an' I always known I ain't been a very good one, but good lord.. if I had known what he was doin' to my baby brother… ole' Merle would'a walked his lazy ass back to them mountains to shoot that fuck in the face.”**_

“An-An you weren't there when the group was torn o'part… G-Glenn was beaten t-to death an…. An' I got a ride back wit' some sick fuck… h-he…. He….”

Merle swallowed a lump in his throat, _**“He what little brother?”**_

Another heartbreaking wail came from Daryl before he was able to answer, “H-He … he…. he r-raped me Merle! He raped me!”

**~ X X X ~**

Rick's heart was absolutely torn from this situation, he had known Daryl never took Merle's death well, they had never exactly talked about it either. 

There were several times he'd wanted to approach the subject honestly, but with it being a sensitive subject that usually upset the man he didn't know how.

“An-An you weren't there when the group was torn apart… G-Glenn was beaten t-to death an…. An' I got a ride back wit' some sick fuck… h-he…. he….”

 _'Oh Daryl please….'_ he thought desperately as he rocked the man a little bit hushing him quietly.

“H-He … he…. he r-raped me Merle! He raped me!”

Rick sat there just holding Daryl tightly as he listened to the redneck cry all the hurt out he'd bottled up since his childhood. Just hearing some of the words that came from his friend's mouth he couldn't help the strangled sob that came from the back of his own throat. Feeling such despair for someone who meant so much to him.

“I know Daryl, god I am so sorry. This is not your fault.”

Of course the man didn't hear him and continued his conversation with the hallucination, his voice was starting to slur though like fatigue was taking over.

“I-I didn't like it none... I swear! I tried to fight him, but he… was somethin' else.. Merle I-I needed ya bro …. where… wh-where were you!?”

“Shh, Daryl it's okay.” Rick whispered softly into his ear. 

Daryl didn't speak after that, instead he just sat there and cried, and cried while Rick held him tenderly against his side smoothing his hair with one hand as he tried to console him.

With his emotional state in such a chaos Rick decided he was gonna try to see if he could get the man to lay down, his body was absolutely exhausted and at this point he could tell he was trying to keep himself awake by refusing to still his movements.

Trying to be cautious of his friend's wounded back yet still trying to be firm, the former cop started trying to get the redneck onto his back to lay down.

His friend jerked violently and latched onto him like his life depended on it causing Rick to let out a sigh."Daryl, you need to rest. C'mon man, just lay down."

**~ X X X ~**

Daryl could feel his brothers body tense against him and after a few moments small tremors vibrating against his own chest as Merle's shoulders heaved.

_**“Fuck! I outta kill them son ova bitches and rape their ugly fucking corpses!”** _

The younger brother cried softly clinging to his older sibling with a death grip.

Merle settled down after a moment and let out a sigh carding his fingers through Daryl's hair.

“I-I didn't like it none... I swear! I tried to fight him, but he… was somethin' else.. Merle I-I needed ya bro …. where… wh-where were you!?”

_**“Ain't gonna lie to ya baby brother, ole Merle can't really understand it all, but he ain't ever gonna think any less of y' scrawny ass, love ya too much boy.”** _

When Daryl felt his back starting to meet the mattress he realized that Merle was trying to set him down and he panicked.

Merle caught his wrists in one tight hand when he flailed desperately.

_**”'Hell's wrong with you boy? Lay yer cranky wounded ass down fore' I give ya a shiner!** _

“No… no please… p-please n-no… don't! N-No I don't wanna do 's ...again! M-Merle … I don' want'chu ta l-leave m-me again! … B-Brother please… s-sta- … stay! ”

The older Dixon blinked before he started laughing heartily, _**“Darlina, I ain't goin' anywhere. Ya get into ole Merle's stash again? C'mon ya smarter n'that baby brother, ya really think 'd leave yer ass like this? Naw, I just wan'chu to rest, now lay down 'fore I whoop yer ass.”**_

**~ X X X ~**

Even though the younger man still seemed to be lost in his trance, he seemed to react to this statement very negatively.

“No… no please… p-please n-no… don't! N-No I don't wanna do 's ...again! M-Merle … I don' want'chu ta l-leave m-me again! … B-Brother please… s-sta- … stay! ”

Rick quickly started cooing reassurances as the man fussed trying to pry Daryl's hands from his shirt.

“Shh, Daryl.. it's okay brother. I won't leave you alone man. Hushhh… Daryl it's alright.”

Eventually the sobs resided to sniffles that started to space out here and there as the redneck seemed to cry himself to sleep in his arms. 

Rick didn't move. Even when he knew Daryl was so out that he could easily get up and return to his own bedroom. 

No. 

He just sat there, staring blankly ahead with his hand absentmindedly continuing to stroke Daryl's hair as he became lost in thought mind desperately trying to take in all that had just taken place.

He was going to make Negan pay for this.

**~ Hilltop Colony ~**

Carl let out a yawn as he let his eyes slide open, holy hell did he fell a lot better now that he'd finally got some rest.

He looked around and damn near pissed himself when he found that he was in a parked car and it was pitch black and dead silent outside. 

Did they crash? Where was Aaron? Why didn't he wake him up?

A strangled yelp tore from his throat when a voice spoke to him.

“Hey, easy tiger I'm back here.” 

When he twisted in his seat and found the older man sprawled over the seats in the back.

Carl huffed, “You scared the shit out of me.” 

Aaron chuckled softly, “Sorry.”

“Why'd we stop?” 

“Oh, we're here already, I talked to Jesus and he's gonna speak to their leader for me, just waiting for them to get back.” 

The teen nodded idly before glancing over his shoulder again, “Why didn't you wake me up?” 

A sigh accompanied the response, “Kid, no offense but you've looked like shit since you got back, you were so tired I can tell you hadn't slept much didn't wanna wake you.” 

An awkward silence filled the air until Aaron spoke again, “You look like you feel a bit better though.”

Carl nodded, “I do, thanks. Next time don't scare me like that tho-”

“Hey kid!” 

“Gaah!” “HOLY SHIT!” both men suddenly shrieked when Jesus popped out of no where and placed a hand on Carl's shoulder, Aaron had bolted upright so fast that he actually hit his head on the ceiling in the back seat.

Jesus laughed at the reaction but Harlan who stood behind him shook his head in disabproval. “Paul you're lucky that boy didn't have a gun on him. If I were him and you scared me like that my first instinct would be to blow your head off thinking you were a walker.”

The younger man rolled his eyes, “Well we come bearing good news.” 

Aaron's fixed glare immediately disappeared at those words.

“He'll let us go, but he wants Harlan back as soon possible so I gotta go with to supervise.” 

“Thank you so much. You have no idea how much we appreciate this.” Aaron spoke softly as he crawled out of the backseat to get behind the wheel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some feedback on this chapter would be amazing! I don't know about you but I bawled my fucking eyes out just typing this damn thing. In fact it was so bad at one point that I had to give my a computer a break to dry off. Seriously I was typing and for some reason I thought I had my contacts in but I didn't so I had my nose like a few inches from the screen don't ask me how I didn't realize I couldn't see, in my defense I got fucking shit-faced the night before anyways. Anyways, the 'e' , 'r' , 's' , 'd', 'a', 'j', 'k' , 'l' keys needed a break to dry out. It was so damn irritating. 
> 
> I HOPE THIS emotionally effected people as much as it did the writer here, if you didnt' at least use an entire tissue box, PLEASE gimme some critique or tips on how I can make you piss outta your eyes the next sad scene I write cause we all know this story has a lot. ....
> 
> .... dear god..... I just realized how much having to type out Negan's dialog has effected me. "Piss out your eyes" .... omg that's just so bad.... and it not only is bad but it SOUNDS fucking inappropriate as fuck! I scared myself a bit there.
> 
> HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY THIS I WORKED HARD ON IT!


	11. Chapter 10

When Michonne woke in the morning she was a little surprised to find Rick not in the bed with her, however when the night came flooding back to her that confusion quickly turned to alarm and she quickly started to get dressed feeling the need to go make sure she wasn't going to find that Daryl had accidentally slaughtered his best friend out of fright.

She padded quietly down the stairs, sword drawn just in case she needed to use it, the house was so unsettlingly silent that the woman could hear every single one of the wooden steps creak beneath her feet. 

Upon reaching the bottom of the steps she took a deep breath when she noted the guest bedroom door partially open giving a preview of the unpredictable situation within the room.

Somehow she gathered up the courage to steel herself as she pushed open the door, she had no clue what she was going to find but she was praying that it wasn't the potential scenario that was slowly dragging its way to the front of her mind. 

Michonne couldn't help the sigh of relief that came from her lips when her eyes laid to rest on the two figures lying on the bed. A reluctant smile tugged its way onto her face.

Rick was laying on his back and Daryl was snuggled up against his side, Rick with his right arm wrapped around Daryl's shoulders hand snaked up into the redneck's dark hair. 

It was actually kind of cute. This was honestly one of the times she wished they still had cameras. 

Rick's eyes suddenly opened and he turned his head spotting someone in the doorway. 

When he met her eyes she offered a gentle smile which he returned before letting his eyes slip closed again.

“How is he?” she couldn't help the question but she did keep her voice low.

Rick's nostrils flared as he took a deep intake of breath that made his chest rise and fall with Daryl's head on top of it.

“He's really messed up.” his responded with an equally controlled voice.

She nodded, “I know, do you want me to stay with him for bit?”

He shook his head slowly, “Nah, I got it. I don't want him hurting anyone by accident.” 

Michonne nodded, “You want me to wake you when our favorite person gets here?”

The man snorted but nodded his head, “Yeah probably should.” 

“Alright.” 

**~ Memory ~**

Daryl was startled awake to the sound of their front door slamming open and then slamming shut.

He could hear his father’s heavy booted footsteps on the wooden floorboards that covered most the rooms in the old house.

Merle said that their folks built the house themselves before he was born, his brother was about four years old at the time and he recalled their ma pitching a fit about Will wanting to put carpet on the floors. She claimed that kids were messy and they didn’t have the luxury of fancy stain cleaners.

That was before Will Dixon had turned into what he was the few years before Kassidy died. They used to be a loving couple but Merle said he couldn’t even remember that much anymore, the horrors of watching how that man beat on their ma replaced many a good memory.

Loud thuds from Will’s boots echoed outside the door as he started up the stairs.

_‘Oh no… is he coming here?’_ the boy thought skeptically.

It was never a good sign when his father came home at this hour. That usually meant he was at the bar and was coming home totally shit-faced.

Most of the time he tried to avoid his father if he was drunk but when he came looking for him it wasn’t exactly an option to hide because once the man found him he’d beat the living shit out of him, well he did that anyways but if he hid it was worse.

Booted footsteps came to a stop outside his door and the boy held his breath when the door handle moved.

The door was pushed open very quietly and soon Will emerged through the doorway.

He was stumbling and he reeked of moonshine one thing was different though the tears that flowed steadily from his father’s eyes and the sniffles.

Wait? Was his father crying? Naw, it couldn’t be his eyes must be playing tricks on him.

When his father started to approach his bed Daryl sat up and rubbed his eyes tiredly as he stared at him through his messy blond fringe.

The older man didn’t say a word he just sat down on the side of his bed and stared at Daryl with tearful eyes.

“Dad?”

Before Daryl could understand what was happening he found himself being held tight in his father’s arms, his body tensed instinctively.

His dad ran one hand through his hair and let his chin rest on top of his head small noises were coming from the back of his throat as he held him and Daryl was unsure what to do.

“D-Dad? What's wrong...”

Will shook his head, “Nothing boy, I just wanted to make sure y'all were still here.”

“Um… where else would I be?” 

“Dead.”

Daryl's blood went ice cold at the man's response and he pulled away with eyes full of fear.

When the boy's eyes met his own he knew he made a mistake and cupped the left side of his face with a gentle hand trying to mind the bruise on his cheekbone. 

“No boy, ain't what I meant. Ya momma left me. Merle left me. I was afraid 'd leave me too.” 

He couldn't help the tears that welled up in his eyes at the mention of his mother and brother, before things went to total shit. “Won't.”

Will wrapped him in another tight embrace that was hesitantly returned and he couldn't help but ask. “Why'd you think I'd leave?” 

The man chuckled in response but there was no mirth in it instead it sounded more like a failed attempt to disguise another sob.

“Boy y' have every right ta leave y' pa. Ain't ever been a good daddy to ya have I?” 

Daryl bit his lip not sure if he should really confirm that or not, fuck no Will Dixon was a horrible father but it's all he's ever known. “Still my pop.”

“Daryl ya know I love ya right? Even though I get rough on ya sometimes I don't mean it none.”

The boy swallowed a lump that had risen in his throat, emotion starting to form in his chest.

“Yeah.”

Will ruffled his hair with a sad smile. “Love ya Daryl.” 

A smile finally tugged onto the young redneck's face, these were the times that meant the most to him. 

“Love ya too pop.” 

Will started to adjust the pillows and placed a hand on Daryl's shoulder. “Scooch.” 

Daryl complied obediently and moved over to make room for his father in the bed and in a couple moments they were both laying down.

“Boy, promise me ya always remember that an' that y' ain't gonna leave.” 

“I promise dad.” 

Will planted a kiss on his forehead and held him tight. “'s my boy.”

**End Memory**

Rick felt Daryl shift against him or well really it was more like he buried his face into his chest. 

He didn't wanna describe it as cuddling. 

Daryl Dixon cuddling. 

That just made it sound weird and Rick had to bite back a laugh at the thought in his head.

However a soft knock on the door followed by a voice that Rick was not expecting nor wanting to hear anytime soon made his blood turn to ice.

“What's that? A knock on your door? Well, shit I don't even think I need to tell you what you need to fucking do now, do I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHT YOU GUYS This has been delayed for a few days and really I should be in fucking bed, which is where I'm going now actually. Unfortunately I caught the local bug that was flowing about our area and got sick for like a week then found out yesterday that I actually developed pneumonia whilst my immune system was trying to recooperate from the flu, so yaaaay nebulizer treatments!!! AND PILLS AND CAUGHING AND CHEST PAIN AND BACK PAIN AND I CAN'T DO ANY PHYSICAL WORK FOR MORE THAN TWENTY MINUTES OR I GET OUT OF BREATH AND START WHEEZING AND WHY THE FUCK AM I TYPING IN CAPS LOCK!!! I HAVE NO IDEA!!!
> 
> Anyways, so there won't be an update for another few days, i think it's best I try to focus on recovering from this, pneumonia has always been real aggressive on my body whenever I got it. Momma says I almost died when I was two weeks old cause I asperated fluid when I was born, scared my lungs up real bad and I'm prone to getting it I've had it multiple times but holy shit every new time I get it it's like JESUS FUCCKING CHRIST OWWW!!! 
> 
> -_- I think that's why every time I sneeze not just if I'm sick but sneezing in general I think that's why it hurts my lungs because they've been fucked with so much. 
> 
> *SHakes fist in air* DAMN YOU FALL THE ONLY THING I LIKE ABOUT YOU IS HALLOWEEEN!!! ... I'mma be David Bowie for Hallowween this year. AND I'M SO FUCKING TIRED I CAN'T TYPE!! EMILY MAY YOU NEED TO GO TO BED!!!! 
> 
> FINE!!!
> 
>  
> 
> A bit of this chapter was inspired by this amazing piece of work here by JamesJohnEye - http://archiveofourown.org/works/7541509
> 
> If you haven't read this, I totally recommend it. It's absolutely stunning.


	12. Chapter 11

Rick's heart started pounding violently in his chest and he was suddenly wide awake. 

What?! Was that Negan's voice? It was! But how!?! Michonne was supposed to let him know when the Saviors got here?! What happened what time was it?

Panic was starting to set in real fast as he glanced to the door then to the head resting on his chest.

“He – fucking – llo are you awake in there?” Negan's voice chimed on the other side of the door. 

Rick opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't find the words, he didn't know what he was supposed to say. 

The door knob turned and the door opened and there stood the sick bastard, black leather jacket and all. 

Daryl still hadn't woken up much to Rick's relief, he stared at Negan with angry eyes and the bastard stared back eyes sparking with a sickening fire when they rest upon the sight in the bedroom. 

Negan pulled his pistol from his holster much to the younger man's horror but before he could utter a sound the other man raised his finger to his lips and shushed him aiming the gun at Daryl's head and cocking the hammer. 

Rick shook his head desperately silently begging the man not to shoot his friend he even felt the tears welling up in his eyes at the thought of having Daryl ripped from him after all this.

The Sanctuary leader inclined his head to the hallway and finally Rick started to understand he didn't want Daryl to wake up but he expected him to haul his own ass into the hallway so they could talk. 

Silently he started to ease his way out from underneath Daryl's limp body and had the man not been in the state that he was, any other time Rick knew the man would have woken easily from this. Here he did not, he remained in a dead like slumber even as Rick pulled the blankets back over top of him.

Negan's eyes followed him the entire time until he joined him out in the hallway closing the door behind him.

Rick stood there awkwardly under Negan's evil gaze, that gaze paired with that charming smile directed right at him. 

“So, you're a couple of love birds now? I thought you were with that pretty lady outside?” 

The former cop swallowed nervously Negan could see his adam's apple bob as he did so. 

“No… no we're not like that… he's my best friend.” 

Negan raised an amused eyebrow, chuckling softly he clapped a hand on Rick's shoulder.

“You know Rick, here I thought I was having a mid-life crisis. Boy, I guess counting gray hairs is nothing because here I have a man who doesn't even know what he wants.” he finished with a soft laugh.

Rick glared sharply, “What do you think you know about me Negan? You don't know shit.” 

The other man's eyes danced with something… Rick couldn't quite place and it made him nervous when he received that charming smile again. “You love him.” 

“Not like that!” 

“Really? I'm glad to hear that Rick.” Negan replied with a relieved voice.

An alarm bell started going off in Rick's head. A moment ago he was sure Negan wanted him to say he did. Now he didn't? What?

“Because that way I won't feel like I'm about to ruin a relationship now.”

Before Rick could question the statement his world went black when the rifle came from seemingly nowhere behind him. 

**~ X X X ~**

Rick let out a groan as he came to his head was pounding... oh holy hell was it pounding it sounded like a jackhammer.

When he went to reach a hand up to try to calm his rapidly spinning vision he found his arm wouldn't move. 

It didn't take him long to figure out why.

He was sitting upright in a chair but his arms were bound tightly behind his back taking a look at his surroundings he recognized the guest bedroom and immediately his heart started skipping beats when he thought of Daryl.

Thankfully he found the man still asleep on the bed.

Wait… Negan had shown up. So does that mean that he was still her-

“Well, sleeping beauty bout time I didn't have em hit you that hard but damn. Twenty minutes? Your friend over there would have woken up in like five.” 

Even as he stepped into his line of sight Negan was still keeping his voice quiet as to not wake the sleeping redneck.

“What are you gonna do? What do you want?” 

Negan flashed that devilish smile at him again from where he stood at the foot of the bed.

“I told you, I want half your shit.” 

He then cast his glance over towards Daryl who was still unaware of the whole situation.

A rock lodged itself into the pit of his gut as the Alexandria leader finally started to get the hint.

“No…. please don't hurt him Negan, I'll do anything just… please leave him alone.” 

“Well, hate to break it to you Rick but you're gonna do exactly what I want while I fuck the kid's brains out.” 

Rick completely blanched and Negan smiled cruelly pulling his pistol out again as well as a rag from his back pocket. 

“Open wide.” he chimed softly aiming directly at the sleeping man's head as a clear picture of what he would do if he refused. 

Obviously fearful for his friend's safety Rick parted his lips and allowed the man to stuff the balled up fabric into his mouth

It tasted like gun metal, grease, blood and god knows what else. It almost made the former officer vomit. 

“Now you will watch everything I am about to do Rick, if I look over in your direction and find your focus anywhere but on us I will kill him. Think of it as payback for the ten men he blew to bits.” Negan's voice dripped with venom at the last part and Rick felt a shiver run up his spine. 

The older man leaned back and gave him another smile, “Crystal?” 

Reluctantly Rick just nodded his head in agreement not like he would be able to answer any other way. 

“Good.” Negan praised quietly before he turned his back and approached the bed.

Rick's heartbeat started pounding fiercely in his chest, watching the man slowly climb onto the mattress which dipped under his weight.

He stalked forward until he was up close and personal with his best friend, looking directly into his pleading eyes as he leaned forward and inhaled the scent of his hair.

Smirking he brought his mouth to the redneck's ear. 

“Daryl….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit shorter but holy hot damn I can't wait til I finish what I'm working on now, Jesus you guys are gonna hate me when you read the next chapter. 
> 
> Or cry. One of the two. 
> 
> Feeling a lot better! But holy fuck that pneumonia really kicked my fucking ass since last Wednesday! Holy shit!


	13. Chapter 12

Everything seemed to stand still for Rick he was waiting for Daryl to wake up screaming at the sudden contact and he counted the seconds that matched his own heartbeat within his head.

Much to his surprise Daryl didn't wake flailing in screaming like he normally had lately instead he stirred slightly and turned his head to the side.

“Stoppit Merle… tryin' ta sleep bro.” 

Negan paused in his advances and Rick could briefly spot confusion on the man's face more than likely trying to figure out who Merle Dixon was. 

That confusion disappeared quickly however and was replaced with a devious grin. 

He watched as the sick fuck leaned down using his hands and knees to suspend himself over Daryl's body being careful not to make too much physical contact to wake him.

Rick visibly bristled at the action he knew what the man was doing.

 _'Asshole can't just get it over with, no he has to try to make it as terrifying as possible for him.'_ he thought as he started thinking of a million ways to kill Negan… eventually. 

Negan placed a gentle kiss under Daryl's jawline his stubble rubbing against the redneck's throat as he did so and he could see his friend crinkle his nose briefly before stirring again and going still.

The oldest man placed another kiss on the opposite side of his jaw then his right temple before he brought his mouth to his ear and called his name again in that deep southern drawl of his.

Daryl's eyes started to flicker open and Rick could see baby blue eyes scanning his surroundings for a moment.

When they landed on him tied up against the wall on the far side of the room his eyes widened in shock and he started to roll off the bed to get to him but Negan's right arm planted a few inches from his side made him stop realizing he they weren't alone.

Easing flat on his back once again fearful eyes met with Negan's and a strangled yelp escaped him. 

Daryl was immediately on his stomach trying to crawl out form beneath the older man. 

Negan bracketed his hips with his thighs using his weight to try to pin the other man down. 

“No! Get off me!” 

Rick's eyes watered at both the sound of the desperation and the amount of fright that filed his friend's eyes. 

“Woah now, I haven't even done anything yet.” Negan stated with a roll of his eyes. 

Both men seemed to underestimate the redneck's current strength because when Daryl's elbow came back and got Negan right in the ribs the man went tumbling off the side of the bed beside the wall and Rick let out a cry of surprise. The loud 'oof' as Negan hit the floor was followed by a sting of curses.

Daryl let out a yelp as he rolled off the opposite side of the bed to land on the hardwood floor.

Fresh tears sprang from Rick's eyes as he watched Daryl begin to try to crawl not towards the door but to where he sat helpless to defend him. 

_'Daryl no, go out the door I can't stop him if he tries to hurt you again!'_ his mind screamed angrily.

By the time Daryl reached him Negan's wheezing from the winding blow had subsided and he was steadily rising to his feet. 

Rick watched as Daryl practically climbed into his lap in order to pull the fabric free from his mouth.

He had to force himself to keep his voice low, god he was so damn angry. 

“Daryl you need to-”

The redneck's hysterical voice cut him off, “Please! Don' let him do this to me! Make him stop Rick!” 

More tears spilled down the man's face, what he wouldn't give to do just that.

Negan's fist tangled into Daryl's hair and the man let out a mewl of pain as he dragged him off of him to toss him onto the floor. The older man shot him a glare before turning his back to advance on Dixon again to his surprise though Negan turned back around and stared right at him with a wicked grin.

It was one of those looks that tells you someone just had an idea, kind of like when he and Shane were kids and Shane decided they'd go cow tipping and the look on his face was like he'd had the best damn idea in the world.

Even though it was a bad idea.

Suddenly Negan was all up in his personal space, crouching in front of him and leaning in to speak to him privately.

“I just had an idea Rick. How about you do it?”

Rick's eyes widened in horror and crimson flushed all over his face as he shook his head.

Negan patted him on the head and he felt the cool blade of a knife slicing through his restraints as he spoke again, “Well then I'll word it like this… you are going to fuck him right now or I will do it myself and then I'll blow his motherfucking brains out.”

“Mo'fucker! G-Go 'head and shoot me then!” Daryl's voice surprised them both and Negan grit his teeth to control that temper, Daryl's words went ignored as he continued to speak to Rick quietly.  
“And after I'd kill your boy too, maybe rape that widow… she's fresh meat.”

Rick swallowed nervously and reluctantly responded with a soft “Okay.” 

“Good man. I look at it as playing marriage counseling. I'm mending relationships! Feels like I'm hooking up two high schoolers for prom!” Negan chortled and slapped his thigh for a moment thinking he was fucking hilarious.

Daryl's eyes were wide in absolute horror and oh hell that look hurt, Rick felt like he was dying as those baby blue eyes stared at him like he was some sort of monster.

Tears welled up in his own eyes again trying to find his voice to speak to the younger man as he approached.

“Daryl...”

Daryl scuttled backward across the floor clear to the wall, wanting absolutely nothing to do with this whole thing.

Negan perched himself on the dresser and whistled softly to himself as he watched the scenario unfold, sick fucker.

It wasn't long before Rick had Daryl backed up against the corner of the room and the man totally broke down as soon as he knelt in front of him. 

“N-No… no Rick…. Not you too man…. Please don't… ain't like you have ta... just let him kill me… please...” 

Rick cupped the right side of his face and touched their foreheads together, “No… I… I'm not going to let him kill you Daryl.” 

“Please don't do this to me Rick… I don't… I just… p-please … I can't do it again… it… I-it hurt …. so bad...” 

He shushed the man softly and let out a sigh, “I promise I'll be as gentle as I can, if it starts to become too much for you just tell me and I'll do what I can.”

A heart wrenching sob tore from Daryl's throat as he shook his head desperately and Rick felt awful.

“Daryl, this is going to happen whether either of us likes it or not. Please don't make this any harder than it has to be, I really don't want to hurt you.” 

The emotional brutality of the words that Rick had just spoken aloud made Negan let out an impressed whistle from where he sat and Rick was so tempted to tell the man to screw off or glare at him but he didn't he continued to stare at his broken friend who stared with devastated eyes. 

As soon as Rick saw the tears of defeat, pain, anger, and absolute anguish he wrapped his arms around the younger man who hesitantly returned the embrace after a moment.

He tried to ease the distress by stroking his hair, caressing a cheek here and there, cooing softly to him basically anything he could think of to soothe a small child. 

This was just fucking sad.

“Rick-” Daryl managed to gasp out before he was interrupted by a sob. 

“Hm?” 

Daryl squeezed him tighter before he let his body sag against his and started to speak again in a timid voice “Ain't gonna be rough…?” 

“No, I'll be as gentle as I can.” he replied reassuringly.

“I have all day boys.” Negan sighed impatiently. 

Rick shot him a glare this time and Daryl leaned back with a sniffle and nodded slightly to his friend.

A sick feeling of relief even though he was about to …. god he couldn't even say it… flooded the deputy and he rose to his feet. 

Daryl reached his arms up to him from where he sat in a heap upon the floor, “Help me up man.” 

As out of character as it was, Daryl Dixon asking for fucking help, that damn fucking ego that gave Rick headaches at times, Rick complied even though honestly there was no way he was going to let Daryl pull himself back onto that bed, for god's sake his injuries. 

Hence another one of the handful of reasons why he didn't want to do what he was going to do in a few minutes. 

Rick helped Daryl back over to the bed with a bit of effort more so when it came to trying to get the wounded man back into it.

When Daryl's back hit the covers and Rick could feel the man start to tremble against him and his heart throbbed painfully in his chest he felt awful. 

He placed a gentle hand on his cheek and shushed him softly, “It's alright Daryl.” 

Glassy blue eyes blinked up at him and Rick could hear his breath hitch violently in his throat. 

“You can do this.” 

Hands were suddenly pushing frantically against his chest in attempts to push him off, but Rick remained planted on top of him grabbing Daryl's hands in his own and pinning them above his head. 

“No! I changed my mind! Rick I can't! Please don't!” 

The words stung Rick all the way to his core, god he wished he had another option... or another option that was at least acceptable. 

“Shh, we have to do this or he's going to kill-”

“Ain't! He keeps making the same threats but-”

A shot rang out and a bullet grazed Rick's shoulder causing the man to cry out, blood spattered across Daryl's face when the blood sprayed. 

Rick let out a groan, taking a deep breath as he tried to recompose himself.

Negan was suddenly kneeling right by the bed on Daryl's side, eyes leering into terrified blue. “I ain't fucking playing anymore. I suggest you get your chicken shit ass in gear because I will kill one of you in about thirty damn seconds if this doesn't get fucking started.”

He didn't' even wait for a response he simply walked back over to the dresser and perched himself on top of it again, sinister eyes watching them with a deadly intent.

Rick sucked in a breath and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment trying to deal with his chaotic mess of thoughts.

Daryl was about to tell Rick to get it over with when the man's hands were suddenly fiddling with his belt and in a few moments Rick had his pants off and was tossing them to the floor.

His friend wasn't wearing boxers and Daryl mentally asked himself how the fuck he could stand the chaffing, however he could clearly see that the man wasn't looking forward to this either he wasn't aroused in the slightest. 

Rick used some bandages that had been on the night stand to wipe the blood and some tears off the redneck's face. “It's okay. It's just me in the room alright? Ignore him.” 

“Aww, how rude.” Negan whined mockingly, like he gave a shit.

When Daryl turned his head to the other man Rick grabbed his face and turned it back to him, “Ignore him, just you and me brother.” 

Finally he got a reluctant nod and Rick felt a sick sense of accomplishment it made his gut twist with vertigo. 

“I'll try to make this quick and if it starts to hurt you tell me and I'll stop so you can catch your breath.” 

“I don't want you to do this… n-not… not like...this..”

The last words seemed to go unnoticed by the other man judging by his response, “I know, I don't either and I want you to be strong for me. I know you've been through hell lately, just…. Try to think of someone else, someone you've been with before.”

Tears trickled from redneck's eyes at the words and Rick was confused, did he say something wrong? Daryl's a good looking guy, he's sure to have slept with people before. Christ with how Merle acted around the ladies he probably challenged the boy to go after em too. 

Dary started to speak and his voice was barely a whisper so Rick leaned forward having got the hint that it was personal. 

“A-Ain't.”

“What?” 

“I… ain't ever been with someone, 's just always been me.”

Rick blanched and shot a passive glare over his shoulder to the asshole sitting on the dresser.

So the evil bastard took the man's virginity too?!

Honestly he was not expecting Daryl Dixon to be a virgin, like that was a total home-run out of the ball park to him. Like holy hell that was a surprise. 

He swallowed nervously and gave Daryl his attention again, “Okay, that's okay I'll help you.” 

Rick pulled at the hem of Daryl's boxers pausing for a moment to wait for a reluctant nod from the redneck telling him to continue, and he did easing them all the way down to pull them off his ankles. 

Daryl choked on a sob and the ex-cop decided to take a moment to try to soothe him some maybe find some way to get him to relax so he wasn't so tense. 

Basically he'd come to the conclusion that his top priority right now trying to make sure Daryl wasn't scared of him, he needed the man to trust that he wasn't doing this to hurt him that that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Cupping Daryl's face in his palms he brought their foreheads together using his thumbs to wipe away some more tears, “Shh, it's okay. Don't cry man.” 

“M'sorry...” 

It was Rick's turn to be a bit stunned by an apology he already knew why he was apologizing and it broke his heart, he'd seen it before in some of the occasional rape cases he'd worked in his years on the force.

“You have nothing to be sorry for Daryl.” 

Negan cleared his throat making it clear that he was getting impatient. 

Rick looked into Daryl's fearful baby blue eyes and lowered his voice so that only the redneck could hear. “Do you trust me?” 

After a few moments of silence Daryl gave him a hesitant nod, Rick nodded in acknowledgment. “Okay.”

He leaned forward and let his lips meet the other man's which released a small squeak of surprise into his mouth. 

Daryl's eyes had blown wide and Rick stared into the wild blue for a moment before sliding a hand behind his friend's head to card through his hair affectionately.

When he finally ended the kiss he moved downward leaving a trail of kisses down his jaw, neck, collar bone, chest, stomach, continuing southward. 

His hands explored the man's body being mindful of the still healing gunshot wound, running over the prominent patch of dark chest hair that decorated his body, tan skin, and many of the gnarled lines of scar tissue that made Daryl Dixon feel so flawed. 

Rick finally made his way down to the man's dick which was beginning to show the first signs of arousal. 

_'Apparently I'm doing something right.'_

The wild yelp of surprise that came from Daryl's mouth the moment his tongue touched his dick and was accompanied by Daryl's sudden crushing grip on his hand which he offered a reassuring squeeze in response. 

He let his eyes wander up to Daryl's face which was now sporting a faint flush before he took the man into his mouth.

Daryl inhaled sharply at the sensation of his dick being wrapped in a hot moist warmth as Rick continued to go down on him, feeling his tongue wrapping around the shaft here and there, licking the vein that ran against the underside of the organ. 

Rick's hands were still mapping his body rubbing soothing circles into his skin here and there.

He could feel himself getting more and more aroused just by staring at Rick as he worked on the blow job, the face full of concentration but at the same time there was a wariness that ghosted his handsome features too. 

**~ Alexandria Gate ~**

“What the fuck!? Shit they're here already?” Aaron growled angrily as he slammed on the breaks parking the car and swinging the truck door open.

Carl gulped as he recognized Simon and Dwight sitting outside the gate with Michonne, Maggie, and Spencer as awkward company. 

They weren't doing anything but they sure as hell looked nervous. 

Simon raised a gun as soon as they got out of the car. 

“Well, look whose here, doctor Harlan what brings you here.” 

Harlan greeted him with an awkward nod, “Just checking on the neighbors.” he muttered. 

The savior flashed him a sick twisted grin, “Yeah? Well, that might be a good idea. I hear Negan really did a number on that hillbilly.”

Dwight shot a glare to his colleague, “Hey Simon, shut up.” 

“What? Oh come on D, don't be like that.” 

“We don't have time for this.” Carl hissed, moving to walk through the gate but Simon stopped him when he took aim. 

“Ah, ah. Sit. Negan's having a talk with Rick, says he doesn't want to be interrupted. Less you want me to put a hole in between your… eye… 'd suggest you sit your ass down kid.”

**~ X X X ~**

“Daryl, I'm gonna start to prepping you now, try to make this less painful for you as possible, that alright?” Rick asked in a soft voice.

The redneck just nodded head lolling to the side eyes sliding shut lazily. 

Rick finally coaxed the other man to relax a few moments ago and with Daryl splayed out so nicely as he was it made the horrid act he was being forced to preform a lot easier. 

He let his left hand run down Daryl's tail bone reassuringly for a moment before he poised his middle finger against his entrance. 

Daryl flinched violently at the touch and started to try to shy away from him but he put a stop to that with another gentle kiss against his stubbled jaw. 

“Relax, deep breath in and deep breath out.” 

When he heard Daryl inhale through his nostrils he started to press his finger forward slowly. 

Rick bit his lip, the passage was so hot and almost unbearably tight, muscles clamping down on his digit with full resistance.

Taking a deep breath he met his friend's gaze, god he looked like a deer staring into headlights.

“Daryl, brother you need to stop this now. I know it feels weird and I know you're scared but you can't fight it. You need to relax for me so I can do this or it's going to hurt a hell of a lot worse and I really don't want to hurt you.” 

The other man let out a strangled sob but Rick could see he was trying so hard to compose himself, he could already feel the muscles loosening up on him as the man started to breathe deeply though his nose. 

“That's it.” Rick speared his finger in as far as it could go occasionally taking a glance up at Daryl to make sure he was doing okay.

He continued with this for several moments he wanted to make sure he did this right.

The ex cop had to admit even he was stunned when one particular wiggle of his finger deep inside the man's body suddenly made Daryl's hips jut forward and he arched his back as a loud keen tore free from his lips. 

Rick looked up, Daryl's eyes were blown wide and his face was a pretty shade of rosy red, his mouth hung open as he stared at Rick in complete shock.

He repeated the movement and when he got a similar result he concluded that he'd found what he was looking for.

 _'Well I found it I guess.'_

Daryl was writhing against his hand now and Rick felt heat rushing to his own face now suddenly realizing that at some point he had become extremely aroused by what he was doing.

Deciding it was time to put an end to this, Rick pulled his finger free and Daryl whined softly but then a yelp tore from his throat again as he felt Rick line himself up with his hole.

Rick silenced his cries by initiating a kiss afterward he rest his forehead against the redneck's. “It's alright, we'll take this slow okay.” 

A tear dripped off of Daryl's face as he nodded in response. 

Rick felt awful.

He pushed forward and Daryl's hands shot to his hips, chewed on nails digging deeply into his skin when Rick hissed in pain they fell back down to the mattress but the body beneath him started to tremble. 

“Shh, it's okay Daryl you can hold me if you want to.” he whispered into his friend's ear comfortingly. 

Daryl made no indication at first that he'd heard him but when he finally got the head of his dick inside he felt muscled arms grab him again this time trying to pull him closer.

Rick ran a hand through Daryl's hair stopping for a moment so that he could let Daryl adjust he took the wiggle of the man's hips a sign to keep going so that's what he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Phew* Omg I worked so hard on this one. Please lemme know what you guys think!! <3 <3 <3 Don't worry there'll be a little bit of smut in the next chapter too, not a whole lot but some in the beginning.


	14. Chapter 13

“You alright?” Rick asked, stopping abruptly when he felt Daryl's trembling increase against him once he'd completely sheathed himself inside his body.

A small croak was the response he received at first, but a few seconds later he got a nod. 

“M'fine… go 'head and get it over with.” 

Rick nodded in understanding wrapping a lean arm around the redneck's waist holding the man tenderly against him he began to move. 

He'd always known he was different than his brother, than their old man. … most the men in the neighborhood he grew up around. 

It 'wasn't normal' for a guy to find another guy attractive that's what Merle and pa used to say. Pa tried to beat it outta him once and that was one beating that still haunted him to this day. 

Sure he'd found a lot of woman attractive before! He'd even had a couple dates that never really ended up going anywhere. Honestly he could be attracted to both sexes really, Rick was by no means hard on the eyes quite the contrary in fact he was very pleasing, to his eyes anyways. 

He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about their friendship in more than friendship terms at times, wondering if it'd work out. Rick didn't see him like that though from what he observed. More like a brotherly relationship between them, but like he said he had thought of potential before. 

The sheriff was one of the few people… well now the only person who was capable of making him feel like he was safe. That authoritative aura about him that protective heroism, the gentle kind soul that was Rick Grimes could really allow him to relax and not feel on guard all the time. 

Daryl bit down on his lip to keep back a small mewl against one particular thrust from the other man, that one actually hurt but he didn't want Rick to feel any worse than he did so he instead tried to remain silent.

He did however let his muscled arms wrap around Rick's broad chest snaking between his arms so he could cling to the man tightly and bury his tear stained face into his warm fuzz covered body. 

Rick's other hand found it's way into his hair and he apologized softly in his ear, he must have picked up that he was being too rough just by his reaction.

The other man's hips stuttered for a moment then stopped and he could feel Rick shifting his angle a bit, likely trying to see if he could find a way to make this easier for him. 

Just when Daryl was about to protest Rick started again with a swift snap of his hips. 

Stars flashed across Daryl's vision and the noise that he heard escape his mouth made heat radiate up his neck and face. 

Christ did he make that?

When his friend repeated the action he bit down on his lip pressing his face into the man's chest again to try to stifle another similar sound that tore from his throat. 

Rick finally took note that Daryl's terrified trembling finally ceased. 

He let out a relieved sigh and spoke soothingly to the younger man, “There we go. That's it.” 

Placing a gentle hand on the back of Daryl's neck he kissed his jawline affectionately nuzzling into the soft flesh of his neck. 

Another thrust in particular had Daryl writing against him hips pushing back on him as he moaned loudly beneath him and god Rick felt like he was going crazy because he thought that was the most beautiful noise he'd ever heard the man make. 

Deciding to let his hands wander a bit one found the base of the man's neck fingers ghosting over the spot below his hairline faintly intending to keep moving down when suddenly the arms surrounding him tightened their hold and he could have sworn he felt Daryl's whole body shudder beneath him in response and his breath hitched in a shocked yet pleased gasp. 

Undeniably intrigued, Rick moved his fingers back up to the base of his neck massaging small circles with his fingertips, Daryl's body arched up against his and Rick took note of this… why he didn't know. 

He leaned down and brought his mouth close to the redneck's ear, letting his fingernails trace over the apparent sensitive spot on his neck again earning another shaky inhale and some panting. 

“What? You like that?” he panted, he was getting close and he had a feeling Daryl was too. 

Daryl's breath hitched and he let out a shaky exhale afterward, “Uh.. u-uh huh….”

Rick hmmed softly, when Daryl came beneath him with a loud moan his hips pressing up against him as he painted white across both their stomachs, his body spasming for a few seconds afterward from the effects of a powerful orgasm.

He came inside Daryl not even a few seconds later and he collapsed on top of him, panting heavily as exhaustion started to seep in from the exercise. 

“Well now, that was worth the wait.” Negan's masculine voice came form his spot on the dresser. 

Rick looked over at the man with a scowl, he was so fucking irritated. 

“Shit, you fucked him so hard that he passed the fuck out afterward.” 

Startled Rick turned to Daryl and indeed was met with the man's sleeping face. 

_'Poor Daryl he's just exhausted.'_

Negan stood up and stretched his arms above his head, letting out a pleased noise as he let his muscles flex. 

“Well the boys got things loaded up already. When I want a job done they don't waste any fucking time, yeah? Suppose I got what I came for now, so I'll be on my way, got wives to fuck when I get home.” he chuckled. 

Rick didn't say a word, just nodded idly to whatever the fuck said so he'd shut his damn mouth and go, which he did eventually. 

Now he let the tears flow, Daryl was asleep so he knew he wouldn't see them and with that bastard gone he was finally allowed to silently let out his frustration. He ran his fingers through Daryl's dark hair absentmindedly as he whispered out apologies.

He didn't know how long he laid there on top of the other man he had a feeling he'd drifted to sleep on on top of him at one point, but he did know that he was woken up by a tentative knock on the door.

The door creaked open and in walked Carl, who froze on spot and a sudden flash of anger shot into his son's eyes. 

“Dad what the hell did you do?!” he whispered in a vicious snarl. 

Rick quickly pulled the blankets over Daryl and turned to Carl with desperation in his eyes. 

“Negan made me…” he couldn't finish as he choked on a sob, he turned and pressed Daryl's forehead to his own and cried. 

Carl stood there a bit at a loss of what to do, until he heard Harlan clear his throat behind him it was then that he finally remembered the reason why they came back. 

“Dad, we brought Doctor Harlan.. he needs to look at him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. I'm working on another Walking Dead fic in between this one. It's my second one and it's gonna be a short fanfic just a couple chapters but if you're interested feel free to check it out. 
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/8131385


	15. Chapter 14

Aaron let out a yawn when he felt Eric jerk in surprise lifting his head from where it had previously been laying on his chest. 

"Mm, that the door?" he yawned again.

"Yeah sounds like it."Eric replied as he lifted himself off of his larger body which was splayed across the couch where the two had decided to take a nap.

He let out a low groan at the loss of extra warmth, tempted to reel him back in but instead left a kiss on the back of his hand before letting him answer the unexpected knock.

Eric smiled cheekily before turning his back to his lover and approached the front door.

Aaron let his eyes slip shut still feeling the hints of fatigue, he was absolutely exhausted honestly.

The door clicked as Eric unlocked it and opened it to their visitor.

A shocked gasp from his lover caused the other man to bolt into a sitting position in alarm. “Maggie?”

When Aaron heard the name spoken by Eric with such unease it wasn't even seconds later that he had joined his lover's side to greet the woman.

The sight of her though, he wasn't prepared for. 

Her eyes were red and puffy from crying with fresh tears still accompanying them, her hair was disheveled, her body was sweaty and pale.

Aaron swallowed nervously, he had a feeling something bad had happened. “Maggie what's the matter?” 

The young woman's lip quivered and she let out an involuntary whimper before suddenly throwing herself against his chest and into his arms sobbing intensely. 

Both men just stood there awkwardly as they tried to think of what could have caused a reaction like this from their friend.

“Oh Aaron…. I-…. I...” 

He shushed her and ran his fingers through her hair as he walked her over to the couch to sit down. 

It took a while for her to be able to try to stifle the sobs but both men waited patiently sitting with her and trying to comfort the distraught female. 

Eventually she took a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak again even though at first all that came out was a small keen she finally forced out the words. 

“I-I… lost the baby.” 

As soon as the words were uttered she broke down again as both lovers were struck with horror. 

Aaron's arms wrapped around her tightly again as he let his chin rest on top of her hair, “Oh Maggie no…”

She just nodded in response trying not to choke on her own breath with the intensity of her sobs, “Doctor Harlan thinks… thinks it was stress…. “

 

**~ X X X ~**

 

Carl huffed as he walked the one block journey over to Aaron and Eric's place, kicking a rock in the middle of the path as he went. He was filled with so much anger right now, god he was so pissed at his dad.

The boy knew why his dad did it, obviously, he didn't exactly have a choice in the matter. He knew the only weakness his dad would give into, cave and do what he did, an action that in the past he worked to prevent and bring justice to the assholes who committed such an act, was if Negan threatened to kill someone.

A bitter laugh tore from his throat after he let his mind drift to the thought a moment ago.

His father Rick Grimes was a man of the law before the dead started walking, a Sheriff in fact and very well respected on the force where they lived and even several of the surrounding areas. 

The fact that during all the years on the force he knew his dad had seen things that still made his sleep restless. Stopped robberies, high speed chases, murders. Investigated homicide, child abuse cases, rape cases, kidnappings all sorts of stuff. 

He found it so fucking hilarious, how ironic it was that his dad committed one of the most heinous acts that he formerly worked so hard to find justice for or prevent if possible.

That humor he found in it was nothing close to please amusement though, no he found it a dark sort of humor that pissed him off and caused spite to roll in his guts. He wanted to beat the shit out of his dad, scream at him for being so stupid, hurtful, and selfish. 

Yeah, that's right selfish. He knew his dad's intentions weren't to hurt, but Carl had seen first hand what that fuckhead Negan did to their friend, to Daryl. 

Daryl who was such deep down already such a broken man as it was. The flinches they had all grown so accustomed to seeing when someone touched him, that mask that he wore so valiantly to hide years of emotional pain. 

Sweet Daryl who was a kind, caring, surprisingly selfless man. Who may seem like a hard ass but deep down he was one of the most empathetic people you could possibly find.

Something so rare for the world they lived in today.

Negan would have killed Daryl, he got that he really did, but he also knew Daryl would have rather died than let what happened to him happen in the first place.

He loved Daryl, they all did, he meant so much to their group and losing him would have been devastating as it is but frankly Carl was starting to wonder if losing him would have been better than having the shivering wreck their redneck had been returned as.

Could he really heal from this? He wasn't sure, but his dad's choice on that matter wasn't going to make it any easier!

His thoughts ceased as he finally realized he'd been standing in front of Aaron and Eric's door for a few minutes now dealing with his internal chaos.

Just as he was about to knock he the door opened and he stood frozen as he saw Maggie standing there with tears on her face and Aaron and Eric sitting on the couch inside looking sad. 

“Maggie… wha-” 

Carl was cut off when the woman was suddenly embracing him, holding his head tenderly against her chest as she sobbed hysterically. 

After a few moments just listening to the awful noises that came from his friend he visibly paled and let his arms wrap around her. When Maggie's knees buckled beneath her he let himself sink to the ground with her and sat with her silently as she continued. 

He knew. 

The awful heart wrenching sounds that he'd eventually identified as mourning having heard them so many times the past four years… from so many people, friends, family, enemies.. his dad... he understood what happened. 

Negan was going to pay for this.

**~ Rick's House ~**

Rick sat anxiously across the room as he watched doctor Carson continue to examine Daryl's injuries as he had been for the past twenty minutes. 

As soon as Carl had directed them he had stomped off, that was about an hour ago. Rosita had a nice long talk with doctor Carson to get him up to speed on what she'd done for the redneck already. 

Finally the doctor let out a sigh and turned around looking at Rick with a bit of unease. 

The sheriff sat up straight in his chair looking at him with intense worry. “What is it? Can you help him?” 

Harlan hesitated obviously trying to think of how to word what he was going to say.

“That bullet wound was on the verge of becoming septic, if that young lady hadn't have given him the antibiotics when she did he would be gone already. She told me that she gave him Augmentin to help try to prevent him from developing sepsis and it helped to a degree, however, I do recommend giving him a dose of Penicillin or something similar.” 

Rick paled a little at the statement unease settling onto his face. “I don't think we-”

Harlan placed a hand on Rick's shoulder and offered a charming smile, “Not to worry, I brought something with me as a bit of a thank you for what you did for us. From your boy's description of Daryl's injuries, I had come to the conclusion that the possibility of a sepsis was likely so I packed a high dose of Metronidazole.”

The other man slumped back in his chair with a relieved sigh and let his face rest in his hands.

“I don't know how to thank you enough doctor.” 

“Just make sure you don't tell Gregory.” Carson replied with a chuckle and Rick nodded in response.

However he noticed that the playfulness was suddenly gone from the doctor's eyes just as quick when he leaned against the side table. 

“There's something else I need to talk to you about too.”

Rick swallowed he had a feeling he knew what the subject would be.

Harlan looked over his shoulder to where Daryl lay with his lower body covered with the bed sheets.

The law man followed his gaze and he found tears coming to his eyes just at the sight of Daryl's beaten body and the thoughts of what his friend had been through at the hands of such a monster.

“Negan… did something awful to him… I… I did something awful to him...”

“No,” Harlan's voice was sharp and firm as he spoke catching Rick's attention, “, as a doctor who treats the sick and tries to save lives I won't tell you that what you did was good because that's far from it. That being said, I will be honest and tell you that if I had been in your shoes… I would have done the same thing. I'd much rather trusted myself to cause less physical harm on him than someone like Negan who catches the thrills off of causing pain and fear. If Negan had done this to him again, I doubt the man would have lived. His blood-pressure is extremely high, I don't think he could have handled that.” 

Rick didn't respond as he cast his gaze to the carpet and when neither man spoke a tense silence filled the room and finally doctor Harlan let out a sigh. “Has anyone been able to check how bad the damage is?” 

“No, no one has been able to get close to him without him freaking out. I was surprised he even let me get close to him like he did.” 

Harlan nodded as he took in the information, “I think we better take advantage of his sleeping state to find out if there's anything else I should know about, would you help me?” 

“Of course.” Rick replied quickly as he rose from his chair to join the doctor's side.  
Carson grabbed the top of the dark blue sheets that were giving Daryl his modesty and paused for a moment. Rick mentally noted how the doctor took a deep breath trying to steel himself for the sight he was going to see. 

The man eased the fabric off their redneck's body and let them rest at the foot of the bed, he let out an exhale seeing the dark bruising on the man's thighs. 

“I'm going to need you to help me… position him.” he fumbled over his words and Rick didn't blame him he himself felt the intense awkwardness of the situation.

Rick nodded idly and helped the man adjust Daryl's legs, parting the bruised thighs as best he could while trying to mindful his injuries. 

Doctor Carson leaned forward on the bed so he could be more at level with Daryl's body using shaking fingers to prod gently at the wounds.

“He's got some tearing, I expected that already thankfully it doesn't look like anything is infec-”

Harlan was cut off as he went flying backward when a wild leg kicked him in the face. 

“Noo!” Rick jerked in surprise realizing from the panicked scream that Daryl had woken up and was trying to get away.

Rick quickly moved up to console the redneck who was trying to strike at him or anything in his wild panic.

He managed to grab both the man's wrists moving to hold them in one hand with a bit of effort. 

“No! Ge'offa me!” the redneck screamed in protest when the sheriff tried to pull him closer.

“Daryl, hey… hey man look at me.” Rick spoke as calmly as he could while he tried to still his friend's panicked thrashing. 

Harlan was next to him again blood was dripping off his chin from a split lip as he tried to help still the wounded man's body. 

The doctor made it his task to hold the man's flailing legs down using his and the situation was quickly becoming overwhelming for the redneck.

Daryl started spewing profanities and was trying his hardest to gain the use of his hands again, Rick eventually found himself bring his friend's hands to his chest and holding them firmly against his sweaty skin. 

“Let go of me! I'mma kill you!!” 

“Just relax, no one wants to hurt you, I was just trying to treat your injuries.” 

Rick noticed how Daryl's ears pricked at the unfamiliar voice and the small whine that tore from his brother's throat.  
“No! Rick! Rick help!” 

That was his cue and Rick shushed the man softly trying to force himself into Daryl's line of view trying to make some eye contact.

He kept his grip on Daryl's wrists tight with one hand and used his other to cup the man's face running his thumb underneath his right eye.

“Shh, shh… hey right here man, I'm right here.” 

Daryl seemed to quiet a little bit when he finally met Rick's face. “R-Rick he-”

“You remember Doctor Carson from Hilltop, yeah?” 

Deep blue eyes shifted between Rick and Harlan nervously but a light tap on the cheek from Rick made him become his soul focus and the struggles ceased.

“Don't want 'im touchin' me...”

Rick let out a sigh, “Hey now, he's just trying to help, it's okay. 

The redneck seemed to start squirming again and the doctor must have picked up on something he didn't because he gave into Daryl's uneasiness and let go stepping away from the bed to retrieve something out of his coat pocket. 

Upon seeing the syringe Daryl let out a panicked cry and tried again to get away but Rick held him fast.

“Just antibiotics for that chest wound, that's the only thing I have left to do but maybe.. you'd feel more comfortable if Rick did it and I left?”

The struggles stopped completely and Daryl seemed to ponder the idea in his head, that was all the reaction Rick needed to agree with the man.

“I think that would be a good idea, thank you doctor.” the sheriff said with a nod.

“Alright, just make sure you get this stuff in a vein we want it to start working as fast as it can.” 

Harlan set the syringe down on the night stand and gave Rick a pat on the shoulder before he left the room. 

After the door clicked shut Rick felt Daryl tremble under his touch and looked down curiously to find the redneck had his face buried in the side of the pillow as his shoulders shook. 

Immediately alarm flooded his thoughts, did he accidentally hurt him with how tight he'd held his wrists? Did he bump something? Harlan hadn't been too rough had he? 

“Daryl?” 

His friend took a shuddering breath before a sob tore from his throat and he leaned his forehead against Rick forearm. 

“I-I thought… I thought h-he were gonna… m'sorry….”

Rick felt tears pricking at his eyes as he released Daryl's wrists to wrap his arms around the man instead. 

“No one's gonna hurt you like that again I promise, not while I'm here.”

After a few moments of silence, Rick taking time to calm his best friend down and bring him back from the awful thoughts Daryl broke the silence.

“Y'all think ya can protect me from Negan.”

When he failed to find the words to respond torn between their harsh reality and his loyalty to his friend, the sheriff found baby blues staring into his eyes with a sharp seriousness that reminded him much of how Daryl used to be before this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know I killed Glenn and Maggie's baby, but hey I never said this was gonna be no happy fic did I? I'm trying to focus on causing as much havok and trauma on these poor people as I can. I'm sorry for the long wait, just got back from a week at my boyfriends basically I hijacked his computer two of the days I was there and worked on it when he was playing Destiny or at work. lol. I hope the wait was worth it, don't worry we're gonna see Rick's feelings start to get on a roll here pretty soon. 
> 
> As always feeedback is always lovely! and it's 3:300 in the morning and I am going to bed. G'night lovlies


	16. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is going to take place in the past, I would put it as a flashback but since we see it from a bit of both views I'm just going to make this a chapter that is a break from the present. As I've mentioned to a few of you one of my main focuses on this story is trying to bring out all that trauma from all the shit our favorite redneck has had to endure. 
> 
> THIS CHAPTER Is gonna have some mildly graphic / graphic child abuse you have been warned!!

Daryl couldn't help but flinch when he felt the law man's large hand set heavily on the back of his neck as he opened the door to the back seat of his patrol car.

“It's alright son.” 

He'd tried to run, just grab some things and leave this hellhole he had to call home for good. 

Made to the third town next door before he got caught by the Sheriff who had recognized him. He'd gotten so far this time, so close.

The teen could tell the sheriff was new appointed the job, he'd been familiar with the old sheriff but this one was different.

He was a tall man probably about 5'11, very muscular obviously very athletic, with short jet black hair that was spiked up in the front. To Daryl what stood out the most about the man honestly really intrigued the young man it was something he'd never seen before. Two different colored eyes the left a bright crystal blue and the other was a light minty green. 

Daryl had heard of people having different color eyes before from his friend Ronnie but he wasn't sure if the kid was bullshitting him or not. 

The young man squirmed nervously in his seat as he watched the officer climb into the driver's seat and start the vehicle. 

For several minutes they drove awkwardly in complete silence except for the static and occasional traffic on the police scanner.

“What's your name son?”

Daryl looked at the man through the grate that separated the front seat from the back seat but he said nothing he wasn't planning on it either. It wasn't like the man didn't know it anyways he did recognize him as a missing person after all.

He cast his eyes to the window to observe the scenery for the 200 mile drive they had to make back to his home in the mountains.

“How about I tell you my name fir-”

The gentleness in the man's voice irritated him made him feel like a child and he weren't, so he couldn't help but snap angrily. “Ain't like y' don't know already.” 

He watched the man look into the rear-view mirror with his vibrant eyes spying him with a bit of surprise at his claim, but he could see a smile broaden on the officers face.

“Actually, I don't. The only thing I know about you is that a description matching yours was filed by a man living up in the mountains a couple days ago.”

Daryl slumped back in his seat and looked down at his lap feeling a bit bad for snapping at the man.

“Roland Blake.” 

The teen sat there debating with himself before he finally uttered his name quietly.

“You don't say? Is that spelled with 'r-e-l-l'?” 

Daryl scoffed, “Fuck no, D-a-r-y-l.” 

He heard the other man chuckle softly, “I got a Darell at home too.” 

That caught his attention he hadn't thought the man looked to be much more than twenty years old.

“Ya got kids?” 

A tense pause filled the car as Daryl watched the man mentally fight himself with giving personal information away to a kid. 

But he could also see something else in his eyes too. A sort of sadness… a pain that seemed very fresh on the surface.

Eventually Daryl figured he wouldn't get an answer but a few minutes later the man broke the silence.

“I have two boys, Darell and James.” 

“Don't look old 'nough to have kids.” he said softly drawing forth an amused chuckle from the law man.

The teen saw the man's mix matched eyes glance at him through the rear view mirror again. “How old do you think I am?” 

Daryl leaned over to the right peeking at the man around the driver's seat as best he could through the grate. 

“I dunno, twenty-three?” 

Roland chuckled again at his response, “Well you're very kind son. Naw, I'm thirty two.” 

The teen felt heat rise up his neck to his face at the 'kind' comment. “Don't look it none.” 

“That's a relief. Darell's fourteen probably a few years older than yourself-”

Daryl scoffed from the back seat. “Ain't, sixteen.” 

Roland laughed heartily and raised his hands in a surrender action. “Well excuse me.” 

A brief pause before the man continued talking about his kids. “Yeah and then little Jimmy is two weeks old.” 

Daryl looked around the vehicle and spotted a picture clipped onto the sun visor. 

Roland was standing half hunched forward from the weight of a young teen who appeared to have jumped on him from behind. The man's head was thrown back slightly as he laughed, one hand clutching at one of the long lanky arms that were wrapped around his neck and shoulders.

Daryl assumed the teen was the man's son who apparently shared the same name as him except it was spelled differently. He had a head of shaggy sandy blond hair and green eyes about the same shade as Roland's right eye, a grin spread across his face revealed prominent dimples.

By the two men's feet Daryl could see a woman stretched out on a blanket as she sat leaning back on her palms. 

The teen eyed the woman in the picture she was stunning. 

Golden blond hair so long that it actually left a small veil upon the surface of the blanket, he'd never seen hair so long, two bright blue eyes framed with long lashes, her plump lips were pulled back revealing a pearly white smile as she looked up at her husband and child. 

She looked like she was much shorter than Roland despite her long legs that seemed to go on forever and ended with two feet wearing brown leather sandals. With further observation he found the picture must be recent, her belly behind the light blue dress she wore was swollen with pregnancy.

He stop himself from asking. “ 's that your wife?” 

Through the mirror he saw Roland's eyes widen a bit and a flash of pain ghosted upon them before he cleared his throat and responded. “Yep that's my Rose.” 

“She's very pretty.” 

He saw the man smile at the comment but it wasn't one of happiness it was more sad and Daryl had a bad feeling that he may have upset the officer.

“Yes, she was the prettiest woman I'd ever laid eyes on.”

Daryl winced and quickly turned his gaze out the window, he felt bad now.

“M'sorry.” 

To his surprise Roland smiled at him, “Nah, you didn't know. I was just a little surprised. I'm still getting used to the fact that she's gone.” 

He was curious and he was tempted to ask but he knew better than to pry on such sensitive subjects.

To his surprise the man started to talk anyways. 

“Two weeks ago she was in a bad car accident the ambulance rushed her to the hospital but her wounds were too critical. The doctors had to make a choice they could only save one of them, but she was so busted up that they didn't know if she'd make it so they decided to save our baby if they could. He was a month and a half early. It was a drunk driving accident and though I'm a respectful lawman when it comes to the rules, I won't lie when I tell you that the man who got behind that wheel is lucky that he died in that crash. If you know what I mean.”

The whole while he spoke his voice was calm and composed and Daryl wondered how he could do that while explaining something so awful.

“Yeah, I get it… sorry for yer loss.” 

Another long awkward silence made the car ride seem suffocating until Roland spoke again.

“So what brings you all the way out here Daryl.” 

That was when he stopped talking. 

**~ X X X ~**

Oh he was in a shit load of trouble and he had a horrible feeling that his dad might actually kill him tonight.

Right now Will was still downstairs talking to Sheriff Blake he could hear them saying their goodbyes and his dad spewing fake thank yous every other sentence.

God he could put on a show when he needed to cover his ass.

His dad had told him to go up to his room and he'd talk to him later and he didn't argue he already knew he was gonna get a beating.

So here he sat on his bed chewing on his thumb with a mindful of frantically worried thoughts. 

When the door to his bedroom finally did open his head jerked up to look at his father who simply stood there leaning in the doorway with a bottle of moonshine in his hand.

He swallowed nervously as Will continued to stand there not saying a word glaring at him taking a swig of his alcohol every so often. 

They stared at each other for what seemed like forever before the man let go of the door frame turned and walked back downstairs without saying a word.

Daryl stared wide eyed, he wasn't quite sure what just happened he was expecting the man to yell, scream, throw him around beat the shit out of him, but he didn't he just looked at him and walked away.

Frozen in absolute shock Daryl listened intently as his father's heavy booted footsteps could be heard descending the old wooden steps. 

He didn't know how long he sat on that bed in dead silence, just waiting to hear his father coming back up those stairs but eventually he felt his exhaustion catch up with him and he was tempted to lay down and get some sleep.

Was that really a good idea? The whole situation seemed strange.

 _'Maybe he plans to do it tomorrow?'_

That couldn't be right it was only mid afternoon when Sheriff Roland and him reached the house, he had plenty of time to punish him. 

The teen sat there for a while longer before stretching out on his bed to at least let his sore muscles rest. 

Hell he'd been gone for almost seven days and had walked well over two hundred miles from home, constantly kept moving to get as far away as possible. 

Despite his attempts to stay awake eventually his world went to black as fatigue overpowered his senses. 

**~ X X X ~**

_'I'm going to make that boy sorry he was ever born!'_

Will Dixon was absolutely livid with his son, he didn't even know his son was missing to be honest. He was contacted by his stupid little brother who was constantly wondering where Daryl was. 

He was going to have words with his brother too.

Having a god damned pig show up at his door with his son, how fucking embarrassing that boy was gonna pay for this trouble he was going to make sure he never ran again once is is enough.

Unzipping the duffel bag he typically kept hunting supplies in, he poured the contents out on top of his bed and set the empty bag down as he scavenged around for what he knew he needed.

Tossing four of his various belts into it from his closet he moved into the bathroom attached to the master bedroom throwing open the medicine cabinet and tossing bottles and shit around while he searched for the first aid kit.

One bottle in particular he tossed aside he quickly started searching for again clearly finding something of interest. 

When he finally found he read the label for a moment taking a moment to think if it could be of use before shrugging his shoulders and tossing it into the bag. 

Will found the first aid kit and popped it open to dig around inside it til he found a small kit with various needles and thread on a small reel. Instructions for stitches were folded up on the side of it. 

He grabbed the kit and a few sterile pads and gauze in case he had to clean the boy up afterwards. Will Dixon may be a cruel abusive drunk of a parent but he wasn't about to get charged with murder if the boy died from infection. 

That was one thing he always was good about giving the boy medical attention afterwards if he knew he went to far. 

Tonight he knew he was going to lay a number on that ungrateful brat so he was just bringing precautions with him. 

**~ X X X ~**

Will crept up the top of the stairs where his youngest son's bedroom was located he knew the boy would probably be waiting for him so he was trying to be as quiet as possible. 

He clutched the small towel in his right hand tightly the man knew he had to do this just right. No he'd never used the shit before but he weren't stupid, he might have to wrestle with the boy for a few moments before he was out.

Now standing just outside the boy's bedroom door which to his relief was still open as he'd left it when he'd left the boy earlier he peeked around the corner. 

The man had to admit he was a little surprised to see Daryl stretched out on the bed laying on his back with one arm resting over his stomach and the other hanging off the side of the bed, his head was facing forward resting heavily on the pillow and he could hear the small breaths emitting in a steady rhythm as he slept.

Boy must have been tired. 

_'Good, because he ain't gonna wanna wake up any time soon after this 'gonna be hurtin' for weeks!'_ he fumed silently as he approached the bed with careful booted feet on the old carpet.

Daryl stirred slightly and Will froze staring down at his son ready to pounce in case he woke up. 

Instead he just let out a soft groan and grabbed one of the blankets to his left subconsciously pulling it over himself. 

Will took a deep breath as he got ready to pounce then with a couple swift movements he snagged a fistful of Daryl's hair jerking his head forward startling him awake in the process he quickly clamped the drugged cloth tightly over his mouth and nose.

The boy started to fight against him until he noticed who had woken him, however as soon as he noticed the cloth pressed up against his face his left arm swung up to shove at Will who climbed on top of him to try to keep him down.

Terrified and wide awake Daryl managed to bring his knee up and drive it into Will's stomach sending him tumbling off him and the bed to the floor. 

Daryl gasped for breath and was immediately bolting for the door the moment his bare feet hit the carpet. 

“Get yer ass back here!” he heard Will yell as he quickly moved into the hallway toward the stairs as fast as he could.

It wasn't long til he heard his father's heavy booted footsteps running after him as he descended the stairs. 

He didn't look once over his shoulder nor did he stop running he knew his dad was already on his tail. Just swung the front door open so hard it bounced off the wall and closed his foot in the door when it swung closed. 

It didn't hurt but it did cost him his balance and he fell face first onto the outside doormat the air was knocked from his chest with a loud huff. 

“Don't y' ever run from me boy!”

Daryl was flailing on the wooden floorboards of the porch desperately trying to scramble to his feet before his dad grabbed him but he couldn't breath! 

His dad swung the porch door open and he screamed. This was it he was going to die.

“Dad no! Please don't m'sorry I ain't gonna run again ever I swear!

Will's blue eyes were a fierce vortex as he stared at him red face and all as he shook with rage. I'm going to whoop yer ass so hard you ain't gonna lay down comfortably for weeks!” 

He was flipped over onto his back and Will was trying to pin him down. 

Tears poured from the teen's eyes as he sobbed hysterically he needed to get the hell out of here before the fucker killed him.

“No… stop! Help someone help m-” 

“Shut the fuck up ya piece'a shit! Don' chu ever pull that shit on me!”

His cries were cut off when Will hastily clamped the drugged cloth over his face again this time with a vicious strength fueled by adrenaline. 

With his left arm free Daryl brought it up and tangled a fist into his dad's short hair, pulling harshly as he tried to twist his face free. 

“Arrrgh!” Will growled letting his head move with Daryl's hold on his hair instead of pulling against it. 

He could feel himself becoming dizzy and he fought to keep his eyes open but with all 237 pounds of muscle and beer gut that was his dad crushing down on his smaller chest it was hard to move. That and his body wasn't wanting to listen to him with the rapidly increasing drowsiness. 

Eventually his world went black the last thing he'd seen was his father's angry storm blue eyes glaring at the side of his head.

**~ X X X ~**

When he finally started to come around his vision was blurred and all the noises around him seemed to cause a horrible thrumming to his sore head.

He let out a grunt his body felt cramped and sore with his arms stretched out high above his head.  
Wanting to rub his side he went to move his arm only to find that he couldn't move.

Fear flooding his senses Daryl looked up and found his hands were lashed tightly together with a leather belt holding them to a hook in the ceiling. It didn't take him long to realize why he felt so sore either when he found that he was hanging at least a foot off the ground. 

Wait hook in the ceiling? They had an old smoke house but that hadn't been used in ages. Is that where they were?

The blurriness was starting to fade away so he started to assess his situation. 

He was aware that there was something hard holding his mouth closed with a constricting grip around his head and when the distinct scent of real leather flooded his nostrils he assumed it was another one of his dad's belt. 

Where was his dad?

A blinding hot pain he was already more than familiar with startled him more than the loud cracking sound of leather striking bare skin.

Daryl squealed when the pain shot through the left side of his back and he was immediately trying to anxiously look over his shoulder, even though he knew who it was.

Will Dixon walked around front til he was in his line of view he leaned forward getting right in his personal space to tangle a large hand into his hair forcing him closer til their noses were almost touching.

“Y'all happy now boy? 's this how ya want me ta treat ya?” 

Oh god the deadly intent seeping into his dad's voice was enough to make the boy hysterical, plus he'd never seen his dad this furious… and he'd certainly never ever tied him up before rendering him completely defenseless against his beatings. 

The older man delivered a violent slap to his face the force causing his head to snap to the side where he left it not wanting to look at the man he called his father.

Will wasn't going to have any of that though he grabbed his chin and forced him to look into his furious blue eyes. “Well?! This what ya wanted?! Answer me boy!” 

The teen found himself unable to even try to hold back the tears that were already starting to leak from his eyes which made the panic increase in his head because he knew how the old man reacted when he would cry, which is why he tried his best not too.

Normally it took quite a bit for him to get emotional during their confrontations but he couldn't even help it right now, the man had rendered him completely at his mercy and having to see the man's violent temper display at a skyrocketing level that he'd never seen before... he was absolutely terrified. He let out a muffled cry shaking his head desperately, he didn't care if the fuck wad couldn't understand him he was going to do whatever he could to try to get the man to reconsider.

His dad stepped back raising his belt high over his head causing him to clench his eyes shut as he tried to brace himself for the blow.

Nonetheless a pained yelp escaped behind the belt that had been used as a makeshift gag. 

“Well guess boy? I didn't even know you was gone. Here I was mindin' my own business watchin' my show and here come a mother fuckin' pig draggin' yer ass to my doorstep! I ain't gonna tolerate you humiliatin' me boy and yer gonna be in so much pain after tonight, y'all gonna wish the little lady had listened to yer ol' man an' took a coat hanger to ya as soon as she found out she was pregnant!” 

**~ X X X ~**

This was it, the fucker was going to kill him. 

His dad had gotten him down from the hook about an hour ago to move their lesson in punishment to the floor. 

Daryl was covered in blood and ugly bruises, burn marks from his father's cigarettes littered his sides and stomach, lashes covered his entire body front and back some of them had even split the skin real bad those ones were the source of the large amounts of blood smeared about his body. 

Will had punched and kicked the shit out of him all over the place at one point he'd felt such an agonizing pain in his ribs that he actually lost control of his bladder and pissed all over himself and the floor. Of course his dad felt the need to try to humiliate him for that with vulgar names and shit while he continued to beat the snot out of him.

He was in so much pain, everything hurt and he felt light headed. 

The older man delivered one last brutal kick to his chest that knocked him flat on his back. 

Daryl felt the blood rise up his windpipe and he couldn't choke it back down he panicked when he realized that he couldn't expel the fluid with the man's belt still fastened tightly across his mouth. 

He couldn't move he couldn't breath.

A loud bang echoed through the medium sized smoke house and with his frazzled senses he was able to at least acknowledge the angered yells of two men fighting around him. 

**~ X X X ~**

“Jess, what'dya want? No ya know what? I want ya to get yer ass off my property ain't got nothin' to say to yer fucking face right now!” Will slurred with a dismissive wave of his hand whilst glaring at his younger half-brother ignoring his beaten son as if it was no big deal.

Jess's horrified eyes shifted from his older brother to his nephew lying on the ground bound and gagged beaten to a bloody pulp. 

“Dixon! What in the hell are ya doing!?” 

“Funny ya should ask Jess, had a sheriff show up at my place earlier. Said Daryl had run away and he was found over 200 miles away from here.”

Will took another swig from his moonshine and walked towards his son who Jess noticed was spasming on the ground, eyes bugged out as his neck and back tried to lurch forward. 

The man nudged Daryl with his foot, tapping the side of his head lightly and snickering cruelly to himself before turning back to his alcohol.

Jess observed Daryl's behavior for a moment more before panic started to set in and he was moving forward towards the boy.

_'Oh hell the boy's choking!'_

Will let out a feral growl and swung a nasty left hook that landed against his temple making him see stars as he stumbled back away from the two.

“Don't ya touch him. I ain't need ya help tellin' me how t' discipline my son Collins!” 

The younger brother snapped and tackled the other to the ground where they landed in a mess of flying limbs and angry shouts. 

“Discipline?! Will, ya dumbass sumbitch yer killin' the boy!” 

It took about a minute in a half to pin Will down something Jess knew would be impossible if the man hadn't been as slobbering drunk as he was. 

“Ya ain't ever deserved them boys Will! You ruthless selfish sonovabitch! Why that boy still loves you is beyond me!”

Fury took over him just the outrage and the thought that his own brother could do this to his own kids was just so god damn infuriating he couldn't help it and he went nuts punching Will over and over again til he stopped moving.

Panting from the exertion Jess wiped his brow before quickly moving to Daryl eyes going wide with panic when he saw the motionless body with a pale face. 

“Oh shit, no.” 

He lifted the boy's head to unbuckle the belt that had been used to keep him quiet ripping it away as soon as the latch was loose. 

Blood quickly spilled from Daryl's mouth and he turned him onto his side trying to get him to cough it up with a few whacks on the back.

Nothing. 

He didn't move.

“Aw, noo.. Daryl… don't ya give up yet son.” Jess pleaded desperately rolling the boy back over. 

The man took a moment to swipe the boy's bangs out of his face and made sure to set the boy's jaw at a certain angle before he started to try CPR.

For five minutes straight he continued to try to revive his nephew with no results until he felt tears prick at his eyes as he leaned back on his ankles. 

“No. Will what the fuck have ya done...” he snarled voice cracking with emotion as he stared at the boy's body. 

Anyone else would have stopped by now... and he was going to but he decided to try one more time thus starting one last round of chest compressions. 

He leaned forward and angled the boy's chin once more to try to transfer some air into the boy's lungs. 

This time he did get a result when Daryl's neck lurched upward spitting up blood into Jess mouth and all down the front of his chin and neck turning his head and gasping for air.

Jess pulled back spitting blood onto the wooden floorboards before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Oh Jesus.”

He turned back to his nephew who lay there coughing and sputtering in between taking large gasping breaths of air.

“Good boy Daryl.” he praised softly rolling him onto his side trying to help the boy expel all the blood from his lungs with some firm pats on the back of his shoulders. 

After he was done spitting up blood it still seemed to take minutes for Daryl's coughing fit to subside and Jess sat there beside him cooing to him reassurances and trying to make the boy less nervous.

When the coughing eventually morphed into hysteric sobs of pain and grief that was when Jess picked the young man up into his arms. 

“Oh Christ,,, it hurts… Jess it hurts... Jess h-help...” the boy managed to gasp out between heavy sobs.

“Shh, I know son. C'mon let's get you cleaned up.”

That was the last thing Daryl remembered before he passed out.


	17. Chapter 16

As Rick sat in the recliner he'd pulled up beside the bed Daryl was occupying staring at the redneck's bruised face he couldn't help but think about Shane, and of course that made him think of Lori. 

Rick knew Lori was straying. He'd known it for a long time.. since a couple years before the outbreak and he'd tried his best to try to keep her by his side.

Time was one thing that he knew bothered her his job required a lot of that obviously. Family too she'd wanted another baby and back then he didn't. He'd do things here and there to try to rekindle their romance one time even booking a surprise family vacation to Australia. 

That was one of the times where he made some of the best memories he still had to this day.

Yet despite his efforts the romance didn't last, why? Well he had the outbreak to blame for that. Two days after they'd gotten back home.

It seemed like the events that were taking place around the world, things Rick once thought only happened in horror movies really took their marriage downhill.

Which was why when he showed up at the camp after waking up from his coma in the hospital he honestly wasn't all that surprised by her reaction at first. 

Shane's however… that one hurt. 

Rick had never known who exactly Lori had been sleeping with but the look of horror and slight disappointment upon Shane's face had really given it away.

He couldn't gather the courage to confront the man about it at that point in time, he was too confused and betrayed to want to deal with it then. He had people who needed help and that's what he was going to do. His own problems could wait.

And they waited. 

And waited.

And waited... until he saw how his brother had started to change in behavior. 

Shane was tearing at the seems rapidly, starting to become less and less of the loyal, respectful lawman he'd called his partner to something akin to a hostile, violent criminal. 

After he'd heard about what he did to Ed in response to the man's abuse toward Carol, he was absolutely shocked because that sounded nothing like the Shane he knew. The intensity of the beating had made his stomach churn. 

Then he'd just dismissed it thinking it was stress, not that that made it better they were all stressed and full of mixed emotions. 

But having known the man most his life Rick knew just how much stress and frustration affected Shane's self-control.

When he found Daryl and Shane engaged in a violent fistfight in the woods outside Hershel's farm shortly after Daryl was finally up and about from his tumble with the spooked horse, he was mortified. 

**~ Flashback ~**

Rick let out a small growl of frustration continuing stomping through the dead leaves and millions of dry broken twigs upon the forest floor.

He needed to talk to Daryl about letting him know if he broke something, that was the last time he let the man drive that vehicle. When he'd asked Glenn about it the kid deadpanned for a moment before he broke out into a fit of giggles that he was quickly trying to suppress as he stared into his irritated face.

Apparently Daryl either couldn't drive a stick-shift or didn't know what the hell he was doing. Glenn carried on telling him how they drove down the road with the horrid clack, clack, clank, of the groaning vehicle as the redneck tried to drive it. 

Oh and of course the man's damned pride kicking in when Glenn offered to drive it. Daryl' smacked him on the back of the head and snarled 'Ya ain't drivin' shit! So shut up.' much to Glenn's amusement. Sadly, in doing so Daryl fucked up something in the truck and now he had to wait til Dale could fix it.

Rick was snapped out of his internal rant when he heard voices up ahead.

“Where the hell have you been?”

That was Shane's voice. What was he doing out here?

“Huntin' what does it look like I'm doin'? Stupid asshole.” the gruff voice he recognized as Daryl's responded irritably.

“We're going on a run today, come on?”

“What? Again? Just went on one yesterday with Glenn.” 

“Need different stuff, just you an' me. Now move it.”

Daryl scoffed, “Ain't goin' anywhere. Not with y' crazy ass sumbitch.” 

There was a loud thud and he could hear several grunts of pain and the sound of a struggle as bodies shuffled through the dead decaying forest floor. He picked up the pace as he followed the source of the voices in the dead silent woods. 

“Hey, what the hell man! Get off-” 

“Shut the fuck up.”

Rick finally spotted the two men through some brush and his blood went icy.

Both Shane and Daryl had blood on their face from exchanged blows it looked like Daryl had landed a few good hits.  
As Shane had shown before though the first day Rick had met Daryl, despite the redneck's sheer muscle his smaller frame was no match for his partner. That and Shane's skilled police training when it came to hand to hand combat.

The sight before his horrified eyes made his jaw drop open in shock. Standing there silently as he watched the two men struggle. 

He currently had Daryl grabbed from behind held in a chokehold with his other hand clamped tightly over his mouth and nose, his teeth were bared shining brightly in contrast with his flushed face ears a bright red with anger as he held the smaller man tightly against him.

Daryl's right arm was reaching up and behind towards Shane's head while his left arm clawed furiously at the man's hand on his face, Rick could see small droplets of blood causing small trails of blood to trickle down Shane's wrist. 

“Redneck trash.” Shane snarled.

It was now that Daryl's hand found purchase reaching up and tangling in Shane's hair yanking as hard as he could as he forced the man's head down til his nose was almost touching the top of his shoulder. 

“Arrgh, fucking sonuvabitch...” the other man spat voice trailing off into a hiss of pain as he continued to strangle the smaller body.

Daryl's eyes were bugged wild with panic and Rick could hear the man's struggle to breath increasing as his feet ground into the dirt. 

Finally his shock faded away knowing he had to do something before Shane quite possibly killed the other man he stalked forward into the line of sight, Daryl seemed to see him right away eyes immediately begging him for help, but Shane didn't seem to notice so he spoke up.

“Shane! What the hell are you doing!?”

His brother jumped in surprised looking up at his booming voice.

Immediately he let go allowing Daryl to fall to his knees in a heap on ground in front of him.

Daryl's whole body shook while his body sucked in large desperate gulps of air. Crawling towards his bow where he had dropped it in the scuffle, he just wanted to put distance between him and Shane and Rick didn't blame him. 

“What the hell has gotten into you brother?! This aint't you man, talk to me!” 

The glare that Shane shot him felt like it went straight through his heart, he said nothing and just started walking back to the farm without a word.

Rick would address that later. “Daryl? You alright?” 

Daryl coughed for a few seconds before nodding. 

**~ End Flashback ~**

Rick jumped when he felt the bed jerk where his knee was resting against the side.

“No… Negan please..” came the small whine from his friend as he tossed and turned amongst the covers.

Realizing that Daryl was having a nightmare he stood and leaned over the bed, placing his hands against the face with hair plastered to the sides of his head with sweat.

“Daryl, wake up man.” 

The contact drew forth a choked cry and the body tried to twist away from his touch, “Don' touch me… no...” 

Rick leaned in closer, placing a gentle kiss on the man's forehead then shaking his uninjured shoulder.

That got him up, Daryl lunged forward with a startled scream and pushed violently at his chest but Rick didn't budge instead he grabbed his arms tightly and pulled him forward into an embrace. “Shh, it's okay man. He ain't here.” 

Daryl flailed and struggled with all his might until he actually wore himself out and he sat there leaning against him panting with exhaustion.

A heavy silence filled the room for a long time until Rick heard his friend take a deep shuddering breath and then.. “R-Rick?” 

Rick pulled away a bit to look at Daryl's face staring up at his own and offered a smile. “Yep. Bad dream?”

Daryl leaned his head against Rick's chest and let out a sigh. “Yeah.”

The other man planted a kiss on top of the sweaty dark hair and caressed the back of bare shoulders. “Hey, look at me.” 

His friend obeyed lifting his tired head to look up at him with sad eyes. 

Rick inspected Daryl's bottom lip which was still split and it looked like it had opened up again because he saw blood starting to dribble down his chin. 

Carefully he wet his thumb and used it to wipe away the blood from Daryl's sweaty face.

When he looked into the man's blue eyes again Rick couldn't help but notice something was different. They were still so full of sadness but he could see something else he couldn't quite place.

That was when Daryl shifted in his arms to lean upwards bringing their faces closer to each other. 

Rick froze he wasn't quite sure what was happening here, if it was good or bad… but he sure as hell knew it was a bit uncomfortable.  
Then he felt Daryl's thinned trembling lips pressing against his own in a nervous kiss. 

**~ X X X ~**

Michonne was sitting on the white picket railing on the front porch of the house she been sharing with Rick's family. 

Her heart ached for the man she loved so deeply, even if she'd finally come to the conclusion that Rick's heart had belonged to someone else the whole time.

A loving smile graced her features as she ran the situation through her head. 

She knew she should be mad, any other woman in their right mind would be, but surprisingly she could say that she felt no spite, nor bitterness towards Rick. 

To be honest she found the whole situation rather adorable, she along with several of the other members of their group they'd come to call their family had always felt something deeper than friendship between Daryl and Rick.

There were times when the group would sit there and debate about it at times. 

At first she didn't believe that anything was up with the two and it was actually Carol who convinced her that there was the possibility that the two had feelings for each other that they weren't even aware of… either that or wouldn't admit it.

When Beth died and Daryl became so withdrawn for that long period of time she remembered how Rick would try to get the redneck to talk but Daryl just kept pushing him farther away. 

Carol, Aaron, Eric, Spencer, Tyreese, Glenn, Maggie, and admittedly herself too seemed to be the ones who have or for those who passed, had theories about the two men, while Abraham, Tara, Morgan, Gabriel, and Sasha were the ones who opposed it. Carl and Eugene tended to stay out of it. 

Glenn was usually the one who instigated the debates that of course occurred when Daryl and Rick were nowhere to be seen.

Regarding the relationship between Rick and herself, she was going to talk to him later about it… she really was kind of nervous about hurting the man's feelings for breaking up with him but she was no fool she could see the intensity in Rick's eyes when he looked at Daryl and that was okay, she was actually really happy for the two men.

Of course it was unlikely the two would be dating anytime soon with everything Daryl had been through at the hands of Negan… but she just had this gut feeling that eventually she knew the two would get together and honestly she personally thought the two were adorable with each other.

Footsteps coming up the wooden steps of the porch caught her attention and she watched as Carl slowly crossed the white painted cedar and stopped outside the door. Standing on the mat with his hand frozen on the door knob appearing to have some sort of inner struggle against opening the door.

Then she noticed the grim look upon the young man's face and she had an awful feeling that something was wrong with him. 

“Carl?” she asked worry was laced heavily into her voice as she watched him.

Slowly he turned his head to look over to her from underneath the rim of his father's hat. 

His adam's apple bobbed heavily as he choked down a lot of negative emotion. 

Michonne stood up setting her blade against the rail she quickly closed the gap between them putting her hands gently onto his shoulders. 

“Carl.. what is it?”

The boy took a deep breath and finally spoke in a barely audible whisper, “Maggie lost the baby.” 

Her left hand flew to clasp over her mouth as the horrified gasp escaped her, “Oh god...” 

Carl nodded, “She's a mess, maybe you could go see her?” 

That was all she needed to hear before she turned on her heel and broke into a run down the street, Carl watched her til she disappeared around a corner from sight.

He let out a heavy sigh and turned back to the door. 

Did he want to deal with his dad right now?

No, not really.

Letting out a huff he descended the porch stairs to go see if he could find Spencer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, hope it was worth the wait. Love you guys!!
> 
> FIVE MORE DAYS FUCKERS! FIVE MORE FUCKING DAYS! OMFG MY ADHD CANNOT HANDLE THIS!!!!


	18. Chapter 17

He was frozen on spot eyes blown wide as he felt Daryl's lips against his. 

What was going on? He was so confused.

Rick wouldn't deny it, it felt good and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't tempted but it just didn't seem right.

Daryl's eyes slid open for a moment and when he saw Rick's reaction he jerked back and ducked his head.

“R-Rick… I….. s-sorry….” 

The other man sat down on the side of the bed with his back turned he couldn't quite find the words for the situation. 

Finally he forced something out, “No, it's okay you've still got a lot of drugs pumped in your system, just kinda took me by surprise.” 

With his back turned Rick didn't notice the man's flinch at his words.

Daryl was at a loss but maybe it was time for him to say something about his feelings. He'd hid from the man for far longer than he should have.

Even if Rick was in a relationship with Michonne, he felt the need to make the intense feelings known to the man.

“A-Ain't the drugs Rick...” 

Despite the shadows of the room Daryl clearly saw how Rick's body tensed but just as quickly he saw him relax as he looked at him over his shoulder.

Rick was about to reply when there was a knock on the door and it gave the man all the excuse he needed to get up and walk to the door. 

When he opened it he found Michonne standing there with tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Michonne? What is it? What happened?” 

She shook her head causing her dreadlocks to bounce about. 

Rick placed his large hands on her dark shoulders and spoke in a voice barely above a whisper “Sweetheart, what is it?” 

“Maggie lost the baby.” 

His face fell and he quickly exited the bedroom to join the woman in the hallway closing the door behind him quietly. 

“Wh-What…?” he asked voice cracking with a mix of disbelief and emotion.  
Instead of repeating the news Michonne pulled her body close to his when she embraced the stunned man. “Rick, I need to talk to you.” 

Still stunned by the devastating news of their friend Rick allowed her to lead him by his arm through the hall and to the living room couch where they both sat down.

“You need to know that this wasn't your fault.” she stated her voice gentle as she spoke. 

Rick shook his head, “No… it is my fault. Glenn-”

Michonne's eyes hardened slightly, “No Rick, that was not on just you. We followed you and you know that if we didn't agree with your decision we would have tried to stop you. We failed Maggie and Glenn… all of us did.” 

She stared into Rick's glassy eyes with her chocolate brown pools for a moment before looking towards the hallway that led to the guest bedroom. “… and Daryl.” 

Those words pushed him over the edge and he broke down into a hysterical mess. 

“Mich… oh god none of them deserved this, Glenn was going to be a father, Maggie a mother, and Daryl… Negan did the one thang that he just couldn't handle, the one thang!”

She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders letting her left hand snake up to card through his hair absentmindedly. “Shh, I know sweetheart.”

Rick let his forehead rest against her breasts as he sobbed, “He's just completely broken… h-he's finally dealing with all… t-the pain from his childhood… losing Merle… a-and what Negan did all at once! Michonne… I-I don't know if he'll recover...” 

To his surprise the woman chuckled at the last statement. 

The man's head snapped up to stare at her with a mix of shock and a bit of anger when he saw the loving smile upon her face.

Michonne leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead then spoke, and to Rick's surprise she sounded so certain, “He will.”

He opened his mouth to reply but he couldn't find the words so he closed it again fumbling over his words in his mind. 

Eventually he managed to get something out. “How do you know that? You ain't heard some of the thangs I've hear-”

“Because I know Rick Grimes.” 

The sheriff pulled away from her embrace to look at her confusion written all over his face. 

“What do you mean?” 

Soft dark hands cupped his face thumbs running over his cheekbones, “Oh Rick.. sweetheart I can tell when someone isn't sure what they want and when someone wants something else.” 

“I don't understand.”

“Rick, baby you love him. You may not realize it but your heart has belonged to him for a long time now.” 

Rick shook his head desperately, “No that's not-”

“And he loves you, I can see it in his eyes. How comfortable he feels around you, he trusts you, and right now baby he needs you. That's why I know he'll heal, because as long as he has you by his side I knows everything will be okay… oh Rick, love please don't cry.”

The man startled for a moment he hadn't even realized the tears were streaming down his face. 

“I don't know if he can-”

A loud crash from down the hall made him stop mid-sentence and he was immediately springing to his feet, sprinting towards the guest bedroom.

He flung the door open and skid to a screeching halt when he spotted Daryl crouched on the floor in the corner of the room, his back was turned to him but he could see the redneck's shoulders heaving with heavy sobs. 

Beside him was a broken vase and Rick got this feeling of dread as he briskly walked forward towards his friend. 

When he finally reached him he felt like he might faint when he saw all the blood on the carpet pouring from Daryl's left wrist. 

He watched with horrified eyes as Daryl sluggishly moved to the other hand and that snapped him into action. 

Forgetting to be cautious of how he handled the man in his frantic panic to try to get the sharp object away from him, Rick dropped heavily to his knees behind Daryl and grabbed his shoulders from behind.

Daryl screamed in absolute terror starting to struggle against him arms flailing as he tried to nail him in the stomach with the sharp jagged piece of glass. 

“Daryl stop!” Rick cried desperately as he held onto the redneck's bucking form trying to twist out of his grasp. 

“Noo! Get away from me!!” 

Rick managed to knock the glass out of Daryl's hand cutting up the back of his own as he did so, he wrapped the man up in a tight embrace pinning his arms to his sides in the process he draped his body over the top of the scared man.  
“Lemme go!!” 

He could feel tears rolling down his cheeks now and he buried his face into Daryl's dark hair as he held the man tight, when he opened his mouth to reply all that came out at first was a strangled sob from the back of his throat. 

“Never.” he responded voice wavering with emotion. 

Rick felt Daryl's tense body relax but just as quick it started to tremble and he knew the redneck was crying. 

Towels were suddenly dropped onto the floor beside him and he looked up to see Michonne standing there with a few tears on her face at the sight of their broken friend. 

Daryl let him bind the wound keeping his eyes averted the whole time even when Rick tried to talk to him. 

Michonne left them alone to give them some privacy and Rick let out a sigh before turning back to Daryl studying his nervous form intently. 

Rick brought his hand up to Daryl's chin and tilted his face up to look at him he stared into deep blue eyes for a moment before he moved forward and brought their lips together. 

At first Daryl tried to pull away he could see a flash of anger spark through the redneck's eyes but when he tangled a fist into the back of his head gripping hair tightly to keep his head still, that was when he gave in.

He could see a few tears run down his face as he leaned into the kiss to deepen it, pausing to take a shuddering breath before returning back to his lips. 

When the kiss ended Rick pulled Daryl into an embrace holding him tightly.

Daryl's body relaxed against him and Rick barely heard his voice so soft and timid as he spoke to him softly. 

“Rick… I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go, lemme know what ya guys think!!! 
> 
> I GOT GOOD NEWS!!! I FINALLY GOT MY DRIVER'S LICENSE!!! YES I AM 21 ALMOST 22 AND I DIDN'T HAVE MY LICENCE!! It's taken me three years to get it too! It took me two years to pass the permit test. I have awful test anxiety you see, made my school grades suck something awful. Holy fuck man. I'm so happy! I can actually drive now! Well legally now, bwahaha you really think that stopped me?


	19. Chapter 18

Rick swallowed nervously at the softly spoken words, he wasn't quite sure what to say because he couldn't say it back right now it was too soon for him to do that. 

He knew Michonne was right, he'd been feeling something more between him and Daryl for a while now but he didn't quite know if he could call it love to that level.

Or… maybe he could. 

“Y' don't have to say it back yet.” Daryl's voice snapped him back to reality he obviously read his thoughts by his facial expression.

The older man pulled back to look into eyes that had always seemed more blue than his own running his fingers through the wild long dark lochs on the other's head.

“I just can't right now, but I will tell you that I've felt something more between us for a while now.”

Daryl nodded and Rick was relieved that the man didn't seem upset by his response. 

There was a tense silence in the room and let out a sigh trying to debate with himself if he should tell Daryl the news about Maggie now or later.

He decided with the second option for right now he and Daryl needed to talk. Rick let his hand rest upon the smaller man's back running over one of the demon tattoos that he could tell had at one point been an attempt to cover up some scars.

Rick could feel a gut-wrenching ache coil in his gut as he let the pad of his thumb trace over one large scar in particular feeling the raised gnarled flesh beneath his fingers. 

Daryl jerked against the touch with what the sheriff could only assume was a natural instinct he'd developed many, many moons ago in his childhood. 

Out of respect for the man's privacy he pulled his hand away taking the flinch as a sign of unease with physical contact there. When he turned his attention back to Daryl however, he noticed the far away distant look that was now chiseled onto his bruised face.

The older man tried to get the redneck to make eye contact but he continued to stare straight ahead as if in a trance.

“Daryl?” 

“My father was a mean son of a bitch.” 

Rick was surprised by the statement, not that he didn't already know this but Daryl had never really talked to him about his childhood… with the exception of the other night when he was suffering from a high fever and thought he was having a conversation with Merle. 

“… when the dead started walking 'was with him and my uncle Jess that day, hunting. Jess had a cabin up in the mountains and walkers had come through Sedalia up the pass. We didn't hear a word about 'em and they took us by surprise. Tore up a close friend apart and mauled the old man. Jess shot the fucks before they killed him got bit on the arm in the process. He called me over and I remember staring down at the old man… the man who raised me my whole life if you could call it raising...”

The sheriff watched as Daryl started to fidget with his hands as he tried to will himself to keep telling the story.

“Daryl, you don't have to talk about this.” Rick tried to reassure but to his surprise Daryl shook his head in response eyes becoming glassy as he subconsciously let his fingers ghost over a scar on his belly, and Rick was positive the redneck was reliving the time he received that one in particular.

He grabbed Daryl's hand gently and pulled it away from the mark that stuck out in contrast against his skin rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb to try to soothe him.

“N-No… I gotta Rick, cause there's one thing I ain't ever understood… don't think it's normal and m'just really fucked up.”

This perked Rick's interest it almost sounded like Daryl was trying to ask him a question. “What's that?”

Daryl's lip quivered and he took a deep breath as a couple tears slid down his battered cheeks. 

“After everything Will did to me.. when I saw the ole man lookin' like his chest'd gotten blown out with a shotgun his guts hangin' out… layin' there choking on his blood… 'was sad… scared even… of losin' him. I wanted to try to help him… but Jess told me he was too busted up and that the only thing to do was to put him outta his misery.” 

Rick felt Daryl's body convulse against him as he tried to suppress a sob. 

“Jess handed me his glock so that I could do it.. and I just stared at my dad with the gun aimed at his head… and.. I couldn't do it, 'member staring into his eyes and seeing something that made me fall apart… ain't ever known for sure if I saw correctly or if it was in my head… but the old man was looking at me in a way I ain't seen since before mamma died… how Merle always looked at me when I was hurt and he'd take care of me.”

The other man felt his heart ache in his chest he had a feeling he was sort of getting a hint at what Daryl was troubled by.

“With love?” 

Daryl looked up at him to meet his eyes for a moment and Rick could see the guilt, pain, and a lot of shame inside them as he slowly nodded his head. “… an' I felt like I let him down cause in the end I… I just couldn't do it, and Jess did it instead.” 

The younger man started to fidget again as they sat in silence, Rick trying to think of how to word what he was going to say in attempts to answer the indirectly unasked question. 

It was a good three or four minutes before he finally decided to speak, “Though your dad was much different than me.. Daryl as a father myself I can say that having children creates a strong emotional connection. I know it probably never seemed like it to you because of how your dad treated you and your brother.. but in the end he was your father and you and Merle were his kids. I imagine Will felt guilt throughout your life for how he was with you two, like he let you down.”

Daryl looked down at his lap clearly deep in thought as silent tears continued to drip off his chin. 

“Despite everything… I still loved him… I never left home like Merle did.. 'was with him til the day he died.”

Rick nodded his head placing a comforting hand on Daryl's shoulder, “I know.”

The redneck looked up at him and Rick was stunned to see how much confusion shone brightly in those blue eyes.

His lip was trembling as he tried to force words out of his mouth eventually he muttered in a voice so very broken it made tears prick at Rick's eyes. 

“Why?” 

The other man had to take a deep breath before he could respond. “For the same reason you did your brother Daryl.. he was still family.” 

Daryl looked down as he tried to stop his tears of grief. "Ain't never felt right to me...never felt safe around him but then he was gone... and I just felt more alone more vulnerable than ever."

Rick was surprised when he felt two large hand suddenly cupping either side of his face and Daryl's forehead was pressing against his, blue eyes staring into his own he could see the clear droplets trickling down his cheeks. 

" 'fore it were always just me and Merle. Thought Merle was the only man I could ever count on, but then ya showed up."

He nodded idly as he listened to the man speak to him taking note of how his voice wavered with all the pent up emotion as he held his face in his hands. 

"My brother wasn't a bad person." A soft sob made from the redneck made Rick have to clear his throat to keep himself together.

"I know-"

Daryl shook his head in response, "When I was growing up, 'member I always had this crock of a fantasy to be just like Merle. 'was always a scrawny lil' shit compared to them other kids in the area Merle was big and strong just like the old man. Merle was an ornery, racist, sexist, selfish, stupid, crazy ass sumbitch... but he was the toughest man I've ever known and he weren't ever there for me a lot of the time, but he would come through in the end when I really needed him.... and I-"

He had to pause to take a grasping breath before he could continue and force out his words. 

"... an' I miss him. I-I miss that crazy sumbitch s-so much...." 

Just like that the younger man broke down burying his face in his hands while intense sobs shook his entire body in between desperate intakes of oxygen. 

Rick pulled the redneck to his chest and buried his face in the dark mop of hair inhaling his scent and placing a soft kisses on top of his head and the sides of his face. "I know man.... I know you do Daryl.... I'm sorry." 

"Do you think he hates me for it?" 

Rick couldn't mask the confusion in his voice at the question. "For what?" 

"For not getting there soon 'nough. For how I turned out since he's been gone?"

The other man's heart ached painfully but he offered Daryl a sad smile before pecking him gently on the lips and pulling him close again. 

"No, hardly even knowing that man for that long, I'm still certain that he would feel like you've done right by him. He wouldn't want to be one of them thangs Daryl. If anything I think he'd be proud of how far you've come since then, you've helped build something special Daryl you've got people here for you who care about you and love you. I think he's happy." 

Daryl's was still crying as he stared deep into Rick's eyes, "How do you do that?" 

"Do what?" 

"Y'all make me feel safe... ain't ever felt safe 'round nobody. Couldn't trust people not ta hurt you... but the more time I spend around you the more and more I feel like everything will actually be alright. That I'll make it. How do you do it? Why you?"

Some tears spilled from Rick's eyes at the words and he shook his head slowly before pulling the man into another tight embrace, "I-I don't know...."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE YOU GO SWEETHEARTS!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3
> 
> OMFG THE PREMIERE HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU GUYS!!! I'M SCREAMING!!!!


	20. Chapter 19

Two days had passed since Carl and Aaron had returned to Alexandria with Hilltop's doctor and Jesus in toe and since then Rick couldn't help but notice the silent tension that had befallen upon his group at the two men's presence. 

It was because of this that Rick had decided to call for a meeting which was how he found himself in this current situation. 

Everyone was gathered in Gabriel's chapel, well minus Daryl who was still resting in the guest room of the house he shared with both his family and Michonne. 

Abraham, Sasha, Anna, Carl, and Michonne were sitting in the front row pew on the left side of the isle while Bruce, Rosita, Carol, Spencer, and Gabriel located on the right. 

As for the middle row was taken up by Aaron, Eric, Maggie, Enid, and Francine on one side and Kent, Bob, Scott, Tobin, Barbara and Tara on the other. 

Way in the back near the door standing against the wall was Jesus and Harlan who were conversing quietly with themselves. 

The former sheriff couldn't help but notice all the annoyance displayed on his group's faces while they watched as he and Spencer were locked in another heated conversation started when the younger man bitched about something stupid as he normally did. 

“Jesus Spencer, when don't you have an issue with somethin' I say?” 

Spencer narrowed his eyes irritatedly from where he slouched in his seat folding his arms over his chest. 

“I just don't understand why the hell they're here.” he spat coldly. 

A few grumbles could be heard in the room most notably Rick noticed a _'fucking moron'_ from Maggie and the _'motherdick'_ from Abraham which was followed by a _'hush'_ and an elbow from Sasha. 

The young man's words were echoing in his head making his mind go in circles of frustration.

He opened his mouth to respond but instead it just hung open as he stared at the brunette in disbelief.

It took a moment but finely he uttered an incredulous, “You have got to be kidding me.” 

When Spencer made no indication of responding anytime soon and instead decided to keep up with the attitude that he couldn't help but take more personally knowing that the young man held nothing but pure disdain for him ever since Deanna let him take leadership of the community. 

Spencer was constantly trying to either do or say something to rile him up, always argued with every decision he made, would pull stunts that put all of them in danger just to try to make himself look bad so that his leadership would be questioned, even though it would never work the way he wanted. 

Now with all that had happened, the reins of terror Negan had over all of them… Jessie, Sam, Ron, Denise… Glenn.. the tightness of supplies ever since that night, Daryl… and… and... he just snapped. 

“Why are they here? Really Spencer? Have you seen the stuff that sick bastard has done? Or are you so self-absorbed that you haven't noticed that Glenn is gone?! I know you've seen what he did to Daryl!” 

“So that gives you the right to bring enemies into this community?” 

With those words Spencer had all eyes on him each set holding either disgust or annoyance while Jesus and Harlan watched the exchange awkwardly from the back. 

“Enemies!? Let me make this crystal clear to you son, the people of Hilltop aren't our enemies that includes Paul and Doctor Carson. 

“Bullshit! Yes they are Rick! Don't you see that this is a race? Everyone has to collect shit for some asshole you got us involved with! Whose to say they haven't shoved food in their pockets!” 

Before Rick could respond it was Jesus who responded with soft laughter followed by a small _'wow'_ muttered under his breath.

Spencer twisted around in his seat to glare murderously at him opening his mouth to respond before the man beat him to it. 

“Your friend was dying and needed medical attention-” 

“Nothing in this world is free! You guys came here for something!” the younger man yelled rising to his feet with fists clenched tightly at his sides. 

Jesus stepped away from the wall and proceeded to make his way down the isle until he was standing directly in front of the taller man. 

“Maybe we're just good people.” 

The other man scoffed at this, “Those don't exist anymore, frankly if Rick was a real leader he would have thought of the group rather than his little boy toy, he would have let him die-”

All at once a the loud crack of skin hitting skin echoed throughout the chapel. 

Jesus was standing there awestruck and it took a moment for everyone to register what had happened as they could now see that Carol was standing beside the two men directly in front of Spencer.

Everyone was silent and jaws dropped as the realization of the exchange came to surface.

Shaken by the unexpected blow Spencer took a moment before turning toward Carol who stood there with furious yet pained eyes. Yet despite the mixed sharp appearance the tears dripped off her face onto the wooden floorboards with a faint 'tap'. 

“That is enough. Who do you think you are?! To tell us who should or shouldn't die just because of your own petty hatred for a man who always thinks about what is best for this group.” 

Taken aback by her outburst Spencer couldn't even find the words as the woman took a shuttering breath before continuing. 

“We've all lost something from this world, we have all had to make sacrifices! Lately we've had to make many, we've lost many! Glenn, Denise, Jessie, Ron, Sam… Regina. Eugene betrayed us!! Maggie… and Maggie lost everything!” 

Everyone was so focused on the three standing in the middle of the room that no one had noticed the shadow that had cast on the ground from the propped open door of the chapel, until Harlan heard a small shuttered breath from where he stood against the wall. 

“Everything was fine before Rick and Daryl brought him here!” Spencer argued pointing an accusing finger at the bearded man in front of him. 

“You are a fool if you truly believe that Spencer. That man would have found the community sooner or later we know this now. Them running into Paul was a blessing because if Negan had come without us knowing about him the losses would have been far more.” 

“You should be in bed.” Rick heard Harlan's hushed voice through the angry shouts being exchanged between the two. 

He noticed the doctor wasn't in the same spot he had been in moments ago and scanned the room until he found him kneeling in front of the open door in front of someone. 

Wordlessly he made his way down the isle thankful that everyone was too occupied by the heated discussion to notice let alone care where he was at and found that it was Daryl that the doctor was kneeling over. 

Daryl's face was sheet white and he looked shaken as he sat staring at the ground with wide eyes and his jaw hanging open slightly. 

“Hey man, you okay?” Rick whispered as he joined the doctor's side. 

Slowly Daryl lifted his face to look into Rick's face with bright blue eyes slowly glassing up with tears.

Rick ran a gentle hand through his dark sweaty hair eyes suddenly filled with concern by his … boyfriend?… friend… um he was still just going to go with friend right now.. it was still too new to him.

“Daryl?” 

The redneck's jaw worked as he tried to find his words to speak and it took several seconds but finely he uttered in a small voice that broke Rick's heart just with the sound alone. 

“M-Maggie…?” 

He couldn't help but find his own eyes filling with tears as he saw nothing but a deep sorrow and a powerful source of sheer guilt and endless regret start to flood Daryl's eyes. 

Deciding they weren't going to talk about this here Rick looked to Doctor Carson, “You think you can get him back to my house? I'll be there shortly once I get this settled down.”

Carson nodded his head in agreement and to Rick's surprise was able to get Daryl up without a fuss this time he figured he was just in too much shock to put up much of one. 

As the two made their way down the street together Rick let out an exasperated sigh and turned around to try to get everyone settled down. 

_'This is going to be a long day.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait for an update!! Hope it was worth it! I know there's not a whole lot of action in this chapter but I've been stuck for a while and I'm just trying to figure out where I wanna go after this!
> 
> As always my lovlies! I love you!!


	21. Chapter 20 A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been working on this chapter since September just for you guys! Now in the end I have good news and I have bad news. I'll give you the bad news first. 
> 
> You may ask why does it take THAT long to write a chapter? Well I'll tell you, this chapter was going to be absolutely huge! Like it was going to be A LOT longer than this I was going to have Negan kill every single one of them one by one in front of Daryl and then possibly do some other stuff to him afterwards to rub in who's in charge and basically scare the fucking shit out of him. So this chapter had huge plans! 
> 
> However I wanted to move forward with the story and my motivation and muse for writing that lengthy chapter has been very slow and gradual. I didn't just want Negan to maul Dale, shoot Andrea between the eyes for her speaking out against him, have Negan bitch like two sentences and kill someone for uttering a word. I wanted it to have a lot more quality than just 'bang' 'bang' 'bang' everyone's dead. So because of that whole confrontation dream that we just saw Daryl have, got cut short big time. 
> 
> THAT'S THE BAD NEWS!
> 
> THE GOOD NEWS!!
> 
> I am going to list this chapter as 'Chapter 20 A' because even though this is how I decided to do it in the end for the story I DO want to come back to this chapter later on and do the other version as well and post it. Whether or not I am going to make another story for like extra scenes or drabbles not I don’t know yet, but just know that wherever we're at in the story you pay attention because if for example I'm on Chapter 25 and all the sudden the next chapter I post says "Chapter 20 B" just remember that IT DOES NOT change anything that already happened before. It's just going to be an extra scene.

Pain. Oh sweet Jesus his whole body hurt… but it seemed like his chest was the worst. Why did it feel so damn cold in here?

Daryl opened his eyes and froze as he found himself in a familiar setting. 

That clearing. That… that night… that… horrible night that changed everything.

He was back in that line… 

Wait… that would mean….

He quickly turned his head toward the right to glance at the far end of the line and his mouth dropped open when it wasn't Glenn he saw sitting there.

No.

At the far end near some trees was Shane; muscles, black curly hair and all!

And… and beside him was Lori with her long brown locks pulled back in a loose ponytail trying to console a crying Judith in her arms. 

Scanning again he found that they were all there… 

… all of them.

Andrea sat with golden blond hair and floral shirt beside Amy with equally as bright hair and a worried look on her young face.

Flashes of Amy's snarling face and Andrea's tears of sorrow, the loud bang of a gun followed by loud mournful sobs invaded his head momentarily. 

Tyreese sat between Michonne and Abraham his normally cheerful face a mask of frustration and unease. 

Blood from walkers left and right. The lifeless body of a dear friend just staring at the ceiling. The look of sheer wrath upon the face of Rick Grimes as he discovered the body. All the chaos that had been thrown at them that day. 

Tears started to well up in his eyes at the thoughts and he couldn't help but choke on a sob when he spotted Sophia trembling beside Carol who was trying to remain so strong. 

The smell of burning flesh, the furious roar of a fire that enveloped Hershel's barn thrummed against his eardrums. The inhuman growls of a young walker with graying blond hair and a blue shirt with what once was a bright rainbow now dirty and faded stumbling out of the barn doors shielding it's eyes from the brightness of the sunlight, the heart crushing sobs that Carol had made as he'd held her back so that Rick could do right by her.

“Oh god...” he barely choked out when he spotted Hershel and…. Beth…. Who were sitting beside each other on the other side of Dale who still wore that worried expression. 

Images of the Governor raising Michonne's katana, the screams of both the Greene sisters followed by the agonizing sobs. Hershel's decapitated head and the cruelty that had made up Philip Blake's face. 

The scissors clutched in Beth's hand. Her blond hair stained with blood. The bang of a gun ringing in his ears. Intense unforgettable rage that had exploded from him. The weight of her body as he carried her from the hospital… Maggie's endless cries at the sight of her sister's body. 

Another sound of a gun going off echoed in mind, accompanied by the sight of Dale's silent pleading expression as he choked on his own blood. His own voice speaking “Sorry brother.” … the same words his Uncle Jess had uttered as he eased his own father's suffering that day when it all started. 

Finely unable to hold back his tears he lowered his head to stare at the pool of blood that had been formed from in the dirt in front of him from the gunshot wound in his chest. 

“Don't be such a puss Darleene.” a voice came from his left.

Eyes widening in surprise his head snapped to stare at his older brother who he found kneeling right beside himself.

Anger. Frustration. Fear. Worry. The sight of his brother leaning over a corpse only to raise his head and drop a mouthful of human flesh at the sight of him. The grunts and growls. The tears and the unbearable decision. Him plunging his hunting knife into his brother's skull over and over again until all he could do was lay there and sob. 

“That's everybody.” he heard a random savior announce.

Dread filled his gut at the memory of what was coming next, watching as Simon knocked on the side of the RV. “Alright, let's meet the man!” .

As on cue the fucker waltzed out of the damn vehicle like he was the hottest shit on Broadway.

Not that Broadway was hot anymore… or anymore for that matter.

“Pissing our pants yet? Boy, do I have a feeling we're getting close!”

He heard Merle mutter something unintelligible under his breath that sounded an awful lot like 'make you piss your pants sonuvabitch'.

“Yep. It's gonna be pee-pee pants city here real soon!” he chimed, stopping in his tracks when he was near the middle of the line their group was formed into.

“Which one of you pricks is the leader?” Negan looked around placing his hand on his hip before continuing, “I suppose with this turn of events it's time for me to introduce myself.”

“It's this one. He's the guy.” Simon offered up like the kiss-ass that he was. 

Approaching his friend Negan looked down at him bat resting over his shoulder that cocky smile upon his face.

“Hi.”

Rick didn't say a word he just stared up in horror at the larger man.

“You're Rick right? I'm Negan, and I do not appreciate you killing my men. ”

 _'No. No. No! Not again!'_ Daryl's mind screamed furiously. 

“Also, when I sent my people to kill your people for killing my people, you killed more of my people.”

The glare that formed on Negan's face nearly sent Daryl into a panic. “Not cool. Not fucking cool.”

“You have no fucking idea how not fucking cool that shit is. But I think you're gonna be up to speed shortly.”

He stepped away, bat swinging by his side as he started to pace about.

“Yeah. You are so gonna regret crossing me in a few minutes.”

The man circled around before coming to stand in front of him once again, staring down at him with a maniacal grin. “Fuck yeah you are.”

When he got no response from Rick, Negan sighed and turned to Simon. “Hey Simon, you know how much I fucking hate having to do these crisis calls?”

“Yeah?” 

“What the hell is this shit?” Negan muttered with a roll of his eyes. 

Negan twirled his bat in one hand for a moment as he paced the line his face showing nothing but a venomous irate.

All at once his voice boomed through the clearing, “Jesus, you bunch of assholes have some fucking balls!” and Daryl watched in absolute horror as without warning Lucille collided with Dale's face making a loud 'k'thunk' and the old man fell to the floor like a sac of potatoes. 

Andrea, Maggie, Beth, Carol, and Lori screamed, well a lot of them did but those were the most distinctive to his ears as Negan began bashing Dale's head in until there was nothing left. 

“No! Stop, stop! Oh god Dale!” Andrea wailed as she tried to move forward only to be stopped by a rifle butt to her cheek which sent her down on the ground with a pained cry. 

“Andrea!” Amy squealed from right beside her placing a hand on her sister's leg. 

“Enough!!” Negan's voice boomed turning from the mutilated corpse of Dale so fast that flecks of blood splashed all over the ground from the still dripping bat.

With that everything went quiet and all that could be heard was the faint sobs from various people in the group. 

“Don't anyone fucking move or I will have absolutely positively NO problem turning every single one of you miserable shits inside the fuck out.” 

“Okay! Okay!” Rick tried desperately to ease the man's rage lifting his hands in a form of surrender. 

Negan's eyes were on him now giving his friend his full attention.

“What… what is you want Negan?” 

With that the monster grinned raising his bat to point it at Rick with a playful grin. “Now, THAT is a good question… you see, Rick, whatever you do, no matter fucking what, you don't mess with the new world order. And the new world order is this, and it's really very simple. So, even if you're fucking stupid, which you very may well be, you can understand it. You ready? Here goes. Pay attention.”

Lucille was up in Rick's face again as the man leaned forward and started to speak softly. “Give me your shit... or I will kill you."

"Today was career day. We invested a lot so you would know who I am and what I can do. You work for me now. You have shit, you give it to me. That's your job.” 

As the sinister maniac started to pace while he spoke, not one eye was idle. All of them stared with mixed emotions.

“Now, I know that is a mighty big, nasty pill to swallow, but swallow it you most certainly motherfucking will.”

Daryl elbowed Merle when he heard his brother mutter a smart ass comment under his breath.

“You ruled the roost. You built something. You thought you were safe. I get it. But the word is out. You are not safe. Not even fucking close. In fact, you are fucked, more fucked if you don't do what I want. And what I want is half your shit. And if that's too much, you can make, find, or steal more, and it'll even out sooner or later. This is your way of life now. The more you fight back, the harder it will be.”

_'This can't be real….'_

“So, if someone knocks on your door...you fucking let us in. We own that fucking door! You try to fucking stop us and we will fucking knock that fucker down. You understand?”

No one, not one single person said a word.

“What, no answer?”

When he received no response Negan let out a mock sigh and looked up and down their line of people eyes flitting across each of them with a calculating quizzical expression.

“You don't really think that you were gonna get through this without being punished, now, did you?”

Negan shook his head and let out a sigh, “I don't want to kill you people. Just want to make that clear from the get-go. I want you to work for me. You can't do that if you're fucking dead, now, can you!?”

He turned his back to Rick for a moment, smoothing a hand over his hair before looking over his shoulder shooting a wicked grin that sent shivers up Daryl's spine. 

“I'm not building a garden.” his eyes turned sharp once again, “But you killed my people, a whole fucking damn shit load of them. More than I'm comfortable with. And for that, for that you gotta fucking pay.”

The man raised his bat again, squaring his shoulders as he spoke his voice void of previous playfulness, “So, now... I'm gonna beat the holy fuck fucking fuckity fuck outta one of you.”

The air was suddenly filled with an eerie silence that was so thick it was almost smothering. The only thing Daryl could hear was the faint sobs from Andrea and Amy as the rest of them sat silent too afraid to move nor make a sound.

“One of us? You mean him?” Shane's gruff voice broke the tense silence.

Daryl's eyes widened in shock at the words that the ignorant asshole Rick once called his best friend had just spoke aloud.

 _'Damnit Shane shut the fuck up!'_ his mind screamed as Negan started to walk towards the former Deputy subconsciously ducking his head when he passed him with that cocky stride on the way. 

The whole time Shane's glare followed Negan even as he knelt in front of him to be at eye level. 

Negan held out Lucille to drag the bat's sharp bloody barbs along the curvature of Shane's neck who bristled at the sick man's closeness. 

“Did I stutter?” he drawled out playfully. 

Lori's body was absolutely rigid as she held Judith tight against her chest turning her shoulder toward the man in futile attempts to keep the toddler away from Negan, as if she could even stop him if he wanted to take the little girl. 

When Shane showed now outward sign of response minus a cold sneer Negan's brow furrowed and he rose to his feet. He turned his back to the younger man as if he were going to walk away before all at once spinning on his heel to deliver a direct pistol whip to Shane's face that struck him across his mouth and the nose, the force of the blow snapping Shane's head to the side with an abrupt shout of pain. 

“Did I mother fucking stutter!?” Negan all but screamed in the younger man's face. 

Andrea let out a gut-wrenching sob at the man's statement and Daryl could hear Amy's sweet voice shaking with emotion as she tried to console her sister. He could still hear Andrea murmuring Dale's name.

Shane didn't respond as he turned to face the monster again with a hateful glare. 

Negan's eyes narrowed darkly and his leather clad hand shot out to catch hold of Shane's chin in a bruising grip. 

“I asked you a question.” he hissed lowly. 

“Shane! Shane please… don't...” Lori tried desperately. 

Daryl watched the exchange anxiously all the while memories were running through his head on repeat in an endless loop. 

_'Why is this happening? Shane was dead. Lori was dead. Beth… was dead. Merle… well he was definitely dead. Herhsell, Sophia, T-dog, Tyreese, Andrea, Amy, Dale.. Glenn.. all of them were dead.'_

None of it made any sense to him. He could only come to one conclusion. 

_'This ain't real'_

Just as that thought repeated itself over and over in his mind Daryl suddenly felt uneasy for reasons unbeknown to him… that was until he noticed all the peering eyes focused on him. 

“Excuse me?” Negan's curious voice with a smirk edging it's way into it reached Daryl's ears. 

Daryl blinked in confusion for a second before realization that he had spoken aloud spurred panic in his gut. 

Negan released his hold on Shane's face to make his way over to where he sat. He ducked his head when the larger man knelt before him, wanting to look at anything other than the bastard's face. 

“What did you just say?” the man asked lowly amusement clearly laced amongst it as he watched the redneck tremble at his boots. 

Daryl couldn't stop the whimper that rose from the back of his throat when he hesitantly met those deep amber eyes.

“I-I… I… I just...” 

Negan's hand delivered a cruel slap to his face drawing forth a yelp of shock mixed with the intense fear that was suffocating him, “You will answer me when you are spoken to!” he growled. 

Daryl choked on a sob and nodded desperately, acknowledging the man's words. “I-I'm sorry… I'm sorry…please...” 

“What did you fucking say?” 

He tried to wet his lips with his tongue before replying but his mouth was too dry, god he was so fucking scared.

“It… it ain't real. This… this whole thing…. It ain't real.”

Negan released his face with with a low whistle.

“Well shit! I think I fucking broke one of your boys Prick!” he chortled rising to his feet. 

“No.” Daryl responded quietly, “Didn't.” 

Those amber eyes were on him once more and soon Negan was kneeling in front of him again this time waiting patiently for him to speak. 

“It ain't real. They ain't real. You… you're not real.” 

Daryl heard a few people in the group mumbling to themselves quietly, Tyreese's “The hell?” Shane's “Stupid hick's lost it.” and Sophia asking Carol what was wrong with him before Beth's voice called out to him. 

“Daryl… what are you talking about?” 

“Everyone shut the fuck up right now!” Negan's voice roared right in front of him making him shrink back as everyone else silenced so that he could continue his interrogation.

Negan's hand was on his face again and he couldn't stop shaking. 

“Now what makes you say a thing like that?” he asked with an amused grin upon his face.

“I… I-I don't… I… It… it ain't….” 

“I… I-.. I-I can't hear you son you're gonna have to speak up.” Negan's mocking voice cut him off. 

Daryl bristled finely, eyes lit up with something fierce as he glared intensely at the murderer before him. 

“Cause! It ain't! They're dead!!” he shouted pointing at Shane. 

“What?” echoed across the group and from Negan himself, comically several were spoken simultaneously. 

“Shane, Lori, Andrea, Amy, Hershell, Tyreese, T-dog, Dale, Sophia… B-Beth…. Glenn… and… and Merle… they're all dead already!” 

“Daryl! What in the hell?” he heard Merle hiss at him quietly. 

“No! Shane got himself shot 'cause he went fuckin' crazy! Rick didn't have no choice!” he shouted angrily at all the confused faces that were staring at him like he was nuts. 

Daryl heard Rick stuttering over his words in response for a few moments before he finely found his voice, “Daryl…. I never...” 

At this his anger and frustration at not understanding what was happening just exploded. “Bullshit! You told all of us how Shane pulled a gun on your ass! That you and Carl put an end to it! He was fuckin' off his rocker!” 

He raised a hand to point an accusative finger at Lori. “Her! She didn't make it after she had Judith, I don't know why she's there!” 

“T-dog got mauled by walkers saving Carol at the prison, we thought we lost her too but then we found her.” 

“Bro… we killed all the walkers in the prison.” T-dog argued with him but he ignored it instead pointing to where Dale's mutilated corpse lay followed by Amy. 

“Dale… I-I put him down myself so he wouldn't turn. Andrea did the same thing to Amy after she turned.” 

His breathing was starting to pick up as tears rolled down his dirty cheeks and he pointed at Andrea. 

“Andrea went and got herself killed 'cause she couldn't keep her damn legs together!” 

Audible gasps came from a few of the women who were surprised to hear him talk like that directly to a woman and soon Andrea's voice of 'How dare you.' sounded as she tried to defend herself but he cut her off. 

“No! How dare you sunshine! What gave y'all the right to lead that man to us!? In the end it got ya whole lot huh? Fuckin' tossed you 'side like trash and took Hershell's head off!” 

He turned his eyes to Beth and had to take a moment to stop his sobs of grief before continuing. 

“B-Beth… you… you should'a just waited, we could'a had you home! W-With us and… an' god m'so sorry!” he sobbed meeting the gaze of her sweet blue eyes. 

“Tyreese got bit… and we couldn't do anything 'bout it.” 

Negan was so totally lost, had absolutely nooo clue what the hell this guy was going on about, but all he did know as he paced up and down the line back and forth was that it was fucking hilarious! 

“Daryl, sweetie just take a deep breath. You're just having a panic attack, it's okay.” Carol's anxious voice reached his ears. 

“M'not! C-Carol… I-I looked for Sophia for… for weeks! O-Only to learn that she was already gone… in that god damned barn! I-I'm so sorry Carol!” 

Next he turned to look at Merle. His big brother. The man who'd been there… and hadn't most of his life. The man he had to take down himself. 

“M-Merle… y-you…. You dumb sonuvabitch! Bro…I told y'all not ta go! Ya made me have ta kill my own brother y-you pig headed piece o'shit!” 

Daryl looked to Glenn with nothing but sheer regret and desperation before meeting Negan's amused gaze staring into his eyes with nothing but hate. “Glenn...he killed you… that did happen.. but it already did! This can't be happening and it's not fucking real!” 

Negan whistled lowly as he stared at the hysterical man who sat before him huffing and puffing. 

“Damn… you are really something.” he spoke with a mocking to his voice. 

Daryl glared into his eyes despite the trembling of his lower lip as he tried so damn hard not to break down again. 

“So let me get this straight… that fucking red smear that was one of your buddies? You're telling me that THAT isn't there? That it's not real?” 

“No. It ain't.” Daryl growled out lowly. 

Negan clicked his tongue softly and reached out to tangle a fist into Daryl's hair causing the red neck to tense visibly and when the fucker started to pull on his hair in attempts to drag him forward he snapped.

“Ge'off me!” he yelled struggling against the man, he clawed viscously at the wrist attached to the hand detaching roots from his scalp. 

Daryl heard an angered shout as Merle came into his line of sight trying to jump Negan from behind with his bladed arm raised to strike. 

The soft pop followed by Merle's cry of agony and the sound of his body landing on the ground with a thud made his eyes widen in shock. 

Negan didn't stop simply glanced over his shoulder to see the older red neck groaning in pain on the ground clutching his abdomen where a crossbow bolt was embedded deep into his flesh. 

He grinned and continued on his way towards Dale's mutilated corpse dragging Daryl with him as he went. 

“Nice shot Dwight!” he chimed happily receiving an indignant grunt in response. 

“Noo!! I'm going to fucking kill you! Y'motherfucker!” Daryl roared as he watched Merle's movements cease completely. 

Without warning his head was slammed into the dirt so hard that his ears erupted with a loud ringing. 

The strong metallic smell of blood invaded his nostrils and he quickly became aware of sticky fluid suddenly coating his face feeling chunks of squishy spongy particles both sticking and falling off his face. 

He opened his eyes and he felt bile rise in his throat as he realized that Negan had slammed his face in the remains of what was left of Dale's head. 

A cry of shock escaped him which was followed immediately by a strangled scream as he felt Negan's gloved hand forcing his face further against the gore that was once his friend. 

That's when his mind just broke. He didn't know what the fuck was going on or what was real and what wasn't any more! He didn't care! All he knew was he had blood, gristle, and internal organs and god knows that initially belonged to someone he valued as a companion shoved into his face. He just couldn't take it! He knew they were dead! But how the hell did this feel so real then?! He could feel the thick blood still cooling from it's former warm temperature on his face. Could feel bits of the man's brains and part of a an eyeball against his cheek! 

Negan's hand released his hair and his head shot up gasping for air as he dry heaved for a few moments before adding to the mess when he vomited and continued to do so until he couldn't do anything else but lay there and sob hysterically. 

“You telling me this isn't real? Cause boy it sure looks it!! I mean fuck you got that old bastard's brains dripping off your face!” Negan chortled. 

A flash of light flooded his vision and he heard someone speaking to him. Then a scream. Several loud bangs echoed through his ears and he saw red spray across the dirt all around him.  
Various images started to invade his head. 

Andrea's body laying covered in blood… too much blood… and her neck in an unnatural position and blue eyes staring blankly at him. 

Carol's throat slashed clean open so that blood spilled from her body to paint the dirt almost black. 

Maggie lying in the dirt with a hand moved towards her belly where she had been shot with a rifle through her abdomen… no doubt hitting the child still growing inside in the process. 

Hershell's lifeless body as he lay there with a hole in between his eyes from a revolver. 

Beth lying beside her father with a bolt sticking out of the center of her throat. 

Sasha's corpse lying there with nothing but mush and gore where her head had been bashed into nothing but a puddle of blood. 

Tyreese had Michonne's katana sticking out of his chest. 

Dale's headless corpse… his own vomit amidst the gore that was once his head. 

Michonne was laying in the soil with one arm missing where it had apparently been severed off and she'd bled to death. 

Lori was still alive… barely…she was dying... as she lay there choking on the blood that was rising in her throat from internal injuries caused from a gunshot to the chest. 

Aaron's headless corpse was just spurting blood in the grass.

Shane's lifeless eyes… or eye…. the one that didn't have a bolt sticking out of it just stared emptily up at the stars.

Amy.. where she lay her blond hair was stained with blood on the right side where she'd been shot in the back of the head. 

T-dog had Abraham's axe sticking out of the side of his throat. 

Rosita's lips stained a darker red than the lipstick he'd once seen her wear as blood spilled past them to dribble onto the ground against her cheek. 

Eugene's face still stained with fresh tears that almost took his focus away from the gaping hole between his closed eyes. 

Merle's body hunched over on its side, eyes closed which oddly made the man's face look the peaceful it'd ever been in the sonuvabitch whole life. 

Abraham's dead glazed over eyes staring unnervingly at him despite his pale features from lack of the blood that had escaped through the clean slice through his neck. His head was severed from his shoulders only by centimetres. 

Glenn had Rick's machete sticking out the side of his temple as he stared unfocused at the bloody pool of Maggie's body. 

Carl's body covered in large pools of blood and stab wounds. 

Rick's body littered with bullets. 

_'No! No! Not Rick! Not… not like this!'_

Negan approached him where he sat trembling in fear and placed two large hands on his shoulders, he started to shake him by the shoulders.

“Looks like you need to wake the fuck up you sorry shit! Cause this is as real as real can fucking be and you better get used to it.”

**~ X X X ~**

Maggie took a deep breath as she stepped onto the wooden steps of Rick's house, staring through the front door which was propped open with a large rock letting in the fresh air and casting beams of natural sunlight into the home freely. 

She had decided to go check on Daryl having realized that she hadn't yet seen him since he'd been brought back to Alexandria and after seeing the state of him yesterday… she'd decided it was urgent that she speak with him. 

“Maggie?” 

Even though it was the gentle voice of Carol it still made her jump.

Glancing to the left she saw Carol sitting in an old rocking chair she had placed on the far side of the porch.

“Carol, I didn't see you.” she commented offering a smile. 

The older woman's eyes were full of concern as she returned it weakly. 

“What are you doing out here?” Maggie asked after a moment of awkward silence. 

“Oh, just thinking.” 

The brunet nodded wordlessly before going silent again.

“You're here to see Daryl?” 

Maggie swallowed anxiously trying to find her voice as she stared into the older woman's eyes. “Yes… I need to speak to him.” 

Another moment of tense silence filled the air once more as Carol looked away from her instead casting her gaze to the streets, studying the neighbourhood with a far away expression.

“It looks so calm, these are the kind of days I used to enjoy the most.” 

Following her gaze Maggie bit her lip in efforts to try to hold back her own emotion. 

“These were the days when we weren't helping daddy around the farm… me and Beth would go ride the horses or go swimming in the pond.”

Carol swallowed thickly at her statement but a pained smile ghosted upon her face briefly. “That must have been lovely.” 

“I-It was.” the young woman croaked choking on a so before continuing, “What about you Carol? What was your favourite part?”

A long silence filled the air and Maggie observed the lone silent tear that escaped the woman's left eye. 

“Sophia.” she whispered softly. 

The woman took a deep breath before continuing, “I'd do stuff around the house to keep my mind off Ed. When he was out, I would sing to myself while I did the dishes or hang the laundry on the line outside. Then I'd sit on our porch swing and read in the warm light of the sun and the breeze would feel so wonderful….” 

Maggie moved forward to stand beside the chair when the older woman's body started to tremble as the built up emotion filled her voice. 

“Every day…. Every day I'd read until Sophia got home from school.” 

Despite the agony within her voice Maggie watched as a pained smile was forced onto her face. “Then we would go work in the garden… she loved planting flowers.” 

“I'm sorry Carol.” Maggie managed to choke out through a sob.

The gray haired woman wiped her eyes briefly before clasping her hands gently in her own, looking deep into her eyes with a seemingly limitless source of mourning.

“So am I, but I just want you to understand that I also know what you've been going through. I lost a child before I had Sophia as a result of my husband's abuse.”

Maggie's jaw dropped, she didn't even know what to say she hadn't known that and something gave her the feeling that no one else knew what was just shared with her either.

“It doesn't get any easier sweetie, not right away.” Carol's gentle voice reached her ears as the woman ran her fingers through her bangs. 

Maggie couldn't help it, she just collapsed beside the chair and cried. 

Carol turned in her seat placing gentle hands on either side of her face to look into her hazel eyes. 

“We're all here for you Maggie, we love you and we're a family now, that's something Rick has taught me at this point.”

She could only nodded before pulling the older woman into a tight embrace, "Thank you Carol… thank you so much.” 

Carol sat there with the young widow in her arms for several long minutes, long after her own tears had ceased until finely she felt her calm down enough she was able to regain her composure. 

“I'm gonna go check on him.” she whispered softly.

Carol nodded and pulled back placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, “Okay, if you need anything I'll be right here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been working on this chapter since September just for you guys! Now in the end I have good news and I have bad news. I'll give you the bad news first. 
> 
> You may ask why does it take THAT long to write a chapter? Well I'll tell you, this chapter was going to be absolutely huge! Like it was going to be A LOT longer than this I was going to have Negan kill every single one of them one by one in front of Daryl and then possibly do some other stuff to him afterwards to rub in who's in charge and basically scare the fucking shit out of him. So this chapter had huge plans! 
> 
> However I wanted to move forward with the story and my motivation and muse for writing that lengthy chapter has been very slow and gradual. I didn't just want Negan to maul Dale, shoot Andrea between the eyes for her speaking out against him, have Negan bitch like two sentences and kill someone for uttering a word. I wanted it to have a lot more quality than just 'bang' 'bang' 'bang' everyone's dead. So because of that whole confrontation dream that we just saw Daryl have, got cut short big time. 
> 
> THAT'S THE BAD NEWS!
> 
> THE GOOD NEWS!!
> 
> I am going to list this chapter as 'Chapter 20 A' because even though this is how I decided to do it in the end for the story I DO want to come back to this chapter later on and do the other version as well and post it. Whether or not I am going to make another story for like extra scenes or drabbles not I don’t know yet, but just know that wherever we're at in the story you pay attention because if for example I'm on Chapter 25 and all the sudden the next chapter I post says "Chapter 20 B" just remember that IT DOES NOT change anything that already happened before. It's just going to be an extra scene.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man you guys better get ready for a wild ride. lol
> 
> First Walkind Dead Story, BE NICE PLEASE!!! 
> 
> Lemme know what you think!!


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